Status: Comments and critique are much appreciated.

How Long?

Chapter 33

“No! I am not going and you can’t make me” Louise said as she tightened her grip on the edge of the kitchen sink.

Things got busy after Louise and Harry came back to London. Harry was busy with his pilot training and was home only on the weekends. Meanwhile, Louise was occupied with her paper. Whatever spare time she got, she spend helping Emma with the wedding planning. It was strange how close she felt to Emma in the last couple of weeks. They had bonded over their love for tea and books, both being massive fan of the Bronte sisters. They could sit for hours in a café and talk about Emma and Luke’s upcoming nuptials or their favorite book. The wedding date was a few months from now, just to accommodate Louise. She would have graduated by the time and would have moved back to London. The mere thought of the future scared her shitless.

But right now Harry and Louise were standing and arguing in the kitchen.

“Lou”

“I am not going”

Harry tried not to smile as he place a hand on Louise’s hips but failed miserably.

She went completely still.

“Get away from me” She said.

“If you don’t let go of the sink and get your ass in the car in next ten minutes I am going to have to carry you” He said, enjoying having his hand on her more than he should, but clearly she left him very little choice in the matter.

“You wouldn’t dare” She said through clenched teeth, glaring over her shoulder at him.

He squeezed her ass.

She gasped, jumping away from him and ran towards the door. “Bastard!” She yelled over her shoulder before throwing the door open and leaving.

Harry followed her at a leisurely pace. He stepped out of the flat, locking the door behind. He spotted her waiting for him in his car.

Bertie handed him the car keys and he climbed into the driver’s side and sent her a huge grin, knowing it would piss her off even more. Her eyes narrowed on him before she looked away.

“You’ll pay for this” She promised.

“Lou,..”

“Fuck yourself, you betraying asshole” She hissed.

He couldn’t help but chuckle. She looked cute when she over reacted like this. “It’s just dinner. It’s Mark’s birthday. Luke has called like seven times. Your father and Lily are not even going to be there. I don’t get why you’re behaving like a prat”

“I.Hate.You” She said.

“You love me” He said turning on the radio.

“Hate. I hate you”

“Okay” He said searching for a song of her liking, hoping it would calm her down.

Since morning when Luke had called asking for Louise and him to join her family and friends for Mark’s birthday tonight, Lou has been on edge. He wasn’t sure if she was pissed because Luke had called him after she refused to RSVP or because he insisted on going. She yelled at him and threatened to move out.

It only got worse after that.

First, she refused to have lunch with him and then she deliberately put olives in the pasta knowing very well he hated olives. He finally had to order a pizza for himself. He had not planned on pushing her but by the end of the day he was so pissed that he decided she was going to this birthday dinner. Then she barricaded herself in her room, he broke into her room. It was his flat, he had the key.

“Are you still mad at me?” He asked as he turned into the parking lot of the restaurant where her family was dinning tonight.

Louise sighed heavily, shifting to look at him. “No, I just don’t want to do this”

“Really? I couldn’t have guessed” He said.

“I am really sorry for acting like…”

“A prat”

“Yeah, that” She said giving him a small smile.

“Welcome, My name is Julie, how can I help you?” The women asked them both as her eyes widened
when she realized that Royalty was standing in front of her.

He looked at Louise, wondering if she saw the look. He smiled when he caught her gazing at the exit sign on the other corner.

“It won’t be that bad” He said taking her hand into his, mostly to keep her from bolting.

“Yes, it will”

Harry turned to the woman and smiled. “We’re joining the Tomlinson party” He said tightening his grip on Louise’s hand.

“Right this way, sir” the woman said with a smile.

“Let’s go” Harry said as they followed the woman through a richly furnished sitting room.

Louise dared a peek behind Harry’s back and nearly cried in frustration when she was that the table was filled with her brothers, Emma, a girl in blue which would be Mark’s date, some family and friends. Then a pair of eyes that she was all too familiar with met hers. She sent him a polite smile and did her best to ignore the determined glare he sent her way.

“I don’t have present” Louise said as they continued to follow through the aisles to their destination.

