In My Dreams It's Me And You

Natalie was nowhere to be found, and I frowned to myself as a result. She had just gone to use the bathroom so I didn’t know what was taking so long.

“Are you and Nat calling it a night?” Matt asked, squinting his blood-shot and bleary eyes at me. The partying of the group had gone on well into the early hours of the morning and everyone, with the exceptions of Jimmy and Johnny, was slowly leaving the club to go up to their rooms.

I nodded my head and replied, “If she ever comes back from the bathroom, that is.”

“Do you want me to send Val to check on her?”

Shaking my head, I told him no. “It’s only been a little bit, anyways. I’m just drunk as fuck and have no concept of time or reality,” I chuckled. “I’ll go get her. Night, bro.”

Matt grinned and slapped me on the back. “Night, Gates. Try not to be too loud tonight, okay? Nat’s still my cousin and I don’t need to hear her screaming your name from down the hall,” he said.

I laughed and replied, “I’ll try my best not to make her scream too much.” With that, I left Matt behind and started walking toward the bathroom. Despite the fact that everyone in V.I.P was starting to clear out due to the time of the morning, it still seemed as though the room was very crowded and I couldn’t make my way across it. Everywhere I turned there were more people, and in my drunken mind, it appeared as though they knew I was looking for my girlfriend so we could get the fuck out of here, and as a result were doing everything they could to block my path.

Exhaustion from the night’s events starting to set in, I began to get impatient. All I wanted to do was grab my girlfriend and go back to our room to go to sleep, but even that simple desire was proving too much to ask. I sighed as I approached another group of people. “Fuck off, asshole!” I snarled when someone I had bumped into glared and cursed at me. “Fucking drunks have no fucking manners,” I grumbled, the fact that I was one of those drunks completely irrelevant.

By the time I reached the hallway the bathrooms were in, I was extremely irritated. Drunkenness, lack of sleep, and a club full of people was not the best combination for me at that moment. That moment was about to get a hell of a lot worse for me in just a matter of seconds, though.

Walking around the corner, I came face to face with Natalie kissing another guy. No… not just another guy…. Zack. “What the fuck is going on here?” I screamed, causing Zack to push Natalie away and send her stumbling backwards to the ground. “What the hell is your fucking problem?!”

“Brian… it wasn’t what it looked - ”

“Don’t you dare fucking finish that sentence!” I bellowed, Zack wincing as Natalie stared at me incredulously. “I just fucking found you kissing another man, my best friend. Don’t tell me it wasn’t what it looked like.”

Even completely wasted, Natalie stood her ground against me. “It wasn’t,” she growled lowly. “If you would let me fucking explain - ”

“Explain what?! What is there to explain, Natalie? You just cheated on me, simple as that. I might be drunk, but I’m not blind or stupid.” By this time, the rest of our group had cleared everyone else out of the hallway and bathrooms to give us some privacy.

Natalie approached me and I took a step back. “ He came on to me, Brian. You know I would never cheat on you, not even as completely fucked up as I am right now. Please, you have to believe me,” she pleaded.

I shook my head and pulled my arm back when she reached out to lay her hand on me. “No.” Natalie’s jaw wobbled and I watched as the tears formed in her eyes. “I don’t fucking believe you, because I know you still have feelings for him.”

“Brian…”

“Don’t, Natalie,” I cut her off. “I can’t do this right now.”

As I turned to walk away, Natalie yanked my arm back and turned me around. She slapped me across the face and then drove her fist into my jaw once I had recovered from the first hit. “I can’t believe you, Brian,” she hissed, the tears streaming down her face. “I can’t believe that after all that we’ve been through, you would think I’m capable of cheating on you. With Zack of all people! You know that I love you with every ounce of my being, and you’re just going to throw it all away - ”

“I’m not the one who’s throwing it all away,” I interrupted. Malice laced my words, and I knew, but didn’t care, that they stung her to the core. “You’re the one who cheated, Natalie, not me. We’re done.”

Natalie watched me with sad eyes, her bottom lip quivering. I could see it in her face; her heart was breaking. “Don’t do this, Brian. Please don’t do this,” she whispered, taking another half step toward me.

