Waiting for You

I back my bags up as he sleeps in the bed. I rush them to the back of my car. I cover them with a blanket. I don't think I will be able to get away from him with him in the house. There is a chance that Jamielynn would yell from being woken up. I don't need that. She has luckily not seen him hit me. I don't know what I would do about that.

I go and go lay down next to him. I want it to seem normal. I don't get much sleep. I do try, but I'm nervous. I have my keys sitting in my pocket. I watch the clock on my side. I get up and start to cook before his alarm goes off. He will even more happy with me if I do this.

After thirty minutes I hear the alarm go off, but is quickly shut off by Ian. I can hear him starting to move around in the hallway. He makes his way to the kitchen. "Cooking?" he says. "That's what you should be doing. I'm taking my shower."

I don't say anything. I just look at the pan in front of me. He is going to find out. He will find out what I am planning. I can't get that thought out of my head.

Ian was a good man until the sixth month. He has mean to me when that hit. He hit me when I didn't do something right. The only time he didn't hit me was when I was pregnant with Jamielynn. At first he didn't believe it was kid, but he was the only one that I have ever had sex with. He eventually believed me. I don't know what snapped in him. I thought that he would snap out of it, but it never happened. As soon as we were alone after having our child, he punched me in the face.

He comes back in the kitchen dressed and ready to eat. I set the plate down in front of him. I begin to clean up. He told me that I can't eat with him unless he tells me that I can before he eats. I take it that he doesn't want to eat with me today.

"Well, I'm off for work," he says. "Tell Jamielynn that I love her." That part may not be a lie. He treats her like she is the whole world. He treats her better than he has ever treated me.

I agree and see him off. I watch as he gets into his car. He doesn't check my car. He pulls out of the driveway and leaves. I turn and go to my daughter's room. I help her take a bath and get her dressed. I already got her some toys and clothes to take.

I didn't pack very heavily. I knew that I wouldn't have the time or space to do that. I pull off this house key and throw it on the floor. I buckle Jamielynn in her car seat. I get into the driver's side throwing my purse in the passenger's seat. I pull out of the driveway and drive to the freeway. The opposite direction of his work.

"Is Daddy going to meeting us up there?" Jamielynn asks.

"Daddy isn't going to be there," I answer. "We are moving. He is staying in the house." I love the fact that we were never married. It would make things harder for this whole ordeal.

"I want Daddy to be there," she whines.

I don't know what to say. She doesn't know what he is like. He has never hit her. Not a single time. "Daddy has to stay near his job. We are going to move in with my Aunt Karla," I say hoping that works.

It seems to because she doesn't say anything else. She just plays with her doll that I gave her. I figured it would be best only bring the toys that I gave her. I don't need anything reminding her of him. I hope that one day I will be able to tell her the truth about her dad. I just don't know if that will work though.