Say Those Three Little Words

Josh took a deep breath and shifted so he was in a more comfortable position. Oli kissed the top of his head and starting drawing shapes into Josh’s arm, a bit eager to hear the story but also willing to stop him if his emotions became too much.

“When my parents took their trip, they hired a babysitter.” Josh started calmly, although he knew he’d be crying at the end of it. He just hoped he could fight back the tears long enough to get the story out. “Her name was Hannah. She was pretty cool at first. Kinda weird, but it was entertaining, y’know?

“Well… after the first couple days, she told me she was bored. I suggested we played a board game or something, like we always do, but she said that wasn’t good enough. She wanted more.” He paused, swallowing a lump that was starting to form in his throat. He could remember that conversation clearly. It was the conversation that started his two weeks into Hell.

Sensing that he was struggling, Oli coaxed him to look up and pressed their lips together. Josh relaxed into the kiss, and gave the elder a thankful smile when they pulled apart.

“She, um… she came up to me… and pushed me against the wall.” He whispered. “Started kissing me and her hands… t-they kept roaming my body.”

Oli gritted his teeth. He knew where this was going and if he ever saw this ‘Hannah’ person, he was going to skin her alive.

“I told her to stop. I begged her. But she just said, ‘oh, don’t be upset, Joshie. I’ll make you feel good. Promise’ and… and she um…”

Oli clutched him tighter, his anger growing stronger and rolling off of him in waves. Josh smiled in spite of himself, thinking that maybe his earlier thoughts weren’t true. If they were, the 22 year old was going through a hell of a lot of trouble to convince him otherwise.

“I guess you know what happened next.” He whispered. “She, uh… touched me like that for the first week, before deciding she was bored with that too. I was hoping she’d stop, but she didn’t. She took it to the next level.”

“I’m gonna kill her.” Oli growled.

Josh chuckled and leaned up to give his boyfriend a kiss. “No need. I’ll probably never see her again.” He sighed and dropped his head. “Well… one day, she uh… when I came home from school, she… d-dragged me to my parents’ room. Forced me to lay down, then t-tied my hands and feet to the bed posts…

“I was begging her to stop. She, um… mentioned how great I looked all spread out. I didn’t know what she meant.” He took another deep breath. Oli pushed his hair out of his face and let a hand lightly trail down his cheek. Josh shuddered. “She… uh… touched me again, but that time she didn’t stop until I was hard. Then… she… well, you know…”

“She forced you to have sex with her.” Oli muttered, his anger flaring up again. Josh nodded. “That’s absolutely sickening. I hope I never run into her, or maybe I do, I don’t know, because I’m going to kill her. How old was she?”

“24…”

“Sickening.” Oli shook his head and looked at the fragile boy in his arms.

Josh was struggling to hold himself together, the memories flitting across his mind. Everything he heard, or felt, or even seen when he was younger was still prominent. The worst part about it, though, was that he couldn’t talk about it for years. He has always been afraid that someone would say that he wanted it or it was his fault. No one really believed that boys could get raped by women. Oli is the first person who knows what happened to him.

Most of Oli’s anger vanished as he gazed upon the teenager. Revenge would have to come later, he decided, because Josh needed him right now. His voice was surprisingly soft when he spoke. “Hey, look at me.”

Glistening blue eyes focused on his brown and Oli lightly brushed away a tear that was threatening to fall. He kept his hand there, running his thumb against the skin, and Josh leaned into the touch.

For the first time, a strange feeling erupted in Josh’s stomach and spread throughout his entire body. He felt warm, secure, and like he wasn’t alone. Part of him was surprised that Oli actually believed him and was being so understanding about it. He smiled softly at the elder, who returned the gesture.

Time seemed to slow as they gazed into each other’s eyes. Oli thought about how lucky he was to have such a strong and wonderful person in his life. He almost cried tears of happiness when he thought about how Josh was his. The teenager could have had any boy in the world and he chose him .

Oli closed the distance between their lips. Josh was surprised at how tender and caring it was. His stomach did a flip and he melted into the embrace. What’s happening to me? He thought as their mouths moved. What is this feeling?

“You’re mine.” Oli whispered against his lips. “You’re mine and I’m never gonna let anyone hurt you, okay?”

Josh nodded, not knowing how to respond to that. He realized that it wasn’t an objectification like he previously thought when seeing it in movies and TV shows, it was assurance that he was wanted. That someone cared. “Promise?”

“Promise.” Oli whispered, kissing him again. His heart leaped when he felt Josh smile and he didn't know how much longer he could handle his rampant emotions. He just cared so much for this boy and wanted to scream it from the top of every mountain in the country.

They pulled away after awhile, going back to just cuddling on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. It was closer to midnight, and although both were exhausted, they were too comfortable to move. Oli almost forgot the reason why Josh was upset in the first place, but it hit him like a ton of bricks when his stomach growled.

“So, what happened while you were out?” He asked quietly.

Josh sighed and pressed himself even closer. “I saw Abigal.. she uh, she has a crush on me and… tried to get me to do stuff with her.”

“Oh.” Oli said, shaking his head. “She should really get to know a person before being so bold about stuff like that.”

Josh chuckled. He thought about what Abigal said about Oli, and just because he and her ex boyfriend had their similarities didn’t mean his boyfriend was like hers. He scolded himself for having those doubts in the first place.

“Abigal compared you to her ex.”

Oli looked over, intrigued and a little amused.

“She basically hates you because you remind her of him. She tried telling me that you and him are the same. I know you’re not like that, though. He was a major dickwad.”

Oli nodded, although he had no clue what Josh was talking about. I’m not like what exactly? He thought. Figuring that it was something Abigal only wanted Josh to know, he dismissed his curiosity.

“Hey, let’s go to bed.” Oli said after a few more minutes of complete silence. Josh groaned, muttering about how he was too tired to move. The 22 year old shrugged and got up, lifting Josh with him. He carried his boyfriend, who was already falling asleep in his arms, into their bedroom and laid him on the bed.

He climbed in soon after, and Josh resumed his position against Oli’s chest. Oli played with his hair, feeling incredibly happy that Josh trusted him with something so big.