Status: ONE-SHOT
Starry Eyed
1/1
“Where do you think we’ll be in ten years’ time?” I ask, my voice a quite murmur through the chilled winter air, finger tips slowly tracing over the rise and fall of your knuckles, my eyes shut to the twinkling pinpricks of beauty above us, the reason we were laid out on the plaid blanket In the first place, the dampness of the ground soaking through the material into the back of my clothing as I lay there beside you. Just you and me and the stars.
I hear a quite hum sound in the back of your throat as my fingers begin to drift higher up your arm, my sense revelling in the silky soft texture of your skin. I hear the sound of material shifting and feel your breath brush against my lips, warm and comforting in the harsh mid-winter. I allow my eyes to flutter open ever so slightly, your stunning orbs the first thing I see, soft mixtures of browns and greens, a lost treasure, a pursued jewel in this suburban tar pit trap. I see the star light glimmering in them as they survey my face, a gentle smile on your lopsided lips that call to my own, aching to feel them, to know them; you. Your taste your texture, everything, I have to know everything.
La lullaby, distract me with your eyes.
The smile is infectious as I feel it twist itself onto my own lips, nowhere near as dazzling as yours, but there, showing my content, my love.
“Ten years? Ten years is a long time Frank.” I hear the pondering tone to your voice as your eyes remain locked on my own, the stars above us forgotten for the moment, they seem so dull compared to you. “I’ll be in my thirties! Jesus that’s scary…” I smile, bringing my fingers up, lazily dragging them along your arm, the texture of your skin replaced with fabric as they climb up, and not stopping until they reach your face, allowing them to stop and brush over your cheeks, marvelling once more at the feel of your skin against my own, even in the smallest doses it’s intoxicating. Your eyes flutter a moment at the sensation of my fingers caressing your cheek, slowly running down to trace along your jaw and lips before they open once more. “Why do you ask?”
I love you so…
I shrug, feeling my cheeks heat up slightly as a cold breeze suddenly rushes across the lawn, swarming over our bodies, goose-bumps rise on my skin as the chill forces it way through my clothing, making me ever more aware of the dampness niggling away at my back, but not enough so for me to leave. I never want to leave this moment behind, especially not as I feel you scoot closer to my body, one arm draping itself almost lethargically over my waist, the weight of the limb reassuring, as if you’re anchoring me to this place, this time. Your face screws up slightly as the breeze forces it’s way up your shirt back, resting it’s cold hands against my territory as it chills your skin, I move my free hand to your back so I’m holding you to me, anchoring you to me, not allowing you to leave this moment.
“Don’t know. I guess I was just thinking today…” I hear a breathy chuckle slips past your lips, your lips that are so close to my own that it’s maddening, that it seems to stop my brain from understanding anything outside of us, outside of you and me and this moment.
“You think too much I think sometimes.” I raise one eyebrow at your offhand remark, but I understand it. I always over think, the simplest of statements can become complex within my mind as I mull it over, picking it apart and putting it back together again, dissecting it and analysing every last sentiment attached before moving on.
Always know, that I love you so
I feel your lips suddenly break through my reverie, their warmth welcoming against my own as they work against them, no battle or fight for dominance, just simple lips against lips, the chapped skin of your slim lips rubs against my own as I smile into the kiss. Another fierce gust of wind pushes against our bodies, making you break the kiss as you gasp from the shock of the wave hitting against our ill pre-pared bodies, I feel you shake in my arms as the resulting chill works down your spine, the taste of cigarettes and cinnamon lingering in my mouth and on my lips as you pull away.
“I think the winds trying to tell us something Frank.” You smile through the words and I feel my heart sink in my chest, the moment is slipping and soon it won’t be a moment, just a memory, the thought saddens me more than it should I think. I watch as you wrap your slim fingers around your arms, rubbing as you try to warm the cold skin, your cheeks and nose hold a slight red tinge from the chill and reluctantly I agree, it’s getting far too cold out here and neither of us can really afford to get sick.
