What Goes Around Comes Around

Two pairs of bright blue eyes stared back at me as I held the computer, my face basically pressed against the screen. Aurora still had her long pretty hair, as far as I could tell. Seeing a more recent picture of her was... I can't even describe it. My heart raced like it did when we were teenagers.

The little girl, my little girl, had long curly brown hair. My hair. My hands were clammy, my breathing shallow. I blinked and blinked, wishing the picture to be clearer.

"Sidney... Please don't tell me..." I tore my eyes away from the picture and into my sisters eyes. Her eyes were wide and she looked afraid. I would have bet that I had the same frightened expression on my face. I bit my lip and nodded, confirming what she was asking me.

Her hand flew up to her mouth and tears filled her eyes. I breathed heavily, my throat constricting. I always knew the little girl was out there; I did. I just pushed back the guilt and feelings. I pushed it back to the corner of my mind, to the corner I was afraid to search through. To the things I didn't want to remember.

Seeing a face put to the memories... A face that looked so much like her mothers... It seemed so real now. I became the man that I swore I'd never become. And I bash on my own father for being a horrible dad? He stuck around, he treats Taylor alright. He didn't tell my mom that I wasn't his and that she needed to beat it because that would ruin his reputation. A hypocrite. I'm a hypocrite.

"Sidney... Oh my fucking God... You... You're a dad." Taylor sputtered out, wiping a tear that fell from her eye. I pursed my lips and looked out the window. It was raining. This was like a movie.

"I'm not a 'dad'. That requires being there, loving the child and not denying the baby. I'm a sperm doner. There's a big fucking difference, Taylor." I jumped up and ran my fingers through my hair, tugging at the roots. I began pacing the room, my heart rate rising and rising.

"Waaait, you knew about this 10 years ago?" I stopped and stared out the window, watching the rain trail down the glass. I couldn't make myself to meet her accusing gaze. Coward, coward, coward.

"Yes." I breathed, so ashamed of my selfish actions. I expected Taylor to blow up any second now; we shared the whole temper thing.

"Oh, Sid." I felt her arms go around my waist and I jumped a little, not knowing she was this close to me. I turned around and hugged her. I need this right now; I needed to know I had someone.

But you don't deserve anyone, a little voice screamed at me. Taylor pulled away and had tears trailing down her face. I hated seeing her cry but knew there was nothing I could do to stop it.

When this all came out, my father was going to be pissed. My mother was going to be pissed that I didn't tell her and what I did... She was going to be ashamed of me.

"You have to go find her, Sid. You really do. Whether you want to admit it or not, you hate your life. You do; this can fix everything. You need to fix all the shit you started. You have to go to Boston and find Aurora. You have no idea what condition she's in; she had a baby at 16 and no money, college degree or a job." The cold truth slapped me in the face then kicked me in the gut, knocking the wind right out of my lungs. She didn't have anything when she left; she had nothing. Except a baby and a suit case. I actually didn't even know where she went; until now.

"Boston? She's in Boston? How do you know?" I questioned her as she walked over to a mirror on the wall, wiping away to mascara stains on her pale cheeks.

"I heard her bitch of a mother say something about it before. Apparently, her dad lives there. I'll tell Dan and mom and dad that you went on a little trip to Boston. Okay?" She grabbed my arm and started dragging me towards the door. I walked along with her, feeling as confused as ever. I didn't know where exactly to go; or what to say or do... I knew Aurora was going to be angry. Scratch that, she was going to be furious. And she had every right in the world to want to kill me.

With a quick hug, I stepped into the hallway. "It's never too late, big bro. You fucked up big time and I'm going to kick your ass when you feel less like shit, just so you know."

I smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you." I was so lucky to have a sibling like her. I always knew that and never took advantage; like I had everything else in my life.

"I want to meet my niece so try to smooth things over. Love you too, you asshat." I smirked and turned away, taking off at a sprint down the hallway.

By the time I reached my car, I was absolutely soaked. I ignored it and whipped out my phone, pulling up my Jet Blue app. I bought a ticket to Boston, and booked a hotel room within 5 minutes. The beauties of an iPhone.

I leaned back and let out a heavy sigh. This was really happening, after 10 years.

Another fear crept its way into place. What if she wouldn't let me see the girl? Would she really do that? Could sweet, little Aurora do that? I'm not sure. I don't know how badly I fucked her up.