Say Those Three Little Words

“Hey Oli, you ready to go?” Josh called from the living room.

Oli finished buttoning up the last few buttons on his dress shirt and, with a sigh, left the comfort of Josh's room. He followed the teenager out the front door, nervous as hell and ready for the day to be over with.

It had been three weeks since talking to the police. Ian was put on trial for manslaughter and attempted murder in the second degree, and the jury found him guilty of both counts. The judge sentenced him to serve 35 years in the county jail. When he gets out, he has to go back to England and never return.

During the entire trial, Ian’s eyes were locked on his son. When Oli went up to testify, his eyes hardened and a scowl appeared on his face. The 22 year old tried to ignore it, but his eyes kept drawing back to the cold and distant pupils.

He briefly wondered what the real breaking point for his father was as he recounted the events. Childhood memories kept coming back to him, and although the family never had a good relationship to begin with, he had never thought it would end up like this.

The story got mass media attention; reporters commenting that it was the first major and scandalous story Exeter has gotten in a decade. The neighbors that used to give Oli dirty looks as he walked down the street arrived at the Mansfield residence a few days after the trial was over, apologizing profusely and giving Oli homemade food as reparations.

Oli was instantly turned from the tattooed, devil-worshiping freak to Exeter’s strongest and most misunderstood adult. He became sort of a mini celebrity in the community, and the 22 year old wasn't sure if he liked all the attention that was garnered from it.

He hasn’t returned to his home since the day his mother was killed. It has gotten easier to cope with her death, but Oli was scared that if he stepped back into the house, he’d be back at square one. He remembered their last conversation before his father's arrival, their last meal together, and he thanked his lucky stars that it ended on a good note.

Josh opened the door to the family’s Malibu and climbed in. He slid to the far side and patted the space next to him. Oli chuckled and got in the car.

“So, it’s finally over.” Josh breathed when the car began pulling out of the driveway. He leaned over and laid his head on Oli’s shoulder. “How do you feel?”

“Relieved… weird.” He sighed. “Mostly weird. It’s strange to me how just a month ago everything was perfectly fine, and now my mum’s dead and my dad’s in jail.”

“Yeah… it’s a lot to take in.” Josh whispered. “It’s how I felt when I found out about my parents’ death.”

Oli smiled sadly at Josh and readjusted his shirt. He turned his head to gaze out the window. The family was on their way to Providence to visit relatives, it being a yearly tradition for Harvey Mansfield to visit his parents on the day his mother officially beat cervical cancer.

Besides celebrating the rare yet wonderful news, Harvey was also excited to finally introduce the person who had changed Josh for the best. The person in question, however, was beyond nervous.

Oli readjusted his shirt again, cursing the itchy fabric. He really didn’t want to meet the older generation of Mansfields. It wasn’t because they were horrible people, honestly they sounded like saints, but because Oli was never good with strangers.

Even the best of people get taken back by the mess of tattoos littering his skin. He hoped it would go well, but didn’t put much faith into it.



“So, you are Josh’s first romance?” Alexander Mansfield said, his lips stuck around a small, black pipe. He lit it and raised a single eyebrow in Oli’s direction.

After the standard greetings had passed, Harvey presented Oli, who was standing in a darkened corner out of everyone’s way, like he was showing off the Rosetta Stone. His pride was blatant obvious, and that same pride translated into awe on the 70 year old couple’s faces.

They didn’t seem to mind all the tattoos, and didn’t even blink when Oli had blushed and shyly took Josh’s hand. Now Josh was the one doing the blushing, attempting to hide his face underneath his hair.

“Y-Yes, sir.” Oli said, peeking over at his boyfriend.

They only talked about their relationship a couple times since the day they got together, with the 22 year old doing most of the talking. Oli wasn’t exactly sure how Josh felt about him. Every time he brought up his own feelings, Josh usually shut down with a pained look in his eyes, muttering a quick ‘thank you’ before moving on.

It was irritating to the older man, and he didn’t know if it was because of issues in his past or maybe because Josh doesn’t feel the same way.

Whenever the second thought passes through his head, Oli feels like flaming arrows fly into his chest and tear up his inner organs, leaving nothing in its wake. He cares so much about the kid, perhaps might even love him, and Josh not returning it is one of the worst things he could ever think of.

“Harvey talks highly of you.” Alexander said. “Said that whenever you are around, Josh gets this magnificent smile on his face, one that he has never seen before.” He chuckled, leaning over to grasp his wife’s hand. Bela Mansfield smiled and looked at her husband lovingly. “Kind of reminds me of when I first met this little lady.”

Bela chuckled, placing her other hand on top of their enjoined ones. Her lips were turned up in an ever present smile, and it was obvious just how much she cared for the man beside her. In the past, Oli would’ve thought it was sweet to the point that would induce vomiting.

But then he met Josh and found himself doing and feeling the same.

“Speaking of grandma,” Josh said, hoping to divert the attention away from relationships. Oli’s heart fell when he saw how uncomfortable he was. “How are you?”

“Oh, I am doing just fine, dear.” Bela said, breaking her eyes away from Alexander to look over her grandson. “My, how you have grown in the past year! Already 18. Time sure flies, does it not?”

“It sure does.” Harvey chuckled. “Did the cancer stay away?”

“Yes.” Alexander said. He took a puff from his pipe and blew out a ring of smoke. Everyone watched it rise to the ceiling and disappear. “Although it seemed like it was coming back a few months ago, but it ended up just being another health problem I do not feel comfortable discussing.”

“Were you scared?” Oli asked, hesitant. Bela smiled warmly at him. “Were you scared that she would… you know, die.”

“As scared as I should be.” He replied. “Of course I did not want her to leave, but I knew we would be reunited eventually… and sometimes that thought can be the best therapy.”

“W-What do you mean?”

Alexander set the pipe in a nearby ashtray and leaned back. He studied Oli, the latter readjusting his shirt for the eighth time that day, and smiled. “Son, what do you think happens after we die?”

“We just… die.” Oli said, shrugging. “That’s it.”

“My wife and I, we are adherents of the Christian faith, meaning we believe that our souls go to either two places when we die: Heaven, or Hell.”

“And because of our belief and trust in the Lord,” Bela added, “We are both promised everlasting life in the Heavenly realm. So although we die, we’re never technically apart.”

Oli fell silent, looking between the two faces thoughtfully. He remembered, years ago, when his mother tried to get him to go to church with her, to try and get to know her Savior. He refused, his mind not being able to believe in a higher being.

“Oli, I know this is something you don’t understand,” His mother had said one afternoon when he was 17. “But putting all my trust in God changed my life for the better. I stopped a lot of filthy habits, I found something that gave me hope each day, and I found out how to be a better mother for you.”

“You did that yourself. No ‘God’ helped you. He doesn’t exist.” Oli had replied, rolling his eyes.

“I’m sorry you feel that way.” She said sadly. “I hope you’d be able to experience the same joy I feel… someday. Maybe not from God, maybe from something else. I just found my calling, I suppose.”

He thought about how he blew her off all those years. Thought about how it was silly that she left every Sunday morning and Wednesday afternoon to attend a church service. Now, although he would never be able to explain how, her faith is what’s making everything easier for him to handle.

He looked over at the eldest of the Mansfields. They were engaged in conversation with the rest of the family, having long forgotten their talk about their faith. They smiled politely at him. Oli returned the gesture, stuck in his self revelation.

If there is a Heaven, he’s positive that she’s there. She’s free from her pain. She’s happy , so why can't he be too?