Mirrors

Wait For Me

Two Weeks Later
Saturday, July 12th

After packing a few things into my suitcase, I took out a pen from my purse and reached for my journal on the nightstand, opening it to a blank page to begin writing.

I know not much time has passed, it's been two weeks since I left London and came here to Paris. I spent my birthday mostly alone except for meeting up with Derek Blasberg, who extended his stay in Paris and decided to take me out that afternoon. Christian moved back to New York from L.A, found an apartment and wants me to live with him. And I want that too, so that's why my stay here is short-lived. Gemma and Kennedy's wedding isn't too far away either, so I want to be there for them and help Gemma with the last minute details.

I finished my article on Blair for Interview Magazine and submitted it to Christopher along with photos of Blair, ones I took from visits to his apartment in London and while we were here in Paris. They were beautiful pictures, full of memories. Even as I look around his apartment here, I can't help but smile at the thought of all the lovely memories. Christian and I had kept in touch, and from what I've heard Blair left London and is currently in Tokyo, Japan. Starting over again and reconnecting with old friends there.

I'm 23 now. I've lived for twenty-three years. It feels so small and insignificant, although so much has happened in this time. Sometimes I still feel like an 18 year old and sometimes I feel like I've lived a long, adventurous 80 years. But I feel so detached from everyone I love, and I'm growing impatient to see Christian again. He's been my touchstone. My rock. He is the stability in my life.

My time here is not a completed soul-search and that's okay. However, in this time of solitude I've had, I'm beginning to understand myself more and realize what I want in this life. Freedom to express myself; say, think, and feel what I want and to not feel self-conscious or ashamed for it. That's it. I cannot go through life being a doormat for everyone. But I know who I am meant to be in this life.

Aside from my deep thoughts and feelings, I'm eager to head back to New York and live it, with Christian and our little girl. I feel like I can truly be a happy person now as I've accepted myself. I'm ready to share this happiness with him.

There was a knock at the door and my heart skipped a beat, and for a moment all I could do was just sit and stare at the door. Again there was knocking and I wore an excited grin as I quickly stood up and made my way to the door, throwing it open, my heart pounding.

"I've missed you." I smiled lovingly at him.

Christian smiled, flowers in one hand and a fancy, lavender box from Ladurée in the other. "I've missed you more. I'm sorry I wasn't able to come out for your birthday. Can you ever forgive me?"

I lightly laughed and stood on my tiptoes, pulling him into a kiss. "Oh, I think so."

"Good." He smiled into our kiss, but I gasped and looked down at my stomach. I felt a kick. The baby kicked for the very first time. "What is it?" He looked worriedly at me.

I smiled and took the flowers from him to free his hand, placing it on my stomach, "The baby, the baby kicked!"

"No," He grinned and stilled, holding his hand gently on my belly waiting for another one. The feeling was so strange, it was very light but I knew it was a kick. "She must know that daddy's here." He laughed. Again she kicked and this time both Christian and I felt it.

"That's incredible. Just incredible." He softly smiled. Again I kissed him and kissed his cheek lightly.

For a moment I just stood before him and gazed into his kind, blue eyes, stroking his brunette locks. I softly smiled, "I love you so much Christian, I love you so very much."

♠ ♠ ♠

When I first began this series, I didn't have any plans as to where I wanted it to go. I didn't even know it would end up being a series. All I knew was that I was tired of writing fan-fiction and that I wanted to come up with something original. So I created these characters and the plot line, pouring my heart and soul into it, putting everything I had into each chapter and created something dear to my heart.

I didn't set out to create the most likeable of characters, but I wanted them to be realistic and relatable. Avery, the main and many a time disfavoured of personalities, was based off of a lot of the feelings and personal doubts I've experienced in my life. Young, naïve, insecure. Wanting to see and feel everything.

Eric, her first boyfriend, was made into a sort of representation of the person (not necessarily boyfriend/girlfriend) you love. The one you can't help but love despite the hurt, whether it be emotional or physical, they cause you. You become stuck in that idea that you don't want to let them go, they can change, things can turn around for the better.

That is until someone else comes into your life and helps you see that there is so much more to life, and that you are meant for it. Ah Hudson, how I fell for this character. He was the knight in shining armour in Avery's eyes, the answer to her prayers. Again, Hudson later on in the series wasn't liked too much, but let's admit it, in the very beginning we were all loving this guy. I feel like Avery will always have a special place in her heart for him, even though she's moving on in her life with Christian. As the creator, I will always have a great love for Hudson, especially as I reflect back on the first story.

Now I'm not gonna lie, Christian's character was never meant to become a main character. I was just going to create this flat, minor character in the series. I had just finished reading 50 Shades of Grey and thought that putting in a character with the same name would be funny. But ideas just kept on coming to me for him and I just ran with them, thus the creation of Christian Reid. I've always loved the idea of Avery falling for a mature, sophisticated man; in a way the opposite of Hudson. Christian the suit and tie guy, Hudson the casual chef.

Throughout the stories you've all been able to meet Avery's friends whom she's had before, and those she's made during. To drop a few names, she has an incredible friend group, colourful and full of personality; Amelia, the stylist. Gemma, the Vogue employee. Kennedy, the model and faithful friend who would never judge her. Jules, the laid-back and easy to talk to friend. Another character who's become my baby is Blair. What is there to say about him? While writing and creating him, I wanted him to develop the same feelings Christian did for Avery, but never acting on them. A part of me feels bad for not being able to develop his character and backstory more than what is in the story, if you want to know it feel free to ask me, but ultimately I wanted his character to be almost this tragic romanticist. Falling for his best friend's girl, and choosing to leave so he won't have to be near her just in case his feelings were too strong to control.

All in all, I've loved writing this series and I am truly sad to have to say goodbye to it. I've been considering writing a separate piece, a continuation of Avery and Christian's life. But it's up in the air right now and I'm not 100% on it. But I digress, this has been an incredible journey writing and creating something so dear to my heart, and I absolutely could not have done this without the love and support of my readers. You've all been so amazing to me and I appreciate you all so very much! My writing days are absolutely not over, and I hope you have enjoyed what I've released into this crazy world called the Internet :)

Much love,
Cree ♡

p.s there is a small epilogue chapter I will post shortly.