I See the Moon Only

Soggy, limp bran flakes flit around in the bowl, mingling throughout the foul tasting milk. This was what I was reduced to. Even the most pathetic of miniscule details of my life had been made a misery. I was fired from my job I had at the local bakery because I had missed so many days of work, it wasn't my fault though. I had barely been fed properly in the last week and a half since my brother died. I had barely been sleeping, kept awake by my fear, I didn't want to get hurt again, I didn't want to get abused again. I didn't want to get raped again. I was living in fear and I could barely come out of my room, I had barely gone out of the house, it didnt help that Bruce basically kept me under lock down. I wasnt allowed out even if I wanted to.

I stood up abruptly; A squeak sounded from the chair that slid across the wooden floors. I headed towards the kitchen sink, kicking whatever was in my path on the way. A high pitched scream erupted from the corroded tap as I twisted it harshly, torrents of discoloured water sputtered all throughout. The pressure forced the water down and out in every direction. Towards the window, the dirty dishes, the empty fruit bowl and towaards me all over my thin pink sweater.

"Ugh mother fucking shit!" I yelled out, my frustration growing. I spun my body around and rammed my toes into the edge of the counter, misjudging where it actually ended. "Ahh holy mother of jesus ugh! Fuck me ow!" I was fuming by now. My ties felt like they were dipped in lava, my shirt was soaked through and I was sore all over with bruses scattered over my pale skin. My ribs stick out more and I have felt weak for the last few days, a constant feeling of light headedness.

I kept walking forwards, grumbling ever so slightly about 'how Im going to murder every mutt on this goddamn planet.' I was angry and it was obvious but its not like it matters. Nobody is around, Bruce has been out all day doing god knows what, leaving me stuck here all alone with nothing to do. I glided into my room and made my way over to my small draws, throwing off my top as I went leaving me only in my bright pink bra. I stared down at my almost bare body, discusted with what I saw. Rib that stuck out like two lumps and a stomach that looked like it rolled over when In reality it only had a small bump, thighs that pushed forward and looked tk be covered in fat. I wasnt skinny and it killed me every day. It didnt help that my skin also looked discusting covered in scars of sll sorts of blues, purples and pales. It wasnt the scars that I was inspecting and ridiculing though, it was the thick purple bruises s attered over the surface of my stomach. An overly large one was splotched over my right rib where I had been whacked with a metal vase. Bruce was brutal, one look and my skin would make peoples stomachs turn and make everyone cringe. What was worse was that the bruses were everywhere. No matter what I wore or how much makeup I put on, I couldnt hide them. I had a black eye which made my face swell. No wonder I didnt go outside.

A knock at the door sounded, removing from the trance I had on my stomach. I pulled over a blue t shirt and bounded towards the front door. It swung wide to reveal Vic and his brother Mike, both smiling hugely.
"Hey we haven't seen you in ag- oh dear god what happened?" Stumbled Mike as he reached his long arm softly towards my eye. I began stuttering and looking around behind me for an excuse until my eyes landed on the coffee table.
"I was lying on the couch when I fell forward and whacked my face on the corner of-the uh, table." I trailed off as their disbelieving eyes trailed over my lightly bruise arms, in which the wrists of were wrapped with red splotched bandages. Vic stepped forward into the house, grabbing my arm lightly and pullng me over to the couch and sat me down. Mike and Vic sat across from me and watched me intently and Vic began questioning me,

"What happened."
I shook my hea.
"Jessamine, what. Happened. To. You?"
I exhailed defeatedly and leant forward, ready to cry ... again. Because god knows thats all Ive been doing the last couple of days.
"Bruce."
"Who?"
"Dont go crazy okay, just listen to the whole thing before you do anythinf and dont interupt me okay?"
"Okay."
"Yeah, okay." Both boys agreed as i began telling my horror story of the past week. Beaten every day. Deprived of food. Unable to go out because Bruce would beat me worse if he found out. Raped every night almost.
Mike seemed to grow angrier and angrier with every day I went into detail about. By the time I was finished he was up and pacing the floor.

"That lowlife son of a bitch! How could he do that!?" I stared down at my hands, I know I haven't done anything wrong but i felt dirty. Slutty. Ashamed. "We have to do something, we have to get you out of here." Mike walked over to me and knelt before me so we were face to face. His piercings shone out from his lips and his lengthy brown hair was hidden under a snapback. "Let us help you, please."

I looked over towards Vic who moved to sit next to me and pulled his arm around my shoulers. "You need to get help Jez."
"I know."
"Can we see your bruises?" Mike piped in as he stared at my arm.
"Okay, if you dont mind it will just be easier if im in my underware." I bit my lip awkwardly.
"Whatevers okay with you." Vic replied reasuringly as I got up and pulled my tights and t shirt off, leaving me in a bright pink bra and bright purple underware.

Vic and Mike stared in horror at the multitude of bruises scattered around.
Vic reached his hand forward cautiously as he gently placed his hand on my right rib, over the deep dark bruise. The worst of them all, it reached over to my left rib and wrapped around my right side, ending just below my chest and came down almost to my belly button.

"You cannot live here anymore. C'mon lets go pack you some bags, youre living with us. We spent the next 40 minutes packing my bags and checking I left absolutely nothing, I was not coming back to this place. Once I had 5 large bags full of clothes, shoes, a few books, drawing pads and pencils, paint. Laptop, straighter, a whole lot of things. I also made sure to grab a few bundles of money from under Bruces bed that he hid. He owed me, its not exactly stealing.

We were finished by 3:15. Just before when Bruce got home.
"Come on, we have to hurry, we dont want to run into Bruce!" We all piled into the car and began to drive off, just as Bruce rounded the corner behind us.