Goodbye lullaby
I bend down and scoop the blanket from the damp ground, ignoring the way my clothes are clinging to my back and the way the skin feels frost bitten nearly. I throw the damp fabric over my arm, feeling your cold, slim fingers tangle in my own as we turn and begin to walk back towards the hotel, shoulders and thighs touching as we walk close together (’We’re conserving body heat!’ you declare as I go to move a reasonable distance only to be tugged back, secretly loving the feel of your body brushing continuously against my own), heads still upturned occasionally, gazing at the beauty above our heads while I walk beside one.
As we walk through the lobby, still less than a millimetre apart, your scent now overpowering my senses, now that the wind can’t carry it away, the scent of cigarettes and coffee, aftershave and deodorant…you. The warmth of the central heating basks against our cold bodies as we huddle together in the lift, your arm wrapped around my waist, keeping us pressed close as your head rest atop my own, black streaks of hair falling in front of my vision, breaking up the reflection staring back at me in the polished lift doors of our forms stood in the corner of the lift, cheeks and nose tips painted with the redness of cold.
“You never answered my question.” I murmur, tipping my head slightly as if it would allow me to see your face eye to eye rather than through our mirrored forms, I want to be able to look into your eyes, see those sought after jewels up close once more, revel in their beauty that can outshine stars, but you don’t move, the thoughtful hum the reverberates through your throat vibrating onto the top of my head causing a smile to tug at the corners of my lips.
“Where we’ll be ten years from now….” You murmur it under your breath, almost as if tasting the words in your mouth, you roll them around, flexing your tongue around each one before you speak, voice hushed for my ears only as you turn your head and you lips brush against the top of my head. “In ten years’ time I see us…I see us where we need to be.” I turn my head, my stomach dipping slightly with disappointment. It’s not the answer I had hoped, but I doubted it would be, your words interest me though. And worry me.
I nod slightly, fingers suddenly fidgeting with your own slim digits as I avert my eyes from the reflection of your priceless gems staring into my murky pits. The words sting slightly, I suppose I was expecting you to say you saw yourself by my side…I was hoping that was what you saw, but who am I to place such expectations upon you? We’re young; this is all an experiment for you I know. But it’s deeper than that for me; it’s always been deeper than that.
“Frankie?” your tone is tender, I think it shows, the disappointment I mean, or maybe the hurt. Either way you’re not meant to see it, I don’t want to unload my stupid impulsive emotions onto you, that’s not fair.
“Yeah?” My voice sounds less than it did before, not any specific emotion lacking from it…it’s just smaller.
“Where do you see us in ten years’ time?” your breath escaping your mouth with the soft words ruffles the few strands of hair that stick away atop my head as I consider my answer. I know where I want to see myself in ten years, had you asked me before out in the grass, the dampness clinging through our shirts I would have answered you in a heart-beat.
’I’m not moving from here. This is where I’m staying; wherever you are.’
My tongue tingles with the unspoken words trying to force their way out of my mouth, but I don’t let them slip. How can I now I know your stand-offish approach to this? My heart feels sluggish as I speak like theirs suddenly mortar filling the robust organ, pumping in through my veins and setting in the chambers.
“Where ever you need me to be…I’ll be there. Whenever, whatever, where-ever.” My throat feels tight and constricting as I speak the words, the mortar in my heart cracking and raining through the bottom of the organ into my stomach leaving me feeling queasy until I feel your lips press against my temple. I can feel the smile through the kiss as you grip me closer, ignoring the fact that the back of my shirt is probably making the front of yours damp.
That was then…
TEN YEARS LATER
I watch you scoop up the child, her tiny hands latching together behind your neck as your support her with your arms, a practised motion completed with an elegant ease, the sweet squeal she emits as your pretend to drop her, never really letting her out of your arms, does nothing to lessen the dead weight pushing against my lungs.
I can’t turn this around.
Your eyes meet mine for a second, those gems shining for me once more like they haven’t for nearly five years, the memories hidden behind them determined to stay in the pits your threw them into. I could never bury mine that easily, those nights spent staring at the stars and your eyes out-shining them, I don’t want to bury them.
I just wander around with my eyes wide shut because of you.
