Pretend
Cora
I slumped onto the beanbag by my bedroom window, feeling empty and sad. Marcus was being a dick - no, he was being a boy, and if I talked to him it'd be okay - and Seb was somewhere with some girl - I heard her voice, her squeaky stupid voice - and Renny wasn't answering her phone. I sighed and turned on my iPod. A song called Heartbreaker[/url]-->Heartbreaker by the Walkmen poured out of the speakers and I bobbed my head to the beat.
Seb and I both loved indie music. Death Cab for Cutie, Neutral Milk Hotel, the Mowgli's, Alkaline Trio and Arcade Fire were our mutual favorites. I loved finding new bands to listen to. My current favorite was the Walkmen, an indie rock band from New York City that was founded in 2000. They had a really great sound and used vintage instruments, like an upright piano. I had gotten so used to raw voices and unaltered guitar chords that the autotuned crap on the radio that they called music gave me a headache.
My phone buzzed and I turned down the volume, then picked up my phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Cora, it's Ren."
"Hey Renny!" I said, scratching at a bug bite on the top of my foot. I had no idea where the bite came from. It was too late in the year for mosquitoes. Maybe a spider. I shuddered.
"You called?" Renny asked.
"Yeah. Are you busy?" I asked.
"Nah, want me to come over?"
"Please. I am so bored," I told her, twisting from side to side and cracking my back.
"I'll be there in five, mon amour," she said. Renata Chevalier was French. She had moved from a little coastal town in the south of France called Collioure to Point Chase during sixth grade. We became friends almost immediately. She was gorgeous, with long black curls and bright blue eyes. She spoke with a lilting French accent and tended to mix French words into her everyday speech. She lived with her parents and her two little sisters, Melodie and Maiya. She had a brother, Patric, who was three years older than us and an absolute dream. When Renny and I were younger, I had the hugest crush on Patric. When we were freshmen in high school he was a senior and I was in love. But then he went to college and came out to his parents as a flaming homosexual, so now Patric is like the older brother I never had.
"Okay, sounds perfect!" I said chirpily, and hung up the phone. Renny and I hadn't hung out since the party at Pebble Beach, so I was looking forward to lounging around and having some quality girl time. I threw the clothes and books that were lying on my floor into their respective drawers and boxes, then scrolled through my iPod until I found my Corata playlist. It was an extremely eclectic mix of Renny's and my favorite songs, including some really cool indie stuff from France. We always listened to it when we hung out. I put the playlist on shuffle and the quirky smoothness of Newton Faulkner's voice poured out of my speakers. I picked up my book and slouched down into the beanbag to read until Renny showed up.
I was completely absorbed in my book - the hero, Jay, was in the middle of an epic space battle and his best friend was missing - when a hand swooped down and snatched it out of my hands.
"Hey!" I yelped indignantly.
"Oh Cora-Corrine, you ballot de mot," Renny said. "I have been saying your name for five minutes! You are obsessed, mon amie."
"Sorry," I sighed. Renny kicked off her shoes and sat on my floor in front of me, bobbing her head to the French song that was playing. Then she waved her hands around and made an excited little squeak.
"CoCo, I have to tell you all about the date I had with Adrian the other night!" she exclaimed, her big eyes shining. "It was parfait." And she launched into a story about going to the Seven Ponds Nature Center in Dryden, and how it was so lovely and romantic and perfect.
"And the leaves were like fire on the trees and I was un tout petit peu froid because the wind had picked up so I was shivering, and Adrian saw that I was cold and gave me his jacket! Isn't that so sweet?" she cooed. I nodded and smiled. Renny and Adrian had been dating for about a month and they were too sweet together. Renny was head-over-heels for him.
"And how are you and Marcus?" Renny asked. My stomach lurched and I turned to my iPod, clicking through songs and trying to stall. I wasn't sure whether I should tell Renny what happened the other night at Marcus's house. On one hand, I felt like I was going to burst. I needed to talk about it. I needed to talk about what happened. But on the other hand, nothing had really happened, right? He was just being a boy, I told myself sternly. Nothing more.
"CoCo?" Renny said. She sounded worried now. "Is everything okay?"
"I..." I hesitated, then sighed deeply. "I dunno. I'm probably making a big deal out of nothing, but..." Again I hesitated. Renny frowned and scooted closer to me.
"But what, pet?" she asked. I bit my lip.
"But... Okay. I was at Marcus's house a few nights ago and we were kissing and for a while it was quite nice. And then all of a sudden he was, like, pawing at me," I said, my voice rushed. Renny raised her eyebrows.
"How do you mean?"
"Like he was grabbing my butt and my boobs and it all happened really fast and I don't even know," I muttered. I didn't look at Renny, I just stared at my hands. "I'm being stupid."
"No no no, you are not being stupid," Renny said. She took my hands in hers and forced me to meet her eyes. "What else happened, petite?"
