Say Those Three Little Words

Both trust and comfort levels were peculiar things, if you really thought about it. You could feel like you can be yourself around a stranger, but have to bottle certain things up in your own home. Some people just give off this aura of complete understanding and trust, and Josh found that to be true when he found himself fucking singing to a near stranger. He couldn’t stop himself; the words just started flowing out of his mouth in an attempt to comfort the older man.

The attempt worked, and that made Josh feel a little more comfortable with what he was doing.

Oli went completely still in his arms, loosening his clutch on the fabric of Josh’s shirt. He blinked back the tears and just listened to the words coming into his ear. Josh had a beautiful voice — in fact, everything about him is beautiful, Oli has come to realize — and hearing it gave Oli some type of hope.

Maybe Josh does trust him, at least a little bit, and that tiny bit could open gateways and uncover secret passages that eventually leads to the kid’s heart. Oli had noticed how conscious Josh was, like he was a diary kept under lock and key and thrown into a metal vault with a complex password just for safe measures. If the older male could gain access to that diary, their friendship could possibly explode and turn into something more.

When Josh finished the song, he noticeably tensed. Oli pulled away and placed his hands on the kid’s shoulders. He attempted to make eye contact but Josh only ducked his head, his cheeks red. “Dude… I thought you said you weren’t that good?”

Josh chuckled half-heartedly. “I’m not…”

“That was beautiful.” Oli replied, smiling. Josh looked up at him through his eye lashes, still skeptical. Oli couldn’t stop the next words that escaped his lips, and immediately after they came out, he regretted them. “Almost as beautiful as the person who sang.”

Josh’s blush deepened and he fidgeted in his spot. Oli mentally slapped himself and slowly took his hands off of Josh’s shoulders.

They stood there in an awkward silence that could’ve lasted for seconds or minutes. Time didn’t seem to exist when the older male could feel himself sucking into the vortex of despair and humiliation. He’s gonna think you’re a freak. He scolded himself. You ruined it. The only person here who has taken a positive interest in you and you fucking ruined it. I hope you’re happy with yourself.

Josh’s mind, however, was swirling with bits and pieces of thoughts that didn’t really make much sense to him. Did he just— beautiful. Me? No. Slip of tongue… only couples… right? Beautiful… he called me beautiful. Why? I’m not. His previous thoughts that Oli wanted to destroy him were washed away and replaced with that surprising statement, multiplying and expanding in his mind.

Thankfully, for the both of them, the doorbell rang. Oli snapped out of his trance and grabbed the money off the counter, almost jogging to the front door to get their food. Josh was still standing in the kitchen, puzzled and dealing with a new emotion invading his chest and causing the butterflies in his stomach.

Oli thanked the delivery guy, gave him a ten dollar tip, and set the pizza box down on the coffee table. He looked up at Josh and frowned. Had what I said really been that bad? “Josh?” The kid didn’t look up. Oli’s frown deepened and he gazed at the floor. “Hey… look man I didn’t mean to say that… I mean I did, because it’s true, but like… I don’t want you to be all uncomfortable and… yeah, sorry. I-I’ll… I’ll just stop talking now…”

Josh’s head snapped up and he widened his eyes, almost as if he’s seen a long lost relative for the first time in years. “Oli.” He crossed to the 22 yr old in five short strides, pulling him into a hug in an almost authoritative manner. “Stop being so hard on yourself. Thank you. I-I just… was taken back by the comment. I haven’t been complimented in what feels like years. Don’t apologize, believe me.”

Oli hugged him back briefly before Josh pulled away, a grin highlighting his features and bringing a sparkle into the blue eyes that Oli felt he could get lost in. He smiled back. They sat down on the couch together and opened the box, feeling somewhat rejuvenated and happier in their own skin.



By the time midnight rolled around, they were sitting cross legged on Oli’s bed, watching The Lion King with a big bowl of popcorn between them. They spent the rest of the afternoon talking, and Oli found that they had a lot in common. Besides their awesome taste in media (Josh had gushed over his extensive CD, DVD, and book collection — pointing out every single title he’s seen, read, or heard, which was a lot), they had similar views on society and realized they were following the same dreams.

They both like to think themselves of rebels of this generation, a name Josh personally coined. “We’re the outcasts because no one tolerates different opinions anymore,” He had said, an angry fire lit in his eyes. “If they can’t see all the corruption around them, we’d have to show it to them. They’re nothing more than blind fucking sheep.”

They both agreed that the media have surpassed their roles in society, taking over and ruining lives. People believe that if they have a certain item or if their parents are certain individuals, they’re the strongest and thus it is their job to eliminate the weak. “That’s why we have bullying…” Oli had said breathlessly, the realization dawning on him.

Josh had agreed, the biggest smile Oli has ever seen on his face.

After the two hour long conversation in the living room, they had ventured back to Oli’s room and had a miniature jam session. The song the older man had played earlier was Time of your Life by Green Day, also known as the first song he ever learned. Oli wondered out loud how the younger boy didn’t know what it was, which Josh only shrugged at.

“Hey dude, do you know the song The Islander by Nightwish? Came out last year?” He asked instead. Oli nodded. “Can you play it?”

As it turns out, he could. As Oli’s hand expertly moved between the frets, Josh’s voice filled the air. They were perfectly in sync, like they had practiced for this moment for months. Like it was meant to be.

Although neither boy were aware, Oli’s mom was standing outside the bedroom door, swaying in place with a small smile on her lips. She was glad her son found someone that he had so much in common with.

At first, she didn’t like Josh. She thought he was an unruly troublemaker that aimed to go out of his way to defy his parents, and when he walked in the class that first day, she almost cursed out loud. But seeing that he already made Oli happier just after a few hours, she began to put aside first impressions and give Josh another chance.

He has the voice of an angel, she thought, pleased. Quietly, she had walked back to her room and shut the door before the song ended.

“Dude!” Josh exclaimed, breaking Oli out of his mental rundown of the past few hours. He was pointing at the screen just after Rafiki lifted the lion cub over his head. “That’s not safe. At all. What if that monkey dude, like, dropped the cub, then he gets so scared he leaves the country? And then the two adult lions send… I don’t know… some type of animal to execute him and this animal chases him all over the country; the movie ending with monkey dude being pushed off the very same cliff?”

Oli laughed. “Then this would be a very different and probably a lot less successful movie.”

Josh only smiled, never averting his eyes from the screen. Oli took this opportunity to look over the teenager again, his eyes lingering a bit too long on the kid’s face. There was one thing about him that struck Oli odd, and it was the fact that he seemed to live a very sheltered life.

Not only had he never heard of Green Day, one of the biggest and well known bands in their genre, but he has never seen or heard of The Lion King. When Oli pulled out the title and told him it was his favorite, Josh only blinked at him, shrugging his shoulders.

He wondered how his life was like back at home, before he moved to America. Being with Josh was just like teaching a toddler different things about the world, or helping a foreigner get used to his surroundings, and it was the only detriment, thus far, in being his friend.

But, in his mind, all the positives outweigh the negative.

Josh looked over then, and Oli blushed, focusing his gaze on to the screen. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Josh biting his lip, his face flicking between desire and an indifferent mask Oli was all too familiar with.

His blush deepened. Could Josh be feeling what I’m feeling? Does he… does he like me too?