“He is your brother, he won’t care” Harry said.

“True, but you don’t have a present as well” She said giving him a smirk.

“I’ll buy him a drink later” Harry said shrugging his shoulders.

“Mr. Tomlinson, the rest of your party has arrived” Julie said smiling politely as she stopped in front
of a large round table.

“Thank You” Harry said.

“Louise” Mark said as he stood up. His eyes shifted to Harry and they shared a quick nod before he pulled her into a hug and gave her a quick kiss on her cheeks. “It’s been too long” The whole thing was awkward.

Louise barely stopped herself from suggesting that he could pick up the telephone and called her, but she bit back and smiled. “Happy Birthday, Mark”

Then Mark shook hands with Harry. “Thanks for coming”

“And bringing Lou” Luke said giving Harry a pat on the back followed by a quick hug and kisses to
Louise.

They got seated; Louise found a place between Harry and Emma.

“Harry, this is Emma. I am not sure if you’ve met her before” Louise said gesturing to Emma. Emma gave Harry a dazzling smile and offered her hand to him.

“I haven’t but Lou talks about you so much, it feels like I already know you” Harry said taking her hand gently and shaking it.

“That’s good to know because I feel the same way” Emma said.

“You’ve been keeping her busy these days. She hardly has any time to talk to me” Harry said.

Louise frowned and rolled her eyes at that. She has been too tired after coming back from the center, working on her paper and then doing some late evening shopping with Emma to talk to Harry at night. She was glad they were not seeing much of each other these days. She liked to keep it that way till she lived with him. Harry being too close to her was freaking her out, especially after their little holiday.

“So, what are you up to?” Mark asked in a chipped voice. He was being cold. He didn’t even introduce her to his date. Not that she cared, knowing Mark she was unlikely to see this female ever again.

“Just working on my thesis” Louise said taking a sip of her wine.

“Have you started looking for a flat or are you and your boyfriend plan to live with his father once you move back?” Mark asked chuckling to himself.

“I am helping her looking for an apartment. That’s the least I could do after she had been such a godsend” Emma interrupted.

“You still plan to live together with that bugger?” Mark asked, ignoring what Emma had just said.

Louise took a deep breath putting her wine glass down. “Not that it’s any of your business but no, I am not. I and Max are taking a break at the moment”

“What? When did that happen?” Luke asked clearly concerned.

“You were going to move in with him?” Harry asked under his breath.

Ignoring Harry’s question, Louise looked at her older brother “Not too long ago. It’s no big deal; I don’t want to talk about it”

There was silence at the table. Louise could fell everyone eyes on her.

“I am sure I can think of several men who would be interested in taking you out” Her cousin Maggie suggested.

“Thank you Maggie, but I am not looking for anybody at the moment” Louise said.

The table fell silent again; the only sound that could be heard was cutlery being placed by the waiters. Slowly as the dinner continued the conversation started again. Maggie and Emma were talking about the upcoming wedding. Mark was telling his date about his recent family trip to Spain. Harry got busy talking polo with Charlie, one of Mark’s polo buddies. Luke was in a deep conversation with her cousin Edward telling him about the expansion they were doing in Argentina because of which her father and Lily were absent from this shindig.

Sitting there Louise felt so out of the loop with family. Hearing stories about the Spain trip or the expansion of family business, it seemed like her family didn’t even cared that she wasn’t part of their lives anymore. She should just leave. It was obvious that Mark didn’t really want her here. Plus, she really didn’t want to sit here when everyone has something to talk about except her.

As soon as the waiters cleared the table for dessert, Harry and Louise both looked at each other. Harry grinned and leaned in and whispered “Let’s get out of here”

He really was her best mate. Louise made some excuse about having an early day tomorrow, said her goodbyes and then they were on their way to freedom.

