51 Days.

"So how's the tour so far?" Jack asked making conversation. I'm glad he did because we probably would've walked in silence. I'm so bad with starting a conversation. "It's been one day." "A fun filled day though, right?" "I guess, I got to meet you guys." "Aha, and you've made a friend." He said tagging a small laugh behind. "I guess you're referring to Alex right?" I asked. "Yup." "So, uh, he was your favorite before then right?" "I don't choose favorites." I said with a common lying smirk. "C'mon, spill." "Actually I don't know if I should admit this or not.." "What?" "No, I can't it's not fair." I said teasing. "You so choose favorites." "You're so dramatic. It doesn't even matter." "Awe come on?" "Maybe after the party when I've been drinking." "We're all going to be drunk and I won't remember. Tell meee." "It was you. Was." "Really?" "You can ask everyone in the band, it was definitely you. But that doesn't count anymore because I've met you guys." "I can so go rub this in Alex's face now." "No you can't!" I protested. "Oh come on, he gets favorited the most anyways, why can't I mock him that someone actually important to him perferes me." "Preferred you mean." "Say what you want but you still want all of this." Jack said gesturing to his body. "I don't want any of that." "Oh whatever. " He laughed. I fell quiet hoping he'd drop it. "So, how would everyone in the band know it was me?" "How could they not? I bought only your poster and I remember when I met you like three years ago, I cried. Uh, your name was all over my binder, along with your picture all in my locker. But that was when I first heard you guys. I slowly faded from the fangirl stage, but you were, were, still my favorite." "You only bought my poster?" "With the occasional full band posters." "Man this is awesome. I can't wait to see Alex's face when I tell him." "Why would he care?" "What?" "Why would he care?" "I heard that, I was meaning, what, you can't see it?" "No." I asked raising an eyebrow. I mean, yeah Alex and I have gotten a little close but come on it's been one day. He's jumping to conclusions. "Eh, it's not my place." "Wait what? I'm so confused. You also agreed I was cute not just Alex." "Correction, hot not cute, and Alex uh, enjoys your presence. He thinks you have a cool personality." "Are you saying you don't enjoy my presence and you don't think I have a cool personality?" "No, that's not what i'm saying." He laughed in fluster. "I don't know, like I said it's not my place." "Jack, i'm kidding, I get what you're saying but it's the first day of tour. It's not like it's anything serious. Nothing on tour is ever serious." "Wow that was a bold statement." "If things were serious on tour I would probably be dating Derrek right now." "So are you saying you're saying you can kiss, fuck, do something totally inappropriate on this tour with one of us and it wouldn't be serious?" "Kinda, I mean I've done everything along those lines with Derrek, except fuck, but that's Derrek, i've known him forever. I probably wouldn't do anything too extreme with someone I barely know." "Aha, looks like we've arrived." He mentioned as we passed through the gate. "No one is really here yet. Mind to come with me to get a drink?" He asked. "Wow, drinking already." "By the time everyone gets here I'll be drunk and the life of the party." "Good plan." I said grabbing two bottles and handed one to him then opened my own. "Hey!" I heard a loud yell from behind. I turned around to see the rest of the guys. I reluctantly ran and jumped into Derrek's arms. "I've already started drinking. You guys are slow." I said as he put me down. "I'm guessing she does that often since no one else here is really reacting to it." Zack laughed. "I don't even bother to ask anymore." Alex chimed in. Soon more people crowded in and I tried my best to not stand in the corner. I being alone in crowds. It made my anxiety rise extremely high. An hour later, that's where I ended up anyways. I'm know as a hard ass partier but they never actually see me in the party, just how many I go to. "Hey." I heard a familiar voice behind me. I looked up from the ground to see Alex. "Hey." "I haven't seen you all night." "Yea, I've kinda missed you." I admitted. "Kinda?" He smiled. I swished the little bit of alcohol I had left around in the bottle. "Jack's over there half naked." He added a small laugh. His laugh was so contagious, made me smile and laugh along. "Man, he really does get crazy doesn't he?" "I figured you knew that." "I did but I didn't want to seem like a crazy obsessed fan." "Thinking about it, you probably are. You someone ended up on the same bus as us." "Shut up you know I'm not." I said turning away. I felt a hand on my arm lightly pulling me back to face him. Our eyes met and he quickly removed his hand. "I uh, I think I'm going to go back to the bus. Tell the guys." "Why?" "Just not feeling it." "I'll come with you." It was an excuse to get out of this crowd. "I uh, don't think you should be alone. I'll keep you company." I added. "If you don't want to be in the crowd just-" "Shush, let's go." I said pushing him out the gates. "Wait, wait where are you guys going?" Jack asked making our way over to us. He was wearing only a