To Walk in His Shoes

August 2nd.

The stars radiate light in the sky like luminous gems in the night, pushing the few clouds that take up room away. Normally I would be distracted by such a breathtakingly beautiful view. But I’m quickly overtaken with the crowd muttering nonsense about the embryonic fire in the distance.

The orange flames crackle obnoxiously in the close proximity, distributing large mounds of smoke through the thick air. My face seems to burn under the faraway heat of the inferno, so I turn away, staring directly at Emma.

She looks tired as she rubs her eyes and yawns. She glances at me in utter terror, almost as if she’s asking me how this could have happened. I shrug and scold myself for not having a better answer. I wish this could all be over. The heat. The burning. The fright.

All of it.

Questions flood through my mind as I think of how this could have started, or how many people were in the house at the time of the incident. It doesn’t sound like anyone has been hurt, so I’m relieved. But the fire has already damaged the house so much, and I know fixing it will be a tremendous amount of time and money.

Carter brings Keith over a couple of seconds later, and they both look like ghosts. Carter is sweating and his brows are furrowed, while Keith tries the calmer side. But when I look into his eyes, I know he’s terrified.

It’d be wrong of me to think he started it, I’m aware of that. Yet something inside of me aches and my mouth opens before I can actually think about what I’m saying. I grill him with questions about where he was and acuse him of doing it.

“Kat, calm down,” Emma gestures, grabbing my shoulders and pulling me away from Keith. He just smirks and gives me a smug look.

“As much as you know I love to please you Kitty-Kat, I didn’t do this,” he says sarcastically, rolling his tongue around.

“Then what happened? There’s never been a fire in this neighborhood before. Things like this don’t just happen,” I argue, realizing that I’m completely wrong.

“Quite the contrary. Things like this happen all the time. It’s just an accident, and luckily everyone is all right,” Keith declares confidently, probably happy that he was the giver of the wonderful news.

Although I’m glad everyone is safe, I’m still angry at Keith. I continue to glare at him until Carter pulls me away privately.

“Katrina, can you for once not lash out at Keith? Because this is not the right time,” he says seriously. I groan and take a couple of steps back into our front lawn. I sit down on the very unmowed grass and wait for him to join me.

“Well what am I supposed to do? Completely avoid him?” I ask angrily. Carter smiles and looks away from me, taking a couple shards of grass and pulling them from the ground.

“Actually, yeah. That’s a perfect plan,” he chuckles.

“I have no problem with staying away from him. But he’s always with you, and if you haven’t noticed, it’s kind of difficult when he’s in our house,” I say, straying a bit away from the subject.

“I was talking about right now. Although, it would be great if you could try to steer clear of him when he’s around,” he says, scratching his chin like it’s a brilliant idea.

“How am I going to pull that off? He’s always in the kitchen.” I say, shaking my head in confusion.

“Yeah, and?” He says, acting as if I make no sense in the slightest.

“So are you saying I should just stay locked up in my room and act like he’s not there?” I inquire, frustration clear in my voice.

Carter shrugs, standing and brushing the dirt off of his pants. He holds his hand out for me but I ignore it and stand up myself.

When I join Keith and Emma, they’re both laughing and pretending that the fire is gone, although that’s far from true.

“Oh, hey guys!” Emma says a bit too cheerfully when she notices Carter and me. Keith just smiles smugly and pushes his hands deep in his pockets.

“So how’s the house?” I ask, disregarding Emma’s greeting. “Are the Johnson’s all right?”

Emma looks at me with an uncertainty in her eyes and twitches her lips. “No one is hurt, but I think the house is pretty damaged,” she says softly.

“No kidding, Emma. It’s on fire. What do you expect?” I say harshly. Emma gazes away and stares at the ground. I know I’ve hurt her feelings, but her being around Keith so much is really starting to get to my head.

“Whoa Kitty-Kat. Calm down. She’s just trying to help,” Keith says, stepping in between us. Carter just stands around and acts like he’s not here.

“Whatever. I’m going back inside. Just come and get me if there’s any more information on the fire, all right?” I utter bitterly, glaring at Keith. He furrows his eyebrows in curiosity and Emma continues to look away.

I roll my eyes and walk away, hugging my arms in the surprisingly frosty morning air. When I’m inside, I turn on the kitchen light and pull out my phone. I dial the first number I can think of, sighing with relief when I hear her gentle voice over the line.

“Katrina?” She asks, a hint of happiness etched in her expression.

“Hey mom,” I say, a wide grin forming on my face.

“What are you doing up so late?”

“Nothing. I just missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, honey.”

“When are you coming home?”

She hesitates over the phone for a couple of seconds before she can conjure up an answer. “A couple of days? A week at most,” she says honestly. I frown and rest my hip against the counter.

“How has your patient been?” I ask, knowing that making her feel guilty won’t do any good.

“He’s been okay. We’re reuniting him back with his family tomorrow. But yeah, he’s been stable and he’s making a lot of progress,” she says, smiling over the phone.

“Great. Well, I should leave you to your busy schedule,” I say.

“Okay. Thanks for calling honey.”

“Of course. I’ll see you soon.”

“K. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

The line goes blank and I hang up the phone, setting it on the counter. I sit in a chair and aimlessly twirl my fingers through my hair like I did when I was a kid.

Carter slams the door and treads into the kitchen, giving me a look that I know says, ‘what-is-the-matter-with-you?’

“What?” I finally ask after an intense staredown.

“What’s with you and Emma?” He probes, wrinkling his forehead and entwining his fingers together. He stands a couple feet away from me, yet I feel like he’s breathing down my neck.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“You said some pretty harsh stuff out there to Emma, Kat,” he says. I roll my eyes by the ridiculousness of this moment. I’m being grilled by my brother.

“She’s my best friend, Carter. I don’t think she minded,” I say.

“I’ve known her just as long as you have, and I’m pretty sure I can tell when she’s hurt,” he says, restlessly kicking his legs around. I twiddle with my fingers on the countertop.

“Your point being?” I ask annoyedly.

“Just talk to her, okay?” He suggests hurriedly, walking out the door. I sigh in frustration. Carter’s never been great with confrontation, so I’m surprised he talked to me about this. Nevertheless, it makes me angry that the words I said hurt her. Sometimes I feel like Emma can be so sensitive.

After arguing with myself for several unneccessary minutes, I grab Emma from outside and take her up to my room. I halfheartedly apologize and tell her why I’ve been acting mean.

Within the hour, Emma forgives me and we rant about the fire and Carter barging in my room to wake us up. We laugh again and everything is back to normal.

Eventually we fall asleep again, completely unaware of what the next few days has in store for us.