Say Those Three Little Words

The store was only a few blocks away and Josh had the basic idea of what to get, so the trip only took about half an hour. The teenager was halfway home, a bag of groceries clutched against his chest, when he heard what sounded like a hiss and the calling of his name.

He paused. Out of the corner of his eye, a dark shadow emerged from the alley nearby. Josh turned, startled to see Abigal standing a few feet away. She looked better than when he last saw her about a month ago; her skin had returned to a regular color, her arms and legs weren’t as frail as they were before, and there was a real smile on her face.

“Hello, Josh.” She said, beckoning him over with a single finger. Josh hesitated, clutching the bag tighter. “I’m not gonna hurt you. I just want to talk and I can’t risk being seen.”

He shot her a confused glance, but walked over to where she stood, shifting the bag to his other arm. Her smile widened. “Hey. I haven’t seen you in awhile.”

“No,” Josh said. “Where have you been?”

Abigal rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “My parents thought I had a problem and sent me to the hospital. The people there literally forced food down my throat until I got better enough to leave. Of course, I couldn’t go home. No, I had to go to a freaking mental institution.”

“Well… I can see it did you some good.”

She looked at him with an even gaze and scoffed. “Yeah, I guess.”

They fell silent. Josh shifted the bag again and looked around. The night was quiet, murmurs of people passing by or a gust of wind being the only sounds that broke the silence. He stared at his shoes and looked back up at Abigal. Well this isn't awkward. “So why can’t you be seen?”

“It’s a long story.” She glanced at him and bit her lip. “Look, I have a confession to make. I kinda, sorta, have a crush on you…”

“Oh.” He shrugged. “Well… I’m sorry. I’m not available.”

“But I could change that.” Abigal quickly responded. She smiled and stepped closer. On instinct Josh stepped back and the two teenagers engaged in the little dance that ended up with Josh pressed against the wall. “C’mon, I can do so much more for you than that little cretin.”

“Don’t talk about Oli that way.” Josh said, squinting his eyes. “You don’t know him. Not at all. Not the way I do.”

“Oh, Josh. Poor, naive, brainwashed Josh.” She laughed softly, bringing a hand up to lightly touch his cheek. He tensed. “You really believe that he’s a sweet guy? Well he’s not. I know his kind and they’re all the same.”

“What are you talking about?”

She didn't answer right away. Her eyes gazed over Josh’s body, lingering a bit on the zipper of his jeans. Josh shifted uncomfortably and coaxed her to look up by repeating his question.

“Y’know, I was happy once.” Abigal said instead, pushing her hand into his hair. A noticeable shudder went through his body, and it wasn’t from pleasure. “I had a boyfriend who loved me, who always made me feel special, who was there for me… and then, he changed. I guess he saw some slut on his friend’s arm and decided that I wasn’t good enough for him.”

She scoffed and crossed her arms. Josh peeled himself from the wall, forcing her to step back. “He went psycho. He made me eat certain portions of food, and if I ate more than that, he punished me… they were small portions too. Imagine going from eating a whole pizza by yourself one day and, the next, you’re only allowed to have a handful of vegetables and some overcooked chicken that couldn’t even satisfy a toddler. ”

She lifted up her shirt. In the dim light, Josh could see a faint row of bruises along her side. He gasped. “Yeah, these? The so called ‘love of my life’ gave these to me. He told me I was fat and ugly. He told me that he could’ve had any girl he wanted but instead he’s stuck with me.

“I told him, ‘fine! Just leave. We’re not bound or anything’ but he told me no. He said he was gonna whip me into shape so the next guy wouldn’t have to put up with how disgusting I am.”

“T-That’s… horrible.” Josh whispered. “You didn’t deserve that.”

“Yeah… well, anyway, I went along with it. I loved him, you know. I wanted to be prettier for him. But then I got sick and he freaking dumped me.” She snorted. “Oli and my ex look a lot alike, y’know. Act the same too. Trust me on this, I can smell a scumbag from a mile away.”

She smiled again and threw her arms around Josh’s neck. On instinct, Josh’s free arm wound around her waist. “But now I have you, Joshie, and you have me. Let’s ditch the douche and we can be together.”

“I-I don’t even like girls.” Josh whispered. His confidence was slowly shattering though, and he wondered if his boyfriend was like the person Abigal described. Was he playing him all this time? Would he turn into an animal?