jacket, his underwear, and socks. "Back to the bus." Alex spoke for us. "Oh with Adrienne, I get it." "Jack we're not going to do anything." I said reassuringly. "You said it yourself earlier, nothing on tour is serious." Alex looked back at me raising an questioning bushy eyebrow. "Come on let's go Alex." I said rushing off. "What's he talking about?" "Uh, I said something like nothing on tour is serious." "I got that." "So he asked if that meant kissing, fucking, y'know and I said it does." "Like no strings attached?" "I mean I guess." "So I.. could you know kiss you right now and it would be nothing serious?" "Yea, but I couldn't allow that on the first night." I said opening the bus door and ascending inside. "But, it still would be nothing serious right?" I nodded. "Why are you in such disbelief?" "Because I knew there was something about you that was different and this is it." "So, I'm guessing you say that because you and Derrek?" "It's always been a rule for me but it definitely goes in affect with Derrek." I laughed. "Aha, you guys get wild?" He asked winking. "No, we don't do anyt- why am I talking about this to you?" "C'mon, I want to hear about your's and Derrek's sexlife." He said jokingly. "Nope, no sex." I cleared up. "Really?" "Don't be surprised!" I lightly smacked him. "No- no that's not what I mean-" "Are you calling me a whore?" I asked dramatically. "No, goddamn it.""I was joking, it's okay." "I wasn't calling you a whore." "I know Alex." I placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Why did you make up an excuse to leave?" I was hoping he forgot. "You're a bad liar." He added. "I uh, it's a really long story." "I don't see the guys coming back for awhile." I took a seat on the couch. He eased himself down next to me. "It's so stupid I don't know why i'm hung over it." "It's why you have anxiety isn't it?" Seriously how does know this? "How?" I asked tagging a small laugh behind. "Like I said, I have it too. My brother died and the last time we spoke was a stupid argument." "I uh, was a shy kid back in highschool." "Really?" "Yeah really, I was so shy I wouldn't even talk to the teachers. I hated it- I still hate it. I ruined my highschool years sitting back with no friends and never talking to anyone. I made a pack senior year to make it different and it wasn't really working out. I just couldn't change myself, until Derrek moved to my school. I don't know what gave me the courage to talk to him but and helped me with that. That's how the band started but still every time I get on stage I see those kids and I feel like they look up to me but I'm not someone to look up to, I don't want them to be like that. That's why I try to keep it hidden by doing stupid shit and partying but when I noticed you were leaving, I saw opportunity.""Wow, that was a lot." "Yea, I'm sorry I didn't mean to throw that on you." "No, I'm glad you did. You know it helps to talk about it but you know those kids look up to you and they're not there to judge you." "Thanks, I told you it was stupid. Here you are having anxiety because your brother died." "Anxiety is anxiety, no matter what caused it. It's a horrible thing." He was right, it's awful. I pondered the next question in my head wondering if I should ask it. "How did you cope after you told everyone your brother died?" I finally asked. "They kind of found out themselves but when I actually confirmed it, I went home and broke down. I didn't have anyone to talk to and that's what really hurt me. I'm always here if you need to talk." He sent an assuring smile. "Thanks." I said putting my arms around him and lightly hugged him. "I'm glad I did though because it really helped me. It's easier to go on stage and face crowds." "Thanks Alex, really." "Alright enough of the deep talk bullshit. Want to watch a movie?" "Yea, I brought Sweeny Todd." "Awesome, I'm always up for Tim Burtan and Johnny Depp." I stood up and went to my suitcases grabbing the dvd case out of the front pocket. I returned to the couch to see it covered with an Adventure Time blanket and two pillows. Alex sat there smiling like a kid. "Wow you got busy." I laughed putting the movie into the dvd player. I sat down and looked over at him. "This is a small couch." I whined. "There's nowhere else to watch it; the back couch is just as small." "I know." I shrugged and slumped on the couch and placed my back against his shoulder. "This may be comfortable on your end but not on mine" He said laughing. "Fine, but you're going to have to deal with my feet." I said attempting to turn around. "You're pretty short right?" He stopped me. "Uh yeah?" "Come here." He said pulling me down to lay down in front of him. "Scoot down." He instructed and I looked up at him. "Just do it." He laughed. I did as he said, "Perfect, I can see over you." "I'm awkwardly closer to your penis now." I laughed. "SH!" He yelled loudly causing me to jump. We started laughing and he added "The movie's on." I scooted around until I was completely comfortable and pulled the blanket over me. "Wow you are the worse person to watch a movie with." "I'm sorry you made me on lay on the very edge of the couch." He pushed himself back and threw his arm around me pulling me back further. "Better?" "Yeah."