---

Once back home, Louise went for a quick shower she pulled on a camisole and shorts. Yawning, she walked back into her room and wasn’t really surprised to find Harry on his stomach wearing nothing but his boxers, in the middle of her bed. This wasn’t the first time this had happened in the last few weeks. It happened almost every weekend. Louise ran out of excuses by now. As hard she tried to keep distance between her and Harry, it seemed that Harry tried equally hard to push it. Giving a defeated sigh, she switched off the lights and crawled in bed, maintaining some space between them. They didn’t say anything and soon they drifted to sleep.

Louise woke up in the early morning by the sound of her phone. She found her face on Harry’s shoulder while her hand rested on his other shoulder and her leg was entwined with his. He was sleeping peacefully, his chest raising and falling in rhythm. Louise knew they have to stop doing this. This was getting ridiculous by the day.

Carefully she entangled herself from his body and reached for her phone. She was surprised to see Max’s name flashing on the screen. Quietly she left the room and picked up the call. London was eight hours ahead of San Francisco, which meant it was way past midnight there.

“Lulu” She heard him. “Are you there?”

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she finally willed herself to talk “Max”.

“I was not sure you would take the call” He said. She could tell he had been drinking, she could hear the slight slur in his voice. There was also pain in his voice.

“Are you okay, Max?” She asked.

“No, I am… not okay” He said. “I was at a office party tonight. There was this girl there. I’ve seen her around the office; she is nice, tall, beautiful really. We started talking. I could tell she was
interested…. I went back to her place” He said.

Louise stopped breathing, it felt like someone punched her in the gut. She knew her and Max’s relationship was over but it still stung like a bitch to hear those words.

“I’ve been so miserable lately; I thought it was the right thing to do, to move on….She had a nice flat, we were snogging, fooling around. We went to her bedroom, she had red sheets. I took off her dress” He was rambling. “And then… I couldn’t… I couldn’t do it. It felt wrong… like I was… cheating on you” Louise could tell he was silently crying on the other end, her own tears were falling by now.
“I miss you. I miss you so much. I am so angry. At you, at myself, I shouldn’t be calling you but I just really wanted to talk”

“I miss you too, Max. I am sorry. I am so so sorry”

“I fell in love with you the moment I saw you singing in that café, did I ever tell you that”

“No, you didn’t”

“It took me a year to convince you to go out with me. When you said yes I thought, ‘that’s it, I am done. This is the girl I am going to marry’”

“Max” She whispered, it was too difficult to hear.

“I could see you slipping through my fingers day by day and I just couldn’t do it anymore, Lulu. Now,
I can’t believe we are over. I can’t believe I’ve lost you, Lulu” His voice cracked at the end.

“Max, you haven’t, not really. Maybe we can pick up where we left off after we move back to London, see how things go” Louise said, hearing him like this was breaking her heart.

“I am not moving back to London anymore, Lulu” Max said composing himself. “They offered me a full time job here; it’s a great opportunity for me. I am staying” He said.

“Oh”

“I don’t want to lose you. We were friend before, maybe we can start from there and find our way back to each other. I’ll be coming to LA for the graduation week. I would love to see you then. Maybe we could figure something out…”

“Yes, I would love to do that”

They talked for another half an hour. Catching up on what’s been happening in each other’s life. It was odd talking to him like this after what seemed like ages. The last few months of their relationship were filled with arguments and fights. But now talking to him came so naturally to Louise, talking to Max has always been easy. She did like that he wanted to maybe try being friends first and see if they could be anymore than that. Max had been her savior when she first moved to LA all those years ago. He had saved her from herself and for that and everything else he had done; he held had a very special place in her heart. She didn’t want to lose him. He had been a huge part of her life for the last four years and she cherished every memory they created together.

On her way to the NSPCC center, thoughts of reason behind the end of her and Max’s relationship plagued Louise’s mind. As much as she tried to deny it, the truth was that things between her and Max had started going downhill after she and Harry had reconciled. She didn’t blame Harry for what had happened to her relationship but it was her own feelings for Harry that has caused her to neglect her relationship. The realization that she would always put Harry first even after being in a committed relationship made Louise feels like a crappy person. She knew things between her and Max was unlikely to get better. He had taken up a job in San Francisco permanently and long distance relationship will not be something both of them were comfortable with even when she was staying in LA.

