In My Dreams It's Me And You

(Nat’s POV)

“Oh my God!”

“When the hell did this happen?!”

“I’m so excited for you!”

“…I think I need to sit down.”

I couldn’t help but crack a smile at the stark contrast between Val’s reaction and Matt’s. Brian chuckled and squeezed my hip lightly, his arm wrapped securely around my waist as we stood in front of our friends in the living room. As Matt gingerly lowered himself onto the couch, Val jumped out of her seat and came running at me.

“You two have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this!” she exclaimed animatedly, throwing her arms around both of us. “It’s about damn time you two pull your heads out of your asses and realize that you belong together!”

Brian, the smartass that he is, smirked and responded, “We’ve been back together for over two weeks, Valary.”

Val scowled and smacked him playfully upside the head. “Haha Haner, you’re so funny, being all literal and shit,” she countered. Turning to me, she added, “He’s intolerable, Nat. Are you really sure you want to marry him?”

“Hey! You were just saying how perfect we are together - ”

Putting a hand over Brian’s mouth, I silenced his protests and giggled, “I’m positive, Val. He can be a cocky, arrogant jackass - ”

“Come on!” Brian exclaimed, pushing my hand away. “What is this, bash Brian day?”

“- but he’s my cocky, arrogant jackass,” I finished.

Jimmy, who was sat on the ground next to the couch, grinned and said, “It’s a good thing, too. You’re probably the only woman in the world who isn’t Brian’s mom that can take his bullshit in stride.” Valary and I burst into laughter while Brian glared at Jimmy, who smiled in return.

“Is there anything else anyone would like to say that is derogatory in fashion?” Brian asked dramatically. Johnny opened his mouth to respond and Brian quipped, “It was a rhetorical question, Short Shit.”

“Too damn bad, Gates,” Johnny answered, a devilish grin on his face. “I just gotta say that you are one lucky son of a bitch because Jimmy’s right: Natalie is probably the only woman in the world who loves you enough to stick by your side despite the stupid shit you pull. That said, I think I speak for all of us when I say that if you fuck this up… well, you’re a dumbass who deserves to have his ass beat.”

Wrapping one arm around Brian’s waist, I rested my other hand on his chest and interrupted, “Hey now, Brian wasn’t the only one at fault for what happened; I played my part as well.”

“That is true,” Valary agreed, “and since the guys can’t threaten to kick your ass if you screw up, I’ll do it. Natalie Sanders, if you and your stubborn ways fuck this up, I swear I’ll kick your ass to the moon and back!”

“Our friends sure have a strange way of showing their support, don’t they?” Brian murmured, kissing the top of my head. I nodded my agreement and looked over at Matt.

Breaking away from my fiancé, I walked over to my cousin. He watched as I approached and smiled gently. “What about you, Mattie?” I asked quietly. “What do you think?”

Matt heaved a heavy sigh and braced his hands on his knees as he leaned forward toward me. He then reached out and grabbed my left hand, rubbing his thumb softly over my fingers as he scrutinized my engagement ring. “I think Haner must’ve had help picking this ring out, because there’s no way he could’ve picked something this beautiful out for himself,” he finally answered, looking up at me with a dimpled smile that mirrored my own. Matt promptly got to his feet and enveloped me in a bone-crushing hug, relieved tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. “If this is what you want, and what makes you happy,” he whispered, “then I’m okay with it.”

Pulling away as the others chattered happily about Matt’s positive reaction, I smiled and nodded my head. “Marrying Brian is exactly what I want,” I promised him. “There’s no doubt in my mind he’ll continue to make me happier than I have been in years.”

“Well in that case, when the hell is this wedding going down?” Matt asked, making Val squeal with excitement as the fact finally hit her that there was now a wedding to plan.

Before Val could reach me and bombard me with questions, Brian strode over and wrapped his arms around me from behind. “We haven’t set a date yet, but we’re thinking some time this fall,” he smiled. This must’ve been enough for Valary, for she instantly began talking about outdoor versus indoor weddings, color themes, flowers, guest lists, locations…

“Where did Zack go?” I asked Brian quietly as Val continued to rattle off a list of things we’d need to decide about our wedding.

Brian sighed and replied, “He came up and congratulated me, gave me a hug, and then disappeared.” I looked at Brian and bit down my lip, concern setting in. “My best guess is that he went outside for a smoke, if you wanted to go look for him.”