I took a deep breath, then told her. She stood up, her delicate face pink with anger.
"That connard!" she spat. "He touched you after you told him to stop?" I nodded. "I will kick his ass!" I looked up at Renny and started laughing. She was tiny, only just five foot, and she weighed 105 pounds after Thanksgiving dinner. She couldn't kick Marcus's ass if she tried. She'd bounce right off of him.
"Okay, maybe I won't," she conceded, her face falling. Then it brightened again.
"Ask Sebastian to kick Marcus's ass for you! He would do it. He worships you, CoCo!" I blushed and shook my head vigorously.
"He does not," I told her.
"He does!" Renny insisted. "Sebastian would do anything for you." I sighed and picked at my nails. They were in desperate need of a manicure.
I was in desperate need of a solution.
"Seb and I are sort of fighting," I said quietly. Renny let out a sympathetic coo and wrapped her skinny arms around me.
"I'm sorry, bien-aimée," she said sadly. "That is the worst kind of fight, a sort of fight. Because sometimes it is normal and then out of nowhere the fight comes back and you can't look at each other again and it is très awkward. But CoCo, you can't just leave it, you simply cannot. I will not let you. Go find Sebastian and make up and then we will be girly and I will paint your nails." Renny stood, pulled on her shoes, and dragged me out of my house.
I told Renny to drop me off at the top of the path that led to the Lighthouse. She honked the cherry-red VW's horn twice, then sped off. I started jogging down the path, enjoying the chilly October air against my face and the weak autumn sunshine on my back.
When Seb and I were younger, we would always leave messages to each other in a space in between the roots of an oak tree. We always felt so cool doing it, like the messages were secrets that only we could know. I hadn't left a message in the tree in over four years, but I still found the tree without even thinking. It was taller than I remembered, but that was to be expected. The hollow in between the two biggest roots was still there. So were the rocks and shells that I left there after my trip to South Carolina, and the blue and purple marbles that Seb won in third grade. I smiled as memories of playing here for hours with Seb came flooding back.
A chipmunk skittered across the path and I jumped back, startled. Then I grinned, knelt at the bottom of the oak tree, and pulled out the paper and pen that were in my hoodie pocket.
Dear Seb, I wrote. I've been a bitch lately. I know that and I'm sorry. Other than Renata you're my best friend and I shouldn't have ditched you or ignored you the way I have been. And I'm sorry for pushing you about that gash on your side. I'm just worried about you. I'm here if you want to talk, and I'm here if you just want to chill. I'm here always. Lots of love - Cora
I folded the paper up into a tight triangle and stuck it into the little tupperware container we always used to keep our notes dry. Then I stood up, wiped the dirt off my knees, sent a text to Seb saying check the tree and jogged home.
Seb and I both loved indie music. Death Cab for Cutie, Neutral Milk Hotel, the Mowgli's, Alkaline Trio and Arcade Fire were our mutual favorites. I loved finding new bands to listen to. My current favorite was the Walkmen, an indie rock band from New York City that was founded in 2000. They had a really great sound and used vintage instruments, like an upright piano. I had gotten so used to raw voices and unaltered guitar chords that the autotuned crap on the radio that they called music gave me a headache.
My phone buzzed and I turned down the volume, then picked up my phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Cora, it's Ren."
"Hey Renny!" I said, scratching at a bug bite on the top of my foot. I had no idea where the bite came from. It was too late in the year for mosquitoes. Maybe a spider. I shuddered.
"You called?" Renny asked.
"Yeah. Are you busy?" I asked.
"Nah, want me to come over?"
"Please. I am so bored," I told her, twisting from side to side and cracking my back.
"I'll be there in five, mon amour," she said. Renata Chevalier was French. She had moved from a little coastal town in the south of France called Collioure to Point Chase during sixth grade. We became friends almost immediately. She was gorgeous, with long black curls and bright blue eyes. She spoke with a lilting French accent and tended to mix French words into her everyday speech. She lived with her parents and her two little sisters, Melodie and Maiya. She had a brother, Patric, who was three years older than us and an absolute dream. When Renny and I were younger, I had the hugest crush on Patric. When we were freshmen in high school he was a senior and I was in love. But then he went to college and came out to his parents as a flaming homosexual, so now Patric is like the older brother I never had.
"Okay, sounds perfect!" I said chirpily, and hung up the phone. Renny and I hadn't hung out since the party at Pebble Beach, so I was looking forward to lounging around and having some quality girl time. I threw the clothes and books that were lying on my floor into their respective drawers and boxes, then scrolled through my iPod until I found my Corata playlist. It was an extremely eclectic mix of Renny's and my favorite songs, including some really cool indie stuff from France. We always listened to it when we hung out. I put the playlist on shuffle and the quirky smoothness of Newton Faulkner's voice poured out of my speakers. I picked up my book and slouched down into the beanbag to read until Renny showed up.
