Mirrors

Leonardo DiCaprio. Jann wants me to interview Leonardo DiCaprio for the May issue of the magazine, we're covering his upcoming movie The Great Gatsby. This is huge!

I was beaming. Like, I could not stop smiling since I left the office. When I went to go see Jann to hear what he had to tell me, he praised me for my work on the Billie Joe Armstrong piece. It was one our most successful issues this year, so he decided to reward me and give me this opportunity.

But I needed to tell Jann about London, and I figured it was better to tell him now than wait till the last minute. I recalled our conversation.

"London? Why on earth are you moving there?" He chuckled.

I sat down on the sofa in his office and sighed, knotting my fingers. "Hudson is opening a second restaurant and it's in London, and well, I'm married now and we just think it's time to move into our new home."

"Oh, you have a place out there?" He leaned back into his chair, resting his elbows on the armrests and