It’s nice to sometimes be able to shut my eyes and go back to then, but the problem is when I wake up, it’s still now and you’re where you need to be; you’ve got the baby girl with shining jewels for eyes and a gold band on your finger. And I’m still where you want me to be, always on call if ever you need me, always willing to go where-ever you want me to go, whenever you need me there.
Let me out of this dream
I hear a quite hum sound in the back of your throat as my fingers begin to drift higher up your arm, my sense revelling in the silky soft texture of your skin. I hear the sound of material shifting and feel your breath brush against my lips, warm and comforting in the harsh mid-winter. I allow my eyes to flutter open ever so slightly, your stunning orbs the first thing I see, soft mixtures of browns and greens, a lost treasure, a pursued jewel in this suburban tar pit trap. I see the star light glimmering in them as they survey my face, a gentle smile on your lopsided lips that call to my own, aching to feel them, to know them; you. Your taste your texture, everything, I have to know everything.
La lullaby, distract me with your eyes.
The smile is infectious as I feel it twist itself onto my own lips, nowhere near as dazzling as yours, but there, showing my content, my love.
“Ten years? Ten years is a long time Frank.” I hear the pondering tone to your voice as your eyes remain locked on my own, the stars above us forgotten for the moment, they seem so dull compared to you. “I’ll be in my thirties! Jesus that’s scary…” I smile, bringing my fingers up, lazily dragging them along your arm, the texture of your skin replaced with fabric as they climb up, and not stopping until they reach your face, allowing them to stop and brush over your cheeks, marvelling once more at the feel of your skin against my own, even in the smallest doses it’s intoxicating. Your eyes flutter a moment at the sensation of my fingers caressing your cheek, slowly running down to trace along your jaw and lips before they open once more. “Why do you ask?”
I love you so…
I shrug, feeling my cheeks heat up slightly as a cold breeze suddenly rushes across the lawn, swarming over our bodies, goose-bumps rise on my skin as the chill forces it way through my clothing, making me ever more aware of the dampness niggling away at my back, but not enough so for me to leave. I never want to leave this moment behind, especially not as I feel you scoot closer to my body, one arm draping itself almost lethargically over my waist, the weight of the limb reassuring, as if you’re anchoring me to this place, this time. Your face screws up slightly as the breeze forces it’s way up your shirt back, resting it’s cold hands against my territory as it chills your skin, I move my free hand to your back so I’m holding you to me, anchoring you to me, not allowing you to leave this moment.
“Don’t know. I guess I was just thinking today…” I hear a breathy chuckle slips past your lips, your lips that are so close to my own that it’s maddening, that it seems to stop my brain from understanding anything outside of us, outside of you and me and this moment.
“You think too much I think sometimes.” I raise one eyebrow at your offhand remark, but I understand it. I always over think, the simplest of statements can become complex within my mind as I mull it over, picking it apart and putting it back together again, dissecting it and analysing every last sentiment attached before moving on.
Always know, that I love you so
I feel your lips suddenly break through my reverie, their warmth welcoming against my own as they work against them, no battle or fight for dominance, just simple lips against lips, the chapped skin of your slim lips rubs against my own as I smile into the kiss. Another fierce gust of wind pushes against our bodies, making you break the kiss as you gasp from the shock of the wave hitting against our ill pre-pared bodies, I feel you shake in my arms as the resulting chill works down your spine, the taste of cigarettes and cinnamon lingering in my mouth and on my lips as you pull away.
“I think the winds trying to tell us something Frank.” You smile through the words and I feel my heart sink in my chest, the moment is slipping and soon it won’t be a moment, just a memory, the thought saddens me more than it should I think. I watch as you wrap your slim fingers around your arms, rubbing as you try to warm the cold skin, your cheeks and nose hold a slight red tinge from the chill and reluctantly I agree, it’s getting far too cold out here and neither of us can really afford to get sick.
Goodbye lullaby
I bend down and scoop the blanket from the damp ground, ignoring the way my clothes are clinging to my back and the way the skin feels frost bitten nearly. I throw the damp fabric over my arm, feeling your cold, slim fingers tangle in my own as we turn and begin to walk back towards the hotel, shoulders and thighs touching as we walk close together (’We’re conserving body heat!’ you declare as I go to move a reasonable distance only to be tugged back, secretly loving the feel of your body brushing continuously against my own), heads still upturned occasionally, gazing at the beauty above our heads while I walk beside one.
