How Long?

Louise woke up with a smile on her face, today was her big day. She yawed checking her messages most of her friends texted her saying they can’t wait to for the party this evening. Though she would never admit it to anyone she herself was mighty excited about the party tonight. Her reason was different from others. Harry was coming back from South Africa today minus Chelsy. She had got her birthday wish of spending her birthday with Harry.

She got up roaming around the house. There were bunch bouquets in the living room from relatives and friends. Smiling she read the cards and made a mental note to send all them a thank you note. She made her way to kitchen to get something to eat. There on the counter sat a big fat admissions envelope. She had heard the large and thin envelope theory but from where she was standing the envelope looked medium size. Gathering her wits she picked the envelope, seeing the Cambridge logo on it her heart started racing. She could feel the sweat forming on her forehead. She wanted someone to be with her when she opened the envelope. She fished her phone from her pocket and dialed Harry’s number but the phone went straight to voice mail. He must be in air by now, she cursed her luck.

She sat their staring at the envelope for another hour before she gathered enough courage to open it. Her heart hammered as the unfolded the piece of paper in her hand. Tears came to her eyes as she scanned the letter. She got rejected, after all the hard work she put into it, after all the sleepless nights, after missing out on her friends. A sob escaped her mouth and she buried her head in her hands.

She cried her eyes out most of the day. She knew there was a possibility that she would not get in especially after her disastrous meeting with the Arthur Grant but somewhere deep down she still had hope. She pulled herself together when she finally saw time. She had to get ready for her party which starts in less than an hour. She picked her phone again calling Harry, she desperately needed her friend. The phone again went to voice mail. Throwing her phone on the bed she went to ready for her party.

Louise was in a daze at the club, she tried to put on a brave front but inside she was still paining. She greeted her friends but her eyes were still looking for him. She needed him right now. He would know exactly what to say to make this right. He always did. Once, in his arms and she will be alright. After several hours when Harry didn’t showed up she left him a voice mail, telling him to call her as soon as he lands.

Louise was talking to Guy when Tom gave her his phone saying Harry was on the other side.

“Harry! Where are you?” Louise asked as she made her way outside away from the crowd.

“Lou, Happy Birthday. I am sorry babe but I am stuck here in Cape Town, I won’t be able to make it back tonight” He said.

“Don’t joke Harry, where are you? I need you” She said as tears filled her eyes once again.

“I am not joking Lou. I mi…My flight got canceled due to some… technical difficulty. I’ve been trying to get another flight for the last 6 hours plus my phone died. It was a nightmare but I finally got a flight; I am just about to board. It will take me another 13 hours to reach. I am so sorry Lou”

“But you promised” She said now her tears flowing freely.

Harry sighed on the other end. He could hear her pain and he felt like such an arse right now for missing out on her birthday. “I know Lou, I will make up to once I am back. I promise” He said.

“Don’t promise me a thing Harry” She said shutting the phone.

Wiping her tears Louise made her way inside. She knew she was being unreasonable, it’s not like he didn’t wanted to come but she was still upset and hurting.

“So the bugger is really not going to make it?” Guy asked.

“Yes” Louise said weakly.

“Chelsy told me he missed his flight, he is such a wanker. When you leave the house at the time of boarding it was going to happen” Tom said with a chuckle.

“I can’t believe he missed his flight” Guy said.

Louise stood there as the realization hit her. He had missed his flight and then he lied about it to her. She didn’t think she could feel any worse than she was already feeling but now she felt like balling her eyes out all over again. Trying to push Harry out of her mind, Louise snatched the drink out of Tom’s hand and drowned it in one go.

“Woah! Easy there, that was whiskey”

“I want to get hammered, Tom. It’s my fucking birthday” She said.

“Then let’s get you drunk” He said leading her to the bar.

Louise didn’t know how many tequila shots down she was but she was feeling somewhat better. The alcohol was surely helping her but she was still missing him. He lied to her and she still longed for him. She felt absolutely pathetic. She wanted to do something to completely forget about him. She looked around and found Jake on the other side of the bar. She made her way to him.

“Hey Louise, having fun?” He asked.

She didn’t say anything just leaned in and kissed him on the mouth. They make out for a long time.
When they broke apart, both of them were flushed with swollen lips.

Louise leaned in and whispered “Let’s get out of here”

His eyes met hers. “Are you sure?”

