In My Dreams It's Me And You

"Brian," I whispered, agilely climbing on top of his sleeping form and placing myself on top of his hips, "Brian, wake up."

Stretching his arms above his head, Brian opened his eyes. They widened in surprise when he finally focused his vision and found me on top of him. "Natalie? What... what are you doing here?" he asked even as his hands found their way to my hips.

I leaned down and placed a lingering kiss on his lips. "What do you think?" I asked in return, pulling my shirt over my head and leaning down for another kiss.

Brian's lips, not wanting to lose contact, followed my own as I pulled away. "We could get into serious trouble, Natalie. We could get caught," he countered, his breaths becoming heavy as I trailed my mouth down his neck.

"It's a risk I'm willing to take. I want you right now," I whispered, lowering myself to place a kiss just above Brian's boxers.

His entire body trembling from the touch, Brian asked, "Are you sure?"

"As sure as I am that I love you," I answered, letting him flip me over so that I was now underneath him.

I awoke with a start, my heart pounding and a familiar tingling in my lower stomach. Zack was still sleeping peacefully beside me, completely unaware of my situation. Taking a deep breath, I silently climbed over him and dropped my feet to the floor. I tip-toed my way to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water, thankful that everyone else on the bus was in an alcohol-induced sleep. A pair of hands placed themselves on either side of me on the counter, making me jump in surprise.

"I just had the most amazing dream," Brian whispered, his body pressed against my back and his mouth dangerously close to my neck. "Would you like to know what it was?"

I gulped and held as still as I could, but not able to shake the feeling of Brian's body against mine. "Sure," I whispered, closing my eyes.

Brian's hands dropped from the counter and rested just above my knees. "Well, I was in my bunk, sleeping. Someone whispered in my ear, 'Brian, wake up'. When I did, you were on top of me, in only a shirt." I felt Brian's hands slide up my legs, now resting about mid-thigh. "I asked you what you were doing in my bunk and you kissed me and responded, 'What do you think?' before pulling your shirt off. I told you we could get in trouble or even caught. Do you know what you said?"

As Brian's hands traveled even further up my leg, I threw my head back on his shoulder and asked, "What did I say?"

Brian kissed the side of my neck. "You said it was a risk you were willing to take, because you wanted me. Then you placed a kiss just above my boxers and it drove me wild, it felt so good. I asked you if you were sure."

Rough, calloused fingers massaged the very inside of my thighs and pushed my panties aside. "What... what happened next?" I whimpered, my arm wrapped around his neck and clinging for support.

"You said you were as sure about making love to me as you were about the fact that you love me," Brian spoke, his voice as gentle as the fingers that teased my entrance. "And now I'm going to ask you, are you sure about this ? This isn't a dream, Natalie, and I need to know."

My entire body ached to be touched, to be touched by Brian. I wanted him so badly it hurt. I couldn't do it, though. I couldn't cheat on Zack, even if it was what I wanted, what I craved.

"No," I whispered, barely audible. "I can't do this."

As quiet as I thought I was, Brian heard me. Slowly, he let his hands fall from my body, leaving his chest pressed against my back as the only contact between us. He then took me by surprise yet again and held my hands in his own. "I'll do whatever it takes, Nat. I'll wait, if that's what it takes. I'll find a way to make you jealous, if that's what it takes. I'll do anything, just so you can see what you mean to me and be mine," he breathed, kissing my neck softly before letting go of my hands and backing away from me.

When I finally turned around, I was alone. I let out a deep, shuddering breath and felt tears prick my eyes.

What was wrong with me?