I was completely absorbed in my book - the hero, Jay, was in the middle of an epic space battle and his best friend was missing - when a hand swooped down and snatched it out of my hands.
"Hey!" I yelped indignantly.
"Oh Cora-Corrine, you ballot de mot," Renny said. "I have been saying your name for five minutes! You are obsessed, mon amie."
"Sorry," I sighed. Renny kicked off her shoes and sat on my floor in front of me, bobbing her head to the French song that was playing. Then she waved her hands around and made an excited little squeak.
"CoCo, I have to tell you all about the date I had with Adrian the other night!" she exclaimed, her big eyes shining. "It was parfait." And she launched into a story about going to the Seven Ponds Nature Center in Dryden, and how it was so lovely and romantic and perfect.
"And the leaves were like fire on the trees and I was un tout petit peu froid because the wind had picked up so I was shivering, and Adrian saw that I was cold and gave me his jacket! Isn't that so sweet?" she cooed. I nodded and smiled. Renny and Adrian had been dating for about a month and they were too sweet together. Renny was head-over-heels for him.
"And how are you and Marcus?" Renny asked. My stomach lurched and I turned to my iPod, clicking through songs and trying to stall. I wasn't sure whether I should tell Renny what happened the other night at Marcus's house. On one hand, I felt like I was going to burst. I needed to talk about it. I needed to talk about what happened. But on the other hand, nothing had really happened, right? He was just being a boy, I told myself sternly. Nothing more.
"CoCo?" Renny said. She sounded worried now. "Is everything okay?"
"I..." I hesitated, then sighed deeply. "I dunno. I'm probably making a big deal out of nothing, but..." Again I hesitated. Renny frowned and scooted closer to me.
"But what, pet?" she asked. I bit my lip.
"But... Okay. I was at Marcus's house a few nights ago and we were kissing and for a while it was quite nice. And then all of a sudden he was, like, pawing at me," I said, my voice rushed. Renny raised her eyebrows.
"How do you mean?"
"Like he was grabbing my butt and my boobs and it all happened really fast and I don't even know," I muttered. I didn't look at Renny, I just stared at my hands. "I'm being stupid."
"No no no, you are not being stupid," Renny said. She took my hands in hers and forced me to meet her eyes. "What else happened, petite?"
I took a deep breath, then told her. She stood up, her delicate face pink with anger.
"That connard!" she spat. "He touched you after you told him to stop?" I nodded. "I will kick his ass!" I looked up at Renny and started laughing. She was tiny, only just five foot, and she weighed 105 pounds after Thanksgiving dinner. She couldn't kick Marcus's ass if she tried. She'd bounce right off of him.
"Okay, maybe I won't," she conceded, her face falling. Then it brightened again.
"Ask Sebastian to kick Marcus's ass for you! He would do it. He worships you, CoCo!" I blushed and shook my head vigorously.
"He does not," I told her.
"He does!" Renny insisted. "Sebastian would do anything for you." I sighed and picked at my nails. They were in desperate need of a manicure.
I was in desperate need of a solution.
"Seb and I are sort of fighting," I said quietly. Renny let out a sympathetic coo and wrapped her skinny arms around me.
"I'm sorry, bien-aimée," she said sadly. "That is the worst kind of fight, a sort of fight. Because sometimes it is normal and then out of nowhere the fight comes back and you can't look at each other again and it is très awkward. But CoCo, you can't just leave it, you simply cannot. I will not let you. Go find Sebastian and make up and then we will be girly and I will paint your nails." Renny stood, pulled on her shoes, and dragged me out of my house.
I told Renny to drop me off at the top of the path that led to the Lighthouse. She honked the cherry-red VW's horn twice, then sped off. I started jogging down the path, enjoying the chilly October air against my face and the weak autumn sunshine on my back.
When Seb and I were younger, we would always leave messages to each other in a space in between the roots of an oak tree. We always felt so cool doing it, like the messages were secrets that only we could know. I hadn't left a message in the tree in over four years, but I still found the tree without even thinking. It was taller than I remembered, but that was to be expected. The hollow in between the two biggest roots was still there. So were the rocks and shells that I left there after my trip to South Carolina, and the blue and purple marbles that Seb won in third grade. I smiled as memories of playing here for hours with Seb came flooding back.
A chipmunk skittered across the path and I jumped back, startled. Then I grinned, knelt at the bottom of the oak tree, and pulled out the paper and pen that were in my hoodie pocket.
Dear Seb, I wrote. I've been a bitch lately. I know that and I'm sorry. Other than Renata you're my best friend and I shouldn't have ditched you or ignored you the way I have been. And I'm sorry for pushing you about that gash on your side. I'm just worried about you. I'm here if you want to talk, and I'm here if you just want to chill. I'm here always. Lots of love - Cora
I folded the paper up into a tight triangle and stuck it into the little tupperware container we always used to keep our notes dry. Then I stood up, wiped the dirt off my knees, sent a text to Seb saying check the tree and jogged home.