But this thing with Harry, whatever this thing was, she surely didn’t have a name for it, had to stop. She had to separate herself from him. She had already put a stop to everyday late night calls pretending to be knackered with work. These weekend sleepovers needed to stop and so did any flirting and inappropriate touching. If she ever wishes to have a steady relationship with anyone, this thing with Harry needed to stop.

----

Harry was in a very bad mood, he had been home for the weekend and had plans to take Louise out as she had been so busy these days. She never had any time for him anymore. He was home only for two days a week and even then her calendar would already be booked with her thesis work or plans with Emma and now she was even taking up organizing the fund raiser for the center. Sometimes he got a feeling that she was avoiding spending time with him and that frustrated him to no end. On more than one occasion she had bailed on him at the very last moment in the past month. Always ready with an excuse. She had even started locking up her room at night, which had put an end to their cuddling sessions and sleepovers. On days when Harry had proactively barged into her room before she had a chance to lock it, he had woken up alone in the morning.

She was in London for another two weeks. She would then be flying back to LA to complete her semester and graduate. Harry got a bitter sweet feeling about the impending separation. On one hand, he had gotten so use to seeing her around and would miss her terribly. On the other hand, this was the last time she was going to LA. This is going to be their last farewell.

But as he sat alone in his empty flat reading Lou’s text for the fifth time, a surge of anger erupted within him.

Louise:: Hey, I won’t be coming home tonight. Luke is out of town for a polo match and I’ll be staying the night with Emma. Will see you tomorrow, have fun with the lads.

This was ludicrous, he had tried talking to her in the past, trying to get at the bottom of the reasons behind her behavior but to cancel on him again was just not done. She was going through a lot with her family and friends, he knew, but he wanted to be there for her, that was the reason he had made special provisions to come home for the weekends which were not something army granted easily at the time of training. He hated pulling the prince card but Louise was important to him and seeing her every weekend eased his mind and he was able to perform better.

But this behavior of hers was not something he appreciated; he was going to great lengths to spend some quality with her, granted she was not aware of his efforts. He had been upset when he heard that she was flat hunting with Emma instead of him. He tried not to take it personally, knowing he was not available for such a task but she hadn’t even once asked for his help. He might not be available to check the places out with her but with his connection he would have been able to help her.

She was taking him for granted by putting everything before him which was not sitting well with him. The more he thought about her recent behavior, the angrier he got. He decided enough was enough, his fingers itched to send a fuming reply but he restrained himself from doing it.

---

Louise arrived at the apartment after lunch. Harry was sitting alone watching telly, he didn’t even acknowledged her presence. He was pissed at her; she could make that out from the lack to reply she got from him last night. Emma had invited her to stay the night and Louise had jumped at the chance, she was getting tiered coming up with excuses to avoid the weekend sleepovers. She had been quite successful at avoiding Harry in last few weeks but she knew the whole thing was pissing him off. He had been temperamental and irritable. He even snapped at her a couple of time for canceling their plans. And, now he was giving her the silent treatment.

Pretending, she hadn’t noticed his bitter mood, she gingerly sat next to him, placing her bag and phone between them. He stared straight ahead, looking the telly not glancing at her once. They sat there in silence but there was nothing comfortable about it. The room was filled with tension, Louise just wanted to run to her room and hide. They hadn’t had a go at each other since the last blow out years ago. After they had reconciled Harry had been patient with her but his temper was still there and she might have pushed him enough for it to erupt.

The shrill sound of Louise’s phone broke their silence. Both Harry and Louise’s eyes landed on the phone’s screen at the same time, alerting a message from Max. Harry looked up at Louise, his jaw clenched. An array of emotions flashed on his face from anger to betrayal but Louise didn’t flinch, she looked back at him without showing any emotions.

“Since when has he been texting you?” Harry finally asked. His voice was icy cold.

“Since the time we talked some things over” Louise said.

“How long ago was that?” Harry asked trying to keep his anger at bay.

