Mirrors

June 27th, Tuesday

"Goodbye Paris, you were so good to me." I whispered, gazing out the window of the car as the driver was taking us to the airport. The breathtaking architecture and the beautiful people in the streets, all caught my gaze and were in the reflection of the tinted windows. I softly smiled as I stared hopefully and admiringly at the Eiffel Tower, still majestic even in the day time.

Christian's hand took mine and gently held on. I turned to him as he sat beside me in the backseat, the sides of his mouth were tugged into a small smile and his comforting eyes put my heart at ease, he stroked the knuckles of my hand with his thumb. "I love you." He spoke so quietly.

Smiling back, I reciprocated.

Blair sat in the passenger seat and his attention was taken by his phone, I watched him in the rear-view mirror until he probably felt that I was watching him, and he looked up and into the mirror. We just watched each other and offered small half-hearted smiles, dampened by the deep forlorn tension amongst the three of us.

No words were needed between the two of us, as I knew what Blair would tell me, "If it were my choice, you wouldn't ever go back there." There being in London. At the house where Hudson is waiting for me to come back to.

The way he sounded on the phone, I felt as if he was distressed and eager for me to come home. He reminded me of a little boy, calling his parents asking when they'll be home. Hudson can be that way.

The dread grew stronger the closer we were to arriving at Orly, and my grip on Christian's hand tightened. There wasn't a thing anyone could say that could comfort the anxious beating of my heart and the knots in my stomach.

Going through customs and even boarding the plane were all a blur to me, as all I could think of was that in less than two hours I was to be back in London. The flight was spent listening to music, my headphones secured over my ears and my gaze glued to whatever view there was outside the window. Perhaps it was an unconscious attempt to psych myself up.

The London sky was grey and cloudy and it was drizzling rain, nearing the hour of when the sun would normally set. It seemed appropriate. I asked Hudson to just stay home and I'll meet him there, not wanting him to pick me up from the airport. Pulling up the hood of my sweater, I tried my best to blend in with everyone in the airport as the three of us briskly made our way out of the building toward the car park, to where Blair's luxury vehicle waited for us.

I had become even quieter as we drove to Blair's apartment to drop off Christian. An intense feeling in me wanted to stay with Christian here, but we all knew that I needed to go back to the house. Blair gave Christian the keys and opted to stay in the car and wait, knowing that we needed some time to ourselves.

Christian led the way up the stairs carrying his luggage, while I followed closely behind carrying his carry-on on my shoulder, clutching the strap tightly. He set down his bag and hesitating to unlock the door. For a long time he just stood there, staring down at the doorknob, with the keys in his hand.

I swallowed hard and took the keys from him and unlocked the door, opening it quickly before throwing my arms around his neck and breathing deeply. "I love you Christian, so much."

His arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me even further into our embrace. I could feel his warm tears dropping down to my neck. "Avery, I don't want you to go."

"I have to. This needs to be done, I can't run away anymore." I whispered, trying to stay strong for the both of us. I pulled away slightly to cup his face in my hands and to look into his glossy blue eyes. "I'll be back."

"When?"

I shook my head slowly, "I don't know."

He lowered his head, "I love you Ave, more than you'll ever know."

"I know." I smiled softly, standing up on my tiptoes to kiss him slowly, never wanting that kiss to end. Working up all the strength I could, I stepped back and quickly kissed him once more. "I'm coming back, I promise."

He just watched me as I quickly turned and went downstairs, my heart pounding so hard I could hear each beat loudly in my head. When I got back in the car, my hands were shaking and I needed to close my eyes to calm myself down.

"Are you okay?" Blair asked, watching me, looking relaxed in the driver's seat.

"No, I haven't been okay in a while. It's time for me to go see Hudson." I answered quietly. He reached for the shift and put the car from park into drive, pulling away from his apartment building. I needed to remind myself to breathe as I'd find myself holding my breath. The streets were becoming more and more familiar as we were approaching our neighbourhood in Kensington.

He turned the corner slowly and the vehicle approached the iron gate with an H on it, recalling memories back into my mind of when he and I first came to London, I remembered that I was so excited to see that letter on the gate. The gates then opened up allowing us to enter and Blair drove us in up to the front of the house.

When the car had come to a complete stop and he put it into park, my nerves got the best of me and I trembled in nervousness and dread. He watched me before clearing his throat and opening his door, "I'll get your suitcase."

Nodding, I too opened my door and followed him to the back of the vehicle where he lifted out my bag with ease. He gave a weak smile and offered to bring my bag in for me, but I shook my head, "No that's okay."

He lingered for a moment and cleared his throat again, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "Well kid, I've never had more fun in Paris than I did this week with you. We should do it again sometime."

My eyes pricked with tears and I hugged him, holding on tightly. He didn't hesitate to hug me back.

"Blair, thank you, for everything. You've been so amazing and so understanding." I half-smiled, "Thank you."

He nodded and stroked my hair, "No Avery, thank you. You've taught me so much over this trip. Since we first met. You mean a lot to me."

I sniffled and held my composure, gently releasing him and looking up at him in a glossy-eyed gaze and a slight smile. "I'll come back to see you and Christian after...I'm done here."

Again he nodded but this time he remained silent. I reached for my bag and went up the walkway to the door. As I entered in, I could here the sound of his car's tires on the gravel as he left. Walking in I gazed at the palatial beauty of this house. The chandelier shone a glittery lighting in the foyer and I looked around and listened for anyone, noticing that no servant had opened the door, let alone be within sight.

All I could hear was a pretty melody of a piano.

In Blair's Life

I felt like I wanted to get sick, parked outside the front of my apartment building now, I sat in the driver's seat for a long time, trying to process everything that has happened in this small amount of time. I didn't want Avery to go back, I wanted her to stay in Paris. I rubbed my eyes and sighed heavily before reaching for the handle on the door and opening it quickly, climbing out and heading to the building.

I reached the top of the stairs and inhaled deeply as I walked into my apartment. Christian sat at the kitchen island, his hands clasped, fingers entwined, and his gaze was lost in deep thought as he stared across the room. It was very quiet in the room and I could only imagine the uncertainty and possible fear he was experiencing.

"Hey." I cleared my throat and shut the door before going to join him at the counter. "How are you doing?"

He swallowed hard and closed his eyes, shaking his head. "Blair...what if she goes back to him? I don't know what's going on right now. What if he manages to convince her to stay? What if she falls for him again? I don't know what I'd do with myself if she did." A tear managed to escape from one of his eyes and he wiped it away in a frustrated way.

"Christian, she's not going back to him, I can promise you that. She loves you, the way she looks at you, the smile she gets when she even hears your name. The way she blushed when you tease her, that's all real. If it wasn't, she wouldn't have stayed with you while we were in Paris. I know it's hard to be in this situation, but she knows better than to go back to him. She loves you Christian, don't ever doubt that."

He nodded and held his head in his hands, "I know, I know. I just hate being this vulnerable."

"She does too, but she'll come back." I watched him.

"Okay." He whispered.

I could relate to his feelings. I have to admit that a part of me is in love with her. Part of it is in the same way Christian feels for her, and the other is probably in the way Andy felt about Edie. I've never been in love 'cause there's never been anyone in my life worth loving this much. But I know that she and Christian are meant to be together and I would never want to take that away from them. But now I know that my time here in London has come to an end. I no longer have a reason to stay here.