“Yes” She took his hand in hers and smiled. He was really handsome and sweet. There was nothing not
to like about him. In fact, she suddenly in her drunken state liked him more in fact needed him more than ever. She leaned it again and whispered, “Jake take me home”

Jake looked her in eyes and nodded.

They didn’t say any goodbyes they just left. She left her own party without even saying thank you to anyone.

They quickly got into his car and went to an apartment that his family owned in the city that no one uses. Once in the hallway, he turned and pulled her into him, pressing his lips to hers and sliding his tongue into her mouth. Louise kissed him back, hard. They fumbled down the hallway to the door nearly falling in the living room. He backed her against the wall, digging his fingers into her skin pulling her closer. Louise hands were in his hair and she pulled her mouth from his to catch her breath. She closed her eyes and felt his kisses on her neck, his hot breath was making her dizzy.

Somehow they made it to the bedroom.

“Bed?” He asked in between the kisses.

She nodded.

They got to the bed and he promptly rolled on top of her, kissing her neck.

“You sure you want do this?” He asked working his hand up her top.

“Yes, I do” She said unconvincingly.

He stopped and looked at her. He traced her lips with is index finger and then kissed her on the mouth. He kissed her ear, her neck, the soft skin inside her elbow, the center of her palm. His fingers slid under the waistband of her jeans and tried to wedge themselves beneath the elastic her underwear. Louise relaxed enough for it to feel good, then it did not feel good anymore and before she knew it was over.

---

After a very long shower, Louise bundled up in a robe and sat on her bed. Taking out her phone she saw that she had numerous calls from Jake. She didn’t want to talk to him not because he did something wrong. Jake was sweet, gentle and considerate but whatever happened between them tonight was consensual, it was just that she did it for all the wrong reasons. Typing him an apology for leaving while he slept she switched off her phone.

She never thought her first time will feel as bad as it did right at this moment. As tears slid down her cheeks, she wished she could forget this day ever happened but she knew she would never forget it. It was one of the worst days of her life. Not only her future plans were shattered with the rejection letter, her best friend whom she was in love with had repeatedly lied to her about the promises he never intended to keep in the first place. And as if all this was not enough, in her rage and misery she had done something so monumentally stupid which was bound to haunt her for the rest of her life. She had slept with someone she was not in love with. She cried herself to sleep that night.

---

“Louise! LOUISE!” Mark voice escalated from an angry whisper to a full on yell as he yanked the blankets off her “What the hell is wrong with you? You haven’t left your room in three days”

Louise was still in bed trying to sleep off the mess her life was. Images bubbled up through her consciousness like some kind of a nightmare: Her birthday party, Harry’s call, her lips on Jakes, the apartment, Jake hands unbuttoning her jeans.

“Mark, please go away please” Her voice cracked as a new patch of tears formed in her eyes.

Mark looked at his little sister. She had never looked so broken since the time of their mother’s death.
He sat next to her on the bed taking her hand in his.

“Lou, Mae found the rejection letter in the trash bin” He said. “We are all worried about you, sweetie.
Get out of bed, take a shower and eat something” He said untangling her hair.

“I don’t want to” She said as she through her arm over her face to hide the tears.

“I know you don’t but you have to. It’s not the end of the world” He said kissing her head.

“Mark” She said burying her head in his lap.

“Lou sweetie” He said brushing her hair with his hands. “We are so proud of you. You have achieved so
much in the last couple of years. If Cambridge doesn’t want you it’s their fucking loss. You obviously deserve better than those ignorant aresehole. If you want, as soon as Luke arrives we are going to kick that Mr. Gardner arse”

Louise looked up at her big brother with a small smile on her face “It’s Mr. Grant not Mr. Gardner”

“Who the fuck cares” He said throwing his arm in the air dismissively. “Now get your stinky butt off this bed and take a shower. Everyone has been calling non- stop. Jake has called a million times and so did Harry”

As soon as Mark said his name Louise heart sank.

“I don’t feel like talking to anyone” She said getting out of the bed.

“I figured that much, that’s why I told them you were down with flu”

“Thanks” She said.

“You freshen up I will meet you downstairs” He said leaving her sister.

----

Harry had been back for three days, still no word from Louise. Her phone was perpetually off and whenever he tried her home phone, Mark made an excuse on her behalf, stating she was down with flu. He knew in the pit of his stomach something was wrong because it’s been two days since the whole debacle of the Nazi uniform picture had happened. He knew it was stupid of him to wear it but someone from the group of people he trusted taken a photo of him in a Nazi uniform, at a costume party and had sold it to the papers. The media was going ape shit and his father had gone ballistic.