She did not like the tone of his voice or the questions he was asking. “Not that it is any of your business, but he called a few weeks ago and we talked”

“Talked? What does that mean?” He asked.

“Exactly that. We talked and things are better now” Louise said picking up her bag.

“You dare not walk away from me right now, Louise Tomlinson” He said in a low menacing voice,
which stopped her dead in her tracks. “I’ve been taking a lot crap from you for the past month, I need some fucking answers”

“I don’t want to talk to you when you’re like this” She said backing away slowly.

“When exactly do you want to talk to me? Because I’ve been sitting here waiting for it to happen for a month now”

“If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been busy”

“You know what, you’re right. Let’s not do this right now” He said switching off the telly. He walked across to the table and picked up his car keys.

“Where are you going?” Louise asked. “Harry, I am talking to you” She said following him to the door.

“We’ve plans for dinner with the lads”

That finally made him stop at the door, he turned around, holding the door open, looking straight in her eyes. “No, we don’t. You have plans for dinner with the lads, I am leaving”

“Don’t do this, please” Louise pleaded.

“Why not? You’ve been doing it for an entire month and I can’t do the same thing for one night. At least, I have the guts to say it on your face that I am not coming with you than making a lame excuse over the phone”

She bit her bottom lip. She did this to herself. She had pushed him too far and he had every right to be angry.

“I am sor…” And even before she could finish the sentence he had banged the door and felt.

---

Louise took a breath and said “I am engaged”

“Engaged?” Said the obnoxious guy who’d been sniffing around her in line for the past ten minutes.
She bit back a laugh. They guy looked truly gutted. She hated lying, mostly because she obviously wasn’t engaged, far from it but it was the first thing that popped into her head, maybe because she was spending too much with Emma. If he would have been nice and subtle about checking her out she would have politely declined, but no, he had to ogle at her breasts.

It was truly sad, especially since she was at a coffee shop and it was barely half past seven in the morning. Between creepers and no sleep she needed her morning tea or she was pretty sure she would die.

After Harry had stormed out Louise had stayed up all night waiting for him but he never turned up. She had finally realized he wasn’t coming at three in the morning and went to bed. With barely four hours of sleep, she felt like death.

She hadn’t realized how awkward things were between Harry and her. Awkward might be the wrong word, it was strange, different, strained. Harry still could be a pain in the ass, a really nice pain in the ass. But she had to stick to her plan. She, with a lot of efforts had stopped the flirting with him. After momentary lapse of judgment at Seychelles Islands on that gorgeous morning, she had told herself not anymore but it had still happened. After talking to Max she knew, she had to keep her distance from Harry, literally and figuratively. Not taking his late night calls from the army base had been as difficult for her as it has been for him. Her body ached for their sleepovers. She so desperately wanted to cuddle with him while watching a movie that it physically pained her. All of this hasn’t been easy for her too.

Harry being Harry had frowned and thrown tantrums and called her out on her “weird behavior” but she had to be resilient, for the betterment of the future. And there were times when she had slipped, there incidents when she had welcomed his embrace and got carried away in process.

All these feelings that were creeping up again, this almost sexual tension between them, flirting with Harry, all of this was messing up with her head again. She wasn’t even sure what her relationship status with Max was at the moment. They were talking via texts again, it was easy but they were still on a break. She didn’t want to go on that dark road with Harry again. She was burned once and that had been enough for a lifetime. She had been so alone when she first moved to LA, so isolated from her friends and family. Speaking of family, she hadn’t contacted her father since she had been back from Africa, which has been over a month ago. Nor have Mark reached out to her after his birthday. The only Tomlinson that she was talking to was Luke.

Taking her order she went back to her table where Emma waited for her. Louise had a meeting planned with Mrs. Hadley later that morning; she didn’t wanted to be late for it, so she had made plans with Emma early morning.

Looking at Louise’s expression, Emma gave her a sympathetic smile. Louise had to talk to someone, she had to vomit out her thoughts, and otherwise she feared she might go crazy. Confessing to Emma should be easy. Emma really was turning out to be like a sister to her, an older, wiser sister.
Louise tried to explain her situation to Emma but Emma shook her head and gave her a confused look.

