Instincts

Of course that was only a thought.

“Will you listen to something for me? It’s just one of the songs that’s going to be on the new album, no big deal.” It was a huge deal to him.

“Sure. Just let me finish your hair.” She didn’t like using hot things on people’s heads and not being able to hear them.

They didn’t speak through the rest of the style.

She just dried his hair and kinda straightened his hair but not too straight. She knew he wasn’t crazy about his hair about his hair being too straight.

She was about to do his make-up.

“So what did ya want me to listen to?” She figured that she’d be done by the end of the song anyways.

He pulled an iPod out of the pocket of his tight black jeans, found the song and handed her the headphones.

She slid them in and grabbed the foundation to start and he hit play.

She was already into his make-up by the time she heard,
You were the only face I’d ever known
I was the light from the lamp on the floor

His voice was so beautiful.
His words though were painful.
It was a love song, well a lost love song.

I am no gentlemen, I can be a prick
He was owning up to the shit he’d done.

Back to the same place I sat with you drink for drink
That was talking about when they first started dating.

Take the pain out of love and love won’t exist

He wrote this about her and she knew it.

She was near tears but just tried to hold it together to finish his make-up.

She almost couldn’t do it. She could hear the pain residing in those words, the pain that came from his heart. She knew the pain he was singing about, because she felt it too.

She’d finished just in time to hear,
I’ll be with you where ever you go
Through the eyes of a fly on the wall

She couldn’t take it. She dropped the make-up back into the case, tore the headphones out of her ears and darted off in the direction of the bathroom so he wouldn’t see her cry.

“Crissy!” William called after her.

She was already locking herself in the bathroom by the time he stood up.

“What the hell did you do this time?” Mike almost shouted at William.

“I let her listen to Everything We Had.” He didn’t say anything else, just stared at the door like it would disappear under his gaze.

“Oh.” Mike’s voice dropped.

“She still loves you Bill.” Chislett said walking over to join the conversation. “I hardly know the girl and I know that.” Chislett was far more intelligent than he usually gives himself credit for.

“The breakup is still killing her man. Notice she hasn’t had a boyfriend since you.” Butcher added.

“She hasn’t?” William was surprised.

“I asked while she was doing my make-up and she said she was ‘Too busy.’ But you know how well she owns up to her feelings.” They all knew her too well.

“Go talk to her man. Here’s a quarter stick it in the lock and turn. It’s one of those cheap locks.” Sisky handed him the coin.

William did as Sisky advised but knocked first.

“Criss are you decent?”

He knew she wouldn’t answer if she was but if she wasn’t she’d be shouting.

She didn’t respond.

He put the coin right in and turned the lock to let himself in.

He walked in and saw her just sitting in the shower, head down just bawling.

He sat down next to her regardless of the fact that the floor was still wet.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulled her close.

Her tear stained face peered up to him.

“William?” Her voice was weak. “Is everything we had really gone?” That thought cut her to the bone. The idea that everything was over.

“It’s never quite over.” He said only because he was unsure of how else to answer the question.

She just dropped her head to his chest and continued to sob.

He ran his hand through her hair and held her there being as comforting as he could be. Wanting more than anything to kiss her tears away rather than just holding her.

He started to sing quietly to her.

Though not the song that started this mess.

Another song, one that didn’t even make it to the real pressing of the CD, but he loved it just the same.

Soft light total silence

This wasn’t happy love song either but it was about her just the same.
It says the same thing he just told her.

It’s never quite over

“I’m sorry Crissy.” He whispered and kissed her on the top of her head.

She didn’t move or speak so he just stayed.

He didn’t care about time he just loved that she was back in his arms.

Even with the years away and out of each other’s arms, this felt more right than anything else.

Crissy knew it too.

Someone knocked.

“Bill it’s time to start.” One of the guys called from the other side of the door.

“Go shine Beckett. It’s what you do best.” She said slowly releasing him from her grip.

She wiped her eyes as he moved.

He moved, not because he wanted to, but because he had to.

He couldn’t think of the proper words to say to her.

He helped her to her feet and kissed the top of her head gently.

He walked out the door leaving Crissy to her thoughts.

“Can I do this again?”
“Am I prepared to walk down that road with him again?”
“Run.”