Mirrors

7:09pm

Fixing my hair up into a ponytail, I sighed inwardly as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Hudson was going to be here soon. No more hiding, I needed to swallow my pride and fear, and face this. The knocking on the front door made my stomach do a somersault, but I worked up the nerve to shut the light off and leave the bathroom.

Coming out of my bedroom, I made my way down the stairs and saw Hudson standing in the foyer with my brother and parents greeting him.

When he noticed me he gave a half-smile, so I gave a small smile back as I approached the landing. "Hi." I quietly spoke, my hands tucked into the back pockets of my jeans.

"Hi. I brought you these." He replied, lifting a small bunch of daisies. I smiled, although there was an obvious tension between us and an awkwardness with my parents and brother standing not far off.

I held and admired them, gently feeling the petals between my fingers. "They're lovely." He watched me and there was a silence throughout the room until my mom cleared her throat, "Well, let's give the kids some privacy. Avery, would you like me to put those in a vase and water for you?"

"Sure." I handed them to her. As they went into the other room, I turned my attention back to Hudson. "Did you wanna go upstairs? To talk." I asked.

He nodded and silently followed me up the stairs to my bedroom. I sat on the edge of my bed as he quietly shut the door behind himself. He stilled for a moment as his eyes studied the room, all the pictures, old posters, paintings and random things on the walls and around the room. I couldn't help but stare at him, that look in his eyes was look of...fascination.

Slowly he walked toward my old desk that had old books on it, mostly notebooks and journals that were filled and falling apart. Above it were polaroids of me when I was a young teenager; one was of me and Amelia at the Coney Island amusement park when we were 15. And another was one of my favourites, it was of Jonny, Paulie, and I at the beach when I was 7 years old. I was wearing a Sylvester the Cat swimsuit and I wore red heart-shaped sunglasses.

He gently touched the pictures as he admired them. He brought his hand back to himself and quietly cleared his throat, turning to face me. "I've never been in your room before. When I'm in here it's like I'm getting a small glimpse of your past, your childhood. It's so happy."

I watched him.

He rubbed the back of his neck as he stood across the room from me, "Have you been taking care of yourself? Eating regularly, checking your glucose levels?"

I nodded, looking down at the floor. "Yeah, my mother has been very adamant about me and my health."

"And the baby's." He closed his eyes.

I lifted my eyes to him, "Yes."

With the tips of his fingers he rubbed his forehead and took a deep breath, "Avery...what's going on?" He sighed.

"Hudson, I'm sorry." I whispered.

"You just up and left and are hiding out here at your parent's home, you hardly talk to me, I've called time and time again. I'm just...Avery, you can't do this."

"I know. I just, freaked out over losing my job and I've been overwhelmed with so much. I just needed time to think."

"If you needed time, why didn't you just tell me? I could've backed off." He shook his head, pulling the old wooden chair from the desk and sitting down. He rested his elbows on his knees, hunched over as his hands were clasped and resting under his chin.

He continued, "Was it just the job you needed to think over? Is that why you're so overwhelmed, or is it something else?"

I blinked at him and opened my mouth to say something, but shut it again as the thought left me.

"Ave, you never talk to me anymore. You never do." He went quiet and stared at the floor for a very long time, with something on his mind, like he was struggling to say it. He opened his mouth and hesitated, "I had hoped I'd never have to ask you this, but do you still love me?"

Quickly I looked up at him and met his gaze, "Hudson, of course I do. I've always loved you."

"Then why won't you talk to me?" He looked at me with that pleading look in his eyes. "I'm your husband, I made vows to you to love and care for you, for better or worse. Instead you'd rather run off than communicate with me. Avery, I'm tired of this. You know I love you, and I'm trying so hard to make you happy, but you need to try to. I want this to work, I want us to be family. But lately it seems you don't want the same things I do. Tell me what I'm doing wrong."

I closed my eyes, my heart breaking from hearing this from him. "You're not doing anything wrong. Hudson, you are perfect. I'm so sorry that I keep hurting you."

"Are you?" He whispered, looking at me.

I stood up and walked across the room toward him, kneeling beside him. I took his hands, "Of course. I hate myself for this. I'm sorry that I keep running away. That I keep pushing you away. I want to talk to you. I miss you so much, I miss how things used to be."

"I miss that too." He breathed, placing his hand against my cheek.

"I'm sorry Hudson." I whispered, standing up and ushering him to stand with me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and he wrapped his around my shoulders, pulling me close to him. "I'm so so sorry." I murmured into his chest.

"We need to try harder." He sighed, kissing my forehead. "I love you too much to let you go. Can we please try to make this work."

Slowly I nodded though I was hesitant, my grip tightened around him and I clutched at his jacket. "Okay, but Hudson you need to be patient with me. I need time, but I wanna make this work too."

He swallowed and nodded, gently placing his hand at the back of my neck. "I will."

I half-smiled and held his wrist in my hand, I looked up at him. "Thank you." He smiled and leaned in to give me a small kiss. After a moment of him stroking the side of my face and watching me, he softly smiled. "I thought we could go out on a date...I packed us something to eat."