“I still don’t understand your problem” Emma said.

Louise scowled “What’s not to understand? Somehow, someway I am having these feelings towards
Harry… I can’t really explain them in words”

“That sounds…?” Emma said. After a short pause Emma asked. “What is going on exactly? I thought you and Harry were just mates”

“We are! It’s just that…” Louise sighed as she fiddled with her cup of tea. “He is not dating anyone.
He doesn’t even show interest in someone except for teasing me. When we’re out together he sends women away telling them he’s with someone”

“Well, that sweet of…

“When any male approaches me, I mean any male even Tom for that matter. He throws his arms
around me and gives them a death stare. Last week we had some lads over and Arthur stood too close to me and Harry got into a shouting match with him”

“He’s just being protective…”

“He treats me like… not like before. Something is different. I can’t explain!” She said throwing her arms.

Before Emma could say something

“He’s always touching me and cuddling. We sometimes… sleep in the same bed. No, not like that, just sleeping”

“And you don’t like any of this” Emma asked concerned.

“Like it? I love it!” Louise said rubbing her hands over her face. “I love every single moment of it, Em. But I can’t do this with him”

“You don’t want to date him?”

“He doesn’t want to date me” Louise said with a sad smile.

“How do you know that?”

“I’ve been here before, believe it or not. I should have learned from my mistakes. God, I can’t stop thinking about him and having him so close but not really close enough is fucking with my brains. I am so fucking pathetic” She mumbled sadly.

“Does he know? Have you talked to him about your feelings?”

“No! If he did he’d step back. He doesn’t want me like that. He wants a mate, his best mate. He and William have treated me like a sister all their lives. This will get really messy real fast”

“Doesn’t sound that way to me”

“Trust me. I know him since we were in diapers. Henry Charles Albert David is not interested in me. He has never been interested in me and it will never happen in the future”

“Well it won’t if you don’t give him a chance” Emma reached over and took her hand. “You’re in love with him aren’t you? That’s why you broke up with your boyfriend”

Suddenly tear threatened to come out of Louise’s eyes. She wiped her eyes and mentally screamed at them to stop it. “Let’s talk about something else”

“Fine” Emma sighed. She stirred her coffee and looked around the café. “There are a lot of cute guys here today”

Louise followed her gaze and absentmindedly nodded in agreement. There were a lot of cute looking guys in business suits but Louise was too distracted to notice anyone really. In her mind she was thinking, she and Harry should have never slept in the same bed. The fact that she didn’t want any other man but Harry holding her didn’t help.

Louise inwardly groaned. She dropped her head on the top of the table with a bang. “This can’t be happening to me again. I can’t be in love with him. It messed up my life once. It messed up our relationship once. I can’t go through that again. Not when we are finally in a good place”

“Hey, Louise” Emma said gently, Louise looked up. “Harry and you have been friends forever and by the looks of it, it’s as important to him as it is to you. I am right?”

Louise nodded.

“If you tell him about your feeling the worst that could happen is what? He might not feel the same way. At least with, you can move on. You both mean too much to each other to let this friendship die. And if he feels the same way…”

“Don’t” Louise said stopping her. “I don’t want to think about that”

“If he does feel the same way about you, Louise” Emma continued, ignoring her protest. “Then wouldn’t all the things you’ve been through be worth it”

For a brief second, just for a tinniest of second Louise entertained the thought of Harry feeling the same way about her but soon she brushed those thoughts away.

“There is nothing to lose here, Louise” Emma said raising her cup to her lips. “But there might be a lot to gain, just think about it” Emma said from behind the rim of her cup with a knowing glimmer in her eyes.
♠ ♠ ♠
Mark's Birthday Dinner Outfit
Cafe Outfit

Soundtrack - Colbie Caillat - Realize

The next chapter is going to going to be sort of HUGE. I don't mean the size (that can happen too) but what i mean that pretty EPIC shit is gonna go down. What are your feelings so far? What do want next to happen? Do let me know.

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