Still no call from Louise, not even a text.

There had been a public apology from the Clearance House on his behalf.

Still, no word from Louise.

He was in total lock down. Not allowed to go anywhere otherwise he would have knocked down Louise door by now. She was the only one who he needed right now. Even more than Chelsy, who was willing to fly down to be with him.

His father was staying the night at Camilla’s before going for tour out of country for a week. Harry had planned to sneak out at night. Guy was picking him up at mid night. Harry plan was to wait till eight in the morning and then go to Louise’s house. He had to see her. He knew she would be furious with him for missing her birthday but right now it didn’t matter, he needed to see her.

He picked up his phone and sent Louise another one of his apology text. He had been sending these every hour since he had been back but there hadn’t been a single reply.

Louise switched on her phone and it signaled her that there was another text; she knew it would be Harry again. He had been texting her non-stop but she couldn’t bring herself to even read a single text by him.

Jake had stopped by her house this morning. He had been worried sick and felt guilty about what had happened between them. He also wanted to get back together. After a long talk she had convinced him not to feel guilty because it was her who had initiated it and it was not his fault in any way. She also told him that he was an amazing guy and a great boyfriend but she didn’t see them being anything but good friends. She was relieved that she had this talk with him because she did really cherish his friendship and didn’t want to ruin it because of what she had done.

After Jake had left, Louise had been thinking about her feelings for Harry and how crazy she acted because of it. Her life was in a spiral because of it and she decided she needed to stop doing this to herself. So, she picked up her phone and went through all 45 messages that he had left her. They varied from apologies to angry rants to pleading. She cried reading each one of them. Wiping her tears away she made up her mind to be honest with Harry. She would tell him about her feelings. It didn’t matter anymore if he rejected her or not. It couldn’t get any worse than it already was.

---

Harry sat on the far corner away from the crowd at the club. He couldn’t believe that Guy had convinced him to come to a club when he was not even supposed to be out of the house. Sipping his drink he tried to be invisible with his beanie all the way down to his face.

He could hear the hush voices in which Guy was talking to Jake with, though he couldn’t make out what they were talking about.

“What are the two of them going on about?” Harry asked Tom, who was sitting next to him.

“They are talking about Louise’s party, I suppose. Everybody is talking about Louise party” Tom said with a chuckle.

Harry had been so busy with his shit that he had no idea what had happened in Louise party.

“What do you mean?”

Tom cocked his brow. Tom contemplated telling Harry about the events that took place at Louise party knowing how close he was to her.

“Louise went home with Jake that night” Tom said.

“Bullshit! Is that what this wanker has been telling everyone? I will fucking kill him” Harry said putting his drink down.

“No, he didn’t have to tell anyone anything Harry; we all saw them leaving together after they practically dry humped each other for half an hour”

Harry blinked not believing a word Tom was saying. He couldn’t. He knew Lou; she would never sleep with anyone unless she was in love with them. That’s what she had repeatedly told him since ever. Then it hit him like a brick of walls that maybe she was in love with Jake after all. They had been going out for almost a year before they broke up because she wanted to concentrate on school and now that her school was over… He also remembered the night he saw Jake and her at the Thomas’s birthday party.

He felt blinding rage at the moment. The images of Jake kissing her, touching her and most of all being with her flashed through his mind. The thought her being in love with Jake nearly made him delirious. It was too much for him to handle. He wanted to get out of here. He didn’t want to do something reckless which he knew he would do if he stayed. So, he called Albert and told him his whereabouts.

Albert was there within minutes and escorted Harry out of the club. Harry in his befuddlement didn’t even notice the slew of paparazzi that were outside the club. As soon as he stepped out of the club the flashing lights blinded him. His jaw clenched as he fisted his palms. He didn’t want to deal with this at the moment. He tried to keep his cool as paparazzi shoved his camera at his face.

“Hey mate, how is it going?” One of the pap said.

“Stay the fuck away from me” Harry said in a low menacing voice.

“Come on mate, how was your night? You are going to any more costume parties?” The pap said with a chuckle.

Harry lost it at the moment. He knew what he was about to do was so foolish that he will probably regret it in the morning but he couldn’t help it. He took a swing at the paparazzi, punching his him squarely on the face. He then grabbed his camera and smashed it on the pavement while he cursed at him on the top of his lung. Albert had to hold him by the waist and literally had to throw him in the car to make him stop.