"Okay, yeah that sounds nice." I bit my lip, "I'll just grab a jacket and my purse." I stepped back and walked to the bed where my purse was and I stopped. Again I turned to face him , "Um, or should I just bring my bag too?"

He watched for my expression then cleared his throat, "If you're ready to come home."

I thought for a long time, trying to work out why I should stay and why I should go back, but I decided that I needed to grow up. I needed to act in a mature manner and stop running away from my problems, so I walked around the other side of the bed and knelt down to pick up my duffle bag. Grabbing the few items that were out of the bag and putting them back in.

I looked at him and offered a small smile, "I'm ready." He smiled back.

Hudson drove us in his car down a stretch of road that I was familiar with. I realized he was driving us to Brighton Beach, which was not far from where my parent's home is. I smiled as he pulled into the lot and parked the car, "I love Brighton Beach. I'd spend my summers here all the time as a kid."

"I recognized it from the picture of you and your brothers. My mum used to bring me here too." He smiled, releasing himself from the seatbelt and taking the keys from the ignition. I looked at him with surprise and I grinned, "Maybe we were at the beach at the same time back in the day. Wouldn't that've been neat?"

"Yeah, it would have." He softly spoke, looking at me with a gentle smile on his face. I began to blush, "What?"

"Nothing. I've just missed you. You look so pretty tonight." He smiled.

I blushed and rolled my eyes, "I'm a mess."

"A hot mess." He grinned

I laughed and opened my door, stepping out only to be met by the smell of the beach. The freshness of the water was a soothing scent. Soon Hudson was by side with a couple blankets under his arm and a wicker picnic basket in his hand. I lightly laughed, "You're slightly less masculine now."

He made a face, "Hey, I'm a chef. I think I can get away with holding a picnic basket of great food."

"C'mon, let's go." I took his hand and we went to find a place to sit. As I spread out a blanket for us to sit on and began to take things out of the basket, he was making a fire in the small stone pit.

I lifted a large brown paper bag out of the basket, "What's this?" I was about to open it but he quickly stopped me. "It's a surprise. I'll show you in a bit." He grinned. I smiled and put it back in the basket.

After having a delicious dinner that he made for us, I covered myself up in a blanket but buried my bare feet in the sand. The combined scent on the crackling fire and the tide coming was beautiful and comforting.

"I went to go see my dad today." He said as he watched the flickering flames of the fire. I looked up at him, "You did?"

He nodded, "I'm still...wary about him."

"It's gonna take some time." I replied.

"I know. But uh, yeah so I went to see him, it was very brief, but I told him about us and the baby."

"How'd he take it?" I asked. He softly smiled, "I've never seen him that way before. He was so happy, he was beaming. He's very happy for us."

I smiled back, "Really? That's so great."

"But I actually went there to pick something up." He reached for the basket and took out the bag. I smiled with anticipation. "Well, remember how I told you that when I was a kid, we used to live in New York before we moved to London? Well most of my childhood things were brought back to New York after my father sold the house in Notting Hill." He reached into the bag and pulled out some books and handed them to me.

Carefully I examined them and saw that they were children's books, old with fraying spines. He watched me, "These were the books my mum used to read to me."

I glanced up at him, noticing the look in his eyes. It was distant, as though he was recalling memories. Gently I ran the tips of my fingers along the covers of them; Tales of Mother Goose. Grimm's Fairy Tales. Curious George. Winnie the Pooh. The Tale of Peter Rabbit.

"Winnie the Pooh was my favourite, and Peter Rabbit too. Grimm's fairytales scared me when I was a kid." He laughed. He bit his lip and looked up at me, "I thought these would be nice to save for our child."

Slowly I smiled, my heart skipping a beat. I know that my son needs a father, I know that Hudson would be amazing. I know for the sake of my son, what my choice will be. "They're perfect. He's gonna love them."

Quickly his expression changed and he looked at me, "He? Is it a boy? Do you know?"

Giving a small laugh, I shook my head. "I don't know for sure. I just feel that he is."

He smiled and took my hand in his, "That would be really nice if he was." I laced my fingers in his, as I fiddled with the necklace he gave me. I remembered what he had said; "So when we're in London, you'll have a little piece of New York with you, and while we're here, you'll have a little piece of London with you.". I took in a breath to speak again. "Hudson?"

"Yes." He waited for me to continue.

"Let's go to London." I smiled. He smiled back, looking surprised, "Really?"

"Yeah, let's go. It's time to move. I mean, I'm no longer working now so really I have no other reason of staying here. I love New York so much, but it's time to make London our new home. For the baby, and for us."

He was grinning as he cupped my face and kissed me, "Really? Are you absolutely certain?" I smiled and kissed him back, "Positive."

"Alright, well then, how soon till we leave?" He asked. I thought for a moment, "Well, if we start packing now, we can be gone in...ten days. It's soon, I know. But we've waited too long."

"I'm very excited now. It's perfect, ten days is a huge crunch, but we can do it."

"So tonight we'll book the plane tickets-"

"We'll take my father's jet. He won't mind." He gave me a reassuring smile. "Perfect. Finally things are in motion."

"Yeah, finally." I nodded.