Stiffening my jaw, I shook my head and turned away. I walked past all our friends without a word, Natalie’s sobs as she finally broke down reaching my ears. My own heart broke as I made my way to the door. I couldn’t believe the love of my life cheated on me.

I awoke with a start, a cold sweat covering my body. The nightmare from the night before had become just that, and I ran my hands over my face as I recovered. I looked around my bed, half expecting to see Natalie lying peacefully beside me. My heart became heavy when I realized that she was nowhere to be found, and that I had indeed ended our relationship last night.

“What the fuck was I thinking?” I groaned, throwing myself back on the bed and closing my eyes. My head pounded with the hangover I had and the tears I had shed once I’d returned to the room. The scene replayed itself like a looped tape and with each reviewing, I began to question my reaction. Now that I thought about it, Natalie’s words started to make sense.

“He came on to me, Brian. You know I would never cheat on you, not even as completely fucked up as I am right now.”

Even though I couldn’t remember clearly who was kissing who when I walked up, I knew that Natalie had been telling the truth when she said she’d never cheat on me. That fact alone made me feel like a fool for my reaction; I really had thrown it all away, just like she said. I yelled in frustration and pressed my palms into my eyes, trying to force the aching from my head and from my heart.

As I lay limply in my bed, I heard my room door opened. I knew from the sound of the footsteps that it was Matt, and I prepared myself for the beating I knew I was about to get.

“Get up,” he ordered upon entering the bedroom. Not wanting to test my luck, and grateful for the fact he hadn’t laid me out, I followed Matt’s directions. I dressed quickly and followed Matt from the room, walking down the hall to his and Val’s. From outside I could hear sobbing, and I instinctively knew it was Natalie. The crying got quieter as Val undoubtedly moved her to another room, and Matt opened the door to let us in. Natalie’s cries were audible once again and I felt remorse hit my body in waves as I realized I was the cause. “You wanna know how long she’s been crying like that?” Matt asked suddenly, drawing my attention to him. His eyes were dark with murderous rage and I immediately looked away, shaking my head. “She started the moment you walked away, continued while Val and I took her to our room, and cried for two more hours before she fell asleep. Two separate times she woke up crying after that, and the tears haven’t stopped since she actually got up an hour ago.”

Wet tears of my own escaped my lashes as I looked at the ground, and I could hear only Natalie’s crying in the next room. I can’t believe I’m putting her through this.

“You do know that she was telling the truth, right?” Matt questioned. “Zack admitted that he came on to her, and you walked up literally right as soon as he did so. You got the whole situation wrong.”

I let out a shuddering breath and nodded my head. “I know she would never cheat on me,” I whispered. “She loves me.”

Matt growled lowly in his throat and I felt fear travel down my spine and throughout my body. “That must not mean much to you, Haner, for you to throw it all away like you did. You’ve broken her heart, you know that, don’t you?” I nodded my head, and much like you can feel the suspense in a movie building, I felt the tension building as Matt progressively got angrier with me. “Trust me, I know what it looked like and on one level I can understand why you reacted the way you did. The fact that you were drunk off your ass didn’t help anything. I also understand that at this point, you’re wishing you could kick Baker’s ass and then your own for what happened. But what you have to understand is that I’m fucking livid with you. I warned you that you wouldn’t get away with hurting Natalie, and I meant it. I love you like a brother, Brian, and you know that. Natalie is my flesh and blood, though, and I have to protect her when she’s vulnerable.”

“I know,” I responded, braving a look up at Matt. His eyes were still as dark and menacing as before, and I could already feel the ache in my body. Taking a deep breath, I turned towards him. “I’m sorry, Matt. I love her so much, and I’m sorry for what I’ve done.”

Face remaining as emotionless as stone, Matt put his hand on my shoulder and responded, “I know you love her, and I know you are. Don’t take this personally.”

Not allowing me to respond, Matt brought his fist up and drove it square into my jaw, much like Natalie had the night before, only with more force and more precision. Just before my vision faded to black, I swear I saw remorse flash in Matt’s hazel eyes. Whether it was because he knew how much I really did regret what I’d done, or if he regretted the fact he was about to beat one of his best friends unconscious, I don’t know.