In My Dreams It's Me And You

I woke up much later to Val handing me a bottle of water and pain killers. “How’s your head?” she asked, watching me wince as I swallowed the pills. I only groaned in response. Val sighed and stood up from her spot next to me. “I take it that means ‘it hurts like Hell’?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” I mumbled, lifting a hand to gingerly run my fingers over my jaw. Apparently Matt hadn’t stopped at knocking me out, though: the whole left side of my face was throbbing and I could now feel that my lip was split again. Upon trying to sit up, I found that my ribs were sore as well. “How long was I out?” I asked groggily.

Val crossed her arms over her chest, tapping her pointer finger against her pursed lips. “Well, after Matt knocked your ass out, he beat you senseless until I came back into the room. That right there was about fifteen minutes, and then it took me another five to find Jimmy to help me pull Matt off you. He left right after that an hour or so ago, which means you’ve been out for just about an hour and a half.”

I groaned and ran my hand down my face, hissing when I pressed too heavily on my jaw. “Where is Natalie?” Despite all the pain I was in, she was still my first concern.

“Matt finally got her to leave the room to eat. She left when he did,” Val replied. My eyes widened and she guessed what I had been thinking. “Don’t worry, she didn’t see you like this. It only would have distressed her more than she already is. Speaking of which, you and I need to have a talk, Haner.”

Sighing, I carefully leaned back down on the bed I had been put in. “Please Val, not now. Don’t you think I feel bad enough? I’ve fucked up the best thing to ever happen to me all because I jumped to conclusions.”

“I don’t give a fuck how guilty you feel, Brian!” Val shrieked, making me jump. She grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me back into a sitting position, ignoring my groans of pain and protest. I gulped and shrunk into myself. She might not be as physically big as Matt, but Val was sure as Hell just as scary as him when it came to her temper. “Do you have any clue what you’ve done?” she continued. “Natalie cried all fucking night, Brian! Even when she finally went to sleep, she woke up bawling her eyes out. On top of all that, she refuses to eat. She wouldn’t eat, Brian. I practically had to force feed her an orange before you came here, and then she puked it up anyway. You honestly have no clue what you’ve done to her.”

I felt the tears sliding down my face, but I didn’t bother to waste the energy wiping them away. I knew more would only replace them. “I never meant to hurt her, Val. That was never my intention - ”

“So what was your intention when you literally screamed in her face last night that you two were over? Huh, Brian? What did you mean to do, other than break her heart?” Val interjected, the color rushing to her face as her anger started to build.

“Don’t fucking scream at me, Valary!” I remarked defensively. “What I did was wrong, there’s no doubt about that. But it’s not my fucking fault she kissed Zack! How did you expect me to respond to that?!”

Val swooped her arm down and smacked me across the face, the sound resonating throughout the room. “How dare you,” she hissed, her eyes narrowed into slits. “How dare you believe even for a second that she wanted that kiss? You KNOW Natalie only has feelings for you; what she and Zack had is done and over with. He forced himself on her, and he even admitted that himself.”

Feeling myself quickly losing any type of argument I had, I quipped, “Yeah, well, she didn’t have to kiss him back. I’m justified on that aspect.”

Val’s hand met my face again and I groaned as she slapped the side of my face that was bruising. “What part of this aren’t you getting, Haner?” she asked in frustration. “Natalie loves you. I don’t know what that means in your world, but you should know that to her, it means that she only wants you. I’m not sure if you remember, but I walked up right as you did, and she was in the process of pushing him away from her. And from the look on her face, she definitely wasn’t happy about what had just happened. But you, being the fuckhead that you are, didn’t allow her a chance to explain. And you know what? I hope it comes back to bite you in the ass. I hope she gives you hell. I hope she makes you beg for her to take you back… if she takes you back at all. I know if Matt had done this to me, we’d be done. Although you know what? Matt would never do something like this to me. He loves me enough to know that I would never hurt him like you think Natalie’s done to you. I love you like a brother, Brian, but I’m taking Natalie’s side on this. You’ve fucked up big time, and I hope you suffer,” she finished, her chest heaving with the heavy breaths she was taking.

I hung my head low, not having the balls enough to look at Val. All the fight in me was diminished, and I felt like a grade-A dickhead. I knew she was right and I’d fucked up. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to believe Natalie kissed Zack, I thought to myself. Then on top of that, I broke up with her because of it! God, I’m such a fuck-up. “What am I going to do, Val?” I asked desperately, resting my head in my hands as I leaned over and placed my elbows on my knees. “I can’t lose her, I just can’t.”

Carefully sitting down next to me, Val rubbed my back soothingly. “I don’t know, Brian,” she replied. “What you did has really fucked Natalie up. She didn’t think you would ever do something like this to her. I don’t know how you’re going to fix this.”

I sighed and felt the first of many tears follow the tracks of the ones I’d let fall earlier. My sobs eventually grew in intensity, and my whole body shook with the force of them. Val hugged me against her side, continuing to gently rub my back. At this point it didn’t matter to me how unlike Synyster Gates I appeared to be; I could care less that I wasn’t the badass I was everywhere else. At that point in time, it was pretty damn clear to me I had lost the woman I loved, the woman who had changed me. The reality of that likelihood made me cry harder, and Val comforted me as best she could.

When the tears had finally stopped falling from my eyes and the tracks on my face had long since dried, I slowly pulled away from Val’s embrace and lifted my head. During the time that I had cried, I thought about everything that had brought me to that point. It was then that I realized it wasn’t only my fault that I had broken up with Natalie, it was also partially Zack’s fault. If it weren’t for him trying to kiss her, what happened last night would never have taken place. In my mind, it only made sense that he suffer as well.

“Where is Baker?”