As we walk through the lobby, still less than a millimetre apart, your scent now overpowering my senses, now that the wind can’t carry it away, the scent of cigarettes and coffee, aftershave and deodorant…you. The warmth of the central heating basks against our cold bodies as we huddle together in the lift, your arm wrapped around my waist, keeping us pressed close as your head rest atop my own, black streaks of hair falling in front of my vision, breaking up the reflection staring back at me in the polished lift doors of our forms stood in the corner of the lift, cheeks and nose tips painted with the redness of cold.
“You never answered my question.” I murmur, tipping my head slightly as if it would allow me to see your face eye to eye rather than through our mirrored forms, I want to be able to look into your eyes, see those sought after jewels up close once more, revel in their beauty that can outshine stars, but you don’t move, the thoughtful hum the reverberates through your throat vibrating onto the top of my head causing a smile to tug at the corners of my lips.
“Where we’ll be ten years from now….” You murmur it under your breath, almost as if tasting the words in your mouth, you roll them around, flexing your tongue around each one before you speak, voice hushed for my ears only as you turn your head and you lips brush against the top of my head. “In ten years’ time I see us…I see us where we need to be.” I turn my head, my stomach dipping slightly with disappointment. It’s not the answer I had hoped, but I doubted it would be, your words interest me though. And worry me.
I nod slightly, fingers suddenly fidgeting with your own slim digits as I avert my eyes from the reflection of your priceless gems staring into my murky pits. The words sting slightly, I suppose I was expecting you to say you saw yourself by my side…I was hoping that was what you saw, but who am I to place such expectations upon you? We’re young; this is all an experiment for you I know. But it’s deeper than that for me; it’s always been deeper than that.
“Frankie?” your tone is tender, I think it shows, the disappointment I mean, or maybe the hurt. Either way you’re not meant to see it, I don’t want to unload my stupid impulsive emotions onto you, that’s not fair.
“Yeah?” My voice sounds less than it did before, not any specific emotion lacking from it…it’s just smaller.
“Where do you see us in ten years’ time?” your breath escaping your mouth with the soft words ruffles the few strands of hair that stick away atop my head as I consider my answer. I know where I want to see myself in ten years, had you asked me before out in the grass, the dampness clinging through our shirts I would have answered you in a heart-beat.
’I’m not moving from here. This is where I’m staying; wherever you are.’
My tongue tingles with the unspoken words trying to force their way out of my mouth, but I don’t let them slip. How can I now I know your stand-offish approach to this? My heart feels sluggish as I speak like theirs suddenly mortar filling the robust organ, pumping in through my veins and setting in the chambers.
“Where ever you need me to be…I’ll be there. Whenever, whatever, where-ever.” My throat feels tight and constricting as I speak the words, the mortar in my heart cracking and raining through the bottom of the organ into my stomach leaving me feeling queasy until I feel your lips press against my temple. I can feel the smile through the kiss as you grip me closer, ignoring the fact that the back of my shirt is probably making the front of yours damp.
That was then…
TEN YEARS LATER
I watch you scoop up the child, her tiny hands latching together behind your neck as your support her with your arms, a practised motion completed with an elegant ease, the sweet squeal she emits as your pretend to drop her, never really letting her out of your arms, does nothing to lessen the dead weight pushing against my lungs.
I can’t turn this around.
Your eyes meet mine for a second, those gems shining for me once more like they haven’t for nearly five years, the memories hidden behind them determined to stay in the pits your threw them into. I could never bury mine that easily, those nights spent staring at the stars and your eyes out-shining them, I don’t want to bury them.
I just wander around with my eyes wide shut because of you.
It’s nice to sometimes be able to shut my eyes and go back to then, but the problem is when I wake up, it’s still now and you’re where you need to be; you’ve got the baby girl with shining jewels for eyes and a gold band on your finger. And I’m still where you want me to be, always on call if ever you need me, always willing to go where-ever you want me to go, whenever you need me there.
Let me out of this dream