“I can change that.” She said. Her hand slowly moved down Josh’s chest, stopping just above his belt line. He gulped. “Me and you, baby. For the rest of our lives. Can you imagine how hot of a couple we’d be? Both in the outside world and…” Her hand lightly grazed his crotch. “…in the bedroom?”

Josh jerked away from her, but Abigal held on, pushing their bodies against the wall. She chuckled and lightly kissed his neck, increasing the pressure on his dick. Josh shuddered, memories of when he was younger passing through his brain. He remembered each moment vividly, and it felt like he was living through them again.

Abigal looked up at him, and her head began to morph and change with the memory he has of Hannah’s. She opened her mouth to speak, but instead of her voice, his ex babysitter’s cool and dignified speech reached his ears. “ Oh, don’t be upset, Joshie. I’ll make you feel good. Promise. ”

Josh screamed and dropped the bag of groceries. He pushed Abigal off of him and broke into a run, expertly dodging the startled stream of people he passed. His surroundings were blurred by his tears, and his body moved on autopilot.

All he could focus on was the past and how well it mixed with the future. He wondered if he’d ever be able to get over it and start living again. He hoped so. He doubted it.

When he reached the apartment, he frantically searched for the key and unlocked it. The door banged open. Josh stepped in and quickly shut it. He leaned against the wood, shaking, and looked over at a startled Oli sitting on the couch.

"Babe, what’s wrong?” Oli asked, equally as frantic. He crouched next to his boyfriend, who had collapsed to the floor, and held his face between his hands. “Are you hurt? Is someone chasing you? Should I call the cops?”

Josh shook his head and pressed his ear against the door. In his head, he saw the younger version of himself cowering in the bathroom, listening for the sound of Hannah’s footsteps. She was going to come back and get him. She was going to make him pay for running from her.

“Josh, listen to me.” Oli said, wiping a stream of tears from the teenager’s cheeks. “No one is out there. You’re safe. I’ll protect you. What’s wrong?”

“Y-You can’t protect me from what goes on in my head.” Josh managed to say, looking up at Oli with the most broken look the 22 year old has ever seen.

Oli frowned and sat back. He lightly touched Josh’s hand and wiped his thumb across the smooth surface of his skin. Josh looked over at what he was doing, and his breathing began to return to normal as his mind pushed the memories of Hannah out and focused on the touch.

He looked up. Oli was concerned, and maybe even a little hurt himself, although Josh didn’t know why. But it made him feel good, knowing that someone cared. Hannah’s memory was still pressing against his mind, so he did the only thing he could think to make it stop.

He leaned forward and desperately pressed his mouth against Oli’s.

From the moment their lips made contact, Oli knew that this was different from any other kiss they’ve had. Josh was more aggressive than usual, like he was trying to get rid of something. Not that the 22 year old was complaining or anything.

Oli’s hands moved to the teenager’s waist, pushing him into his lap and leaving no room between their bodies. They kissed hard enough to know that their lips would be swollen, but Josh wanted more. He needed more.

He lightly licked Oli’s bottom lip, and when the elder gasped, Josh slowly slid his tongue in the hot cavern of Oli’s mouth. Their tongues flicked at the other, hesitant at first, but eventually danced together to music only they could hear.

Josh leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Oli’s back and neck, clinging to him like he was his anchor to the world. Oli lightly nipped at the teenager’s bottom lip and quickly soothed it with his tongue.

They kissed for a few minutes, each wave of sadness lifting from Josh's chest. Feeling a tightening in his jeans, the teenager let out a breathy moan and pulled away. He shoved Oli down and rolled so he was half on top of him, his head nestled in the crook of the elder’s neck.

Oli held his boyfriend close, panting and wondering where on Earth that came from. “What… was that?” He asked. “A-Are you okay?”

“Never been better.” Josh replied, smiling a little. He never thought it would’ve worked, but the kiss seemed to wipe the slate clean. Well not all the way, he still remembered Hannah and what she did, but the memory wasn’t as strong or as persistent. The younger sighed happily and nestled even closer.

“What happened, Josh?” Oli whispered when he finally caught his breath.

Josh sighed. I guess now would be a good time to tell him. “Well, I’d have to start from the beginning. It’s kind of a long story…”