“That won’t make you mad, will it?” I asked. I wasn’t looking for permission - I was going to do it anyway - but if it was going to cause a fight, I wanted to know.

Shaking his head, Brian placed a kiss on my lips. “He’s your friend too, Natalie, and as much as I hate to admit it, he’s got feelings for you. Granted, they aren’t as strong as mine, but that doesn’t make them less important,” he said. Brian kissed me again, a little more ardently than the first time, and pulled away to look into my eyes. “I know who your heart belongs to, Nat, and I know I don’t have to worry about losing you. Go talk to him.”

“You amaze me, Brian Haner,” I told him, a smile on my face as he leaned down and pecked my lips yet again.

A brief smirk crossed his face as he responded, “One of the many services I offer, and the numerous reasons you love me.”

I laughed and shook my head, not bothering to deny the fact, before going off to find Zack. I had a pretty decent idea of where he would be, so I knew I wouldn’t have to look very hard. A brief trek through the house, out the back doors, across the backyard, and onto the beach behind Matt’s house led me to him - just as I suspected it would.

Zack was sitting on the sand, his back to me and feet pulled up to his chest as he looked out at the Pacific Ocean. A quiet sigh left him as I approached.

“Zack?” I asked, softly padding up to him and resting a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey Nat,” he greeted, turning to smile at me as I joined him on the ground. I tucked my legs under me Indian-style and placed my hands in my lap. “Could I see your ring?” he asked shyly, and I saw the color rush to his face as he asked. Nodding my head, I reached across myself and rested my left hand on his left knee. His rough, calloused fingers - so similar to Brian’s in so many ways - brushed gently against my own as he gazed at my ring. Finally, he took my hand and kissed the back of it before putting it in my lap. “That ring is almost as beautiful as you are,” he told me.

I blushed and thanked him before turning my body to face him. “Why did you leave so quickly?”

Sighing, Zack ducked his chin so it was resting on top of his knees. “Is it really that much of a mystery?” he chuckled, and my face reddened yet again. Sensing my embarrassment, Zack reached out and patted my leg. “It’s okay, Nat, we all have our blonde moments.”

“Shut up,” I giggled, swatting his hand away. Looking into Zack’s jade green eyes, my heart dropped at the sight of the pain he harbored, pain which he was outwardly hiding so well…

“Hey, don’t worry about me,” he said, reaching out and shaking my shoulder lightly, “I’ll be fine.”

I swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in my throat and felt the familiar prick of tears at the corners of my eyes. Twisting the ring on my finger back and forth, I looked back up at Zack. “This might have been us,” I whispered.

Zack sighed and unfolded his body before opening his arms for me to hug him. I wrapped my arms around his waist from the side and rested my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes as the sound of the waves hitting the beach and the scent of Zack’s cologne and the cigarette he’d been smoking entered my nostrils. “Yeah, it might have been,” he answered, “but it appears that fate had different ideas. We can’t cry about that, Natalie. Some things just aren’t meant to be.”

“I know,” I answered. “I guess I just hate having ‘What Ifs’ in my life.”

“Do you regret our time together, Natalie?” Zack asked suddenly. I sputtered a ‘no’ and Zack shrugged his shoulders. “Then there’s nothing to wonder about. You and I had a great relationship, but it wasn’t meant to work out. The way I see it, we should both view our time together as something spectacular, something that helped us to see that as well as we get along as friends, we’re not meant to be lovers. Maybe one day in the distant future, or maybe in a different life, but not now. You belong with Brian, and I… well, I’ll eventually find the girl I’m looking for.”

Smiling, I squeezed Zack in a hug and laughed, “It seems like you’re dealing with this better than I am.”

“Hey, I never said it wasn’t easy,” Zack commented. “Just because I’ve accepted it doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck to see the girl I love getting married to my best friend. But it’s something that I can live with. What you have to ask yourself, and I don’t mean to be offensive whatsoever, is if marrying Brian and making that commitment to him is really what you want.”

As much as I knew Zack would always be important to me, and as much as I would wonder about what we could have been, I knew that Brian was the one for me and there was no way around that. A grin split across my face at the thought and I said, “I couldn’t ask for more in my life at this point, Zack.”

Zack smiled back at me and hugged me tightly before disengaging himself from me. “Then be happy, woman! You and Haner are going to have a great life together, I can already see it, and I wouldn’t want anything but that for the two of you.”