Bury me in all my favorite colors
Just keep breathing and stay calm
I walked out of the doctor’s office in a daze. No one around me seemed to notice the slow zombie like pace I had taken up. This doctor’s appointment was supposed to be harmless, just to clear up why my abdomen was hurting so much. The doctor was supposed to prescribe me pills for a stomach virus, hell I would have been happy with it just being gas. I got to my beat up Honda civic unlocked the door and sat in my driver’s seat staring out my windshield replaying each moment that just happened. Images of the x-rays flashed in front of my closed eyes, the grey blobs popping up until it was all I could see. This couldn’t be happening. I slammed my hands onto my steering wheel as I let the sobs fully take over my body.
Death has always been terrifying for me, but I constantly pushed it to the back of my mind reasoning that it was too far down the path to worry myself sick now. I always thought I would die in my sleep due to old age, not after my body was done destroying itself. After five minutes of my break down I composed myself, fixed my lavender hair in the mirror and wiped some of the smudged eyeliner away. Right now I had to put on a brave face and sit through dinner with my parents and my boyfriend. I turned my car on and drove to the restaurant we had all agreed on. Losing myself in thought on how to go about telling the three people closest to me about this disaster made the drive faster than it should have been. I got out of the car meeting Daniel, my boyfriend, at the front door before we were seated with my parents.
“Darling lovely to see you. How was your day?” my mother asked with an overly cheerful smile plastered on her face. I mumbled an incoherent response knowing it wouldn’t matter either way. Soon we ordered our food, as everyone made small talk I sat quietly pushing my chicken around the plate.
“I think a cruise through Alaska for your spring break would be a good idea, to relax.” My dad announced to the table. He had a way of making everything sound important and business like.
“I think that is a delightful idea” Daniel chimed in. I was about to mention the fact that me going on a boat where a doctor wasn’t readily available was not the best idea at the moment, but no apparently there is only one voice in this relationship and it isn’t mine.
“I don’t think that is a good idea” I stated obviously not loud enough or maybe someone would have questioned it. The group in front of me continued to boast on how exciting this new trip was going to be and how much fun we were all going to have.
“Does anyone want to know why I think this is a bad idea?” I questioned growing impatient.
“Not right now sweetheart” Daniel threw in my directions placing his hand on my knee to stop my leg from bouncing. I have a very short fuse and being ignored is on the top list to set it off. The room was becoming unbearably hot as I’m anything sure my face started to turn red. The voices in the room growing louder until they all blended into one loud noise. My miniature hands forming fists in my lap.
“I have cancer!” I screeched. Everyone around us stopped what they were doing to stare at the poor girl with the purple hair who has obviously lost her mind. I composed myself picking up my fork I cleared my throat and began to speak in a calmer tone. “I can’t go on your mindless vacation because, I have cancer.”
Death has always been terrifying for me, but I constantly pushed it to the back of my mind reasoning that it was too far down the path to worry myself sick now. I always thought I would die in my sleep due to old age, not after my body was done destroying itself. After five minutes of my break down I composed myself, fixed my lavender hair in the mirror and wiped some of the smudged eyeliner away. Right now I had to put on a brave face and sit through dinner with my parents and my boyfriend. I turned my car on and drove to the restaurant we had all agreed on. Losing myself in thought on how to go about telling the three people closest to me about this disaster made the drive faster than it should have been. I got out of the car meeting Daniel, my boyfriend, at the front door before we were seated with my parents.
“Darling lovely to see you. How was your day?” my mother asked with an overly cheerful smile plastered on her face. I mumbled an incoherent response knowing it wouldn’t matter either way. Soon we ordered our food, as everyone made small talk I sat quietly pushing my chicken around the plate.
“I think a cruise through Alaska for your spring break would be a good idea, to relax.” My dad announced to the table. He had a way of making everything sound important and business like.
“I think that is a delightful idea” Daniel chimed in. I was about to mention the fact that me going on a boat where a doctor wasn’t readily available was not the best idea at the moment, but no apparently there is only one voice in this relationship and it isn’t mine.
“I don’t think that is a good idea” I stated obviously not loud enough or maybe someone would have questioned it. The group in front of me continued to boast on how exciting this new trip was going to be and how much fun we were all going to have.
“Does anyone want to know why I think this is a bad idea?” I questioned growing impatient.
“Not right now sweetheart” Daniel threw in my directions placing his hand on my knee to stop my leg from bouncing. I have a very short fuse and being ignored is on the top list to set it off. The room was becoming unbearably hot as I’m anything sure my face started to turn red. The voices in the room growing louder until they all blended into one loud noise. My miniature hands forming fists in my lap.
“I have cancer!” I screeched. Everyone around us stopped what they were doing to stare at the poor girl with the purple hair who has obviously lost her mind. I composed myself picking up my fork I cleared my throat and began to speak in a calmer tone. “I can’t go on your mindless vacation because, I have cancer.”
♠ ♠ ♠
kinda short So I am going to see where this goes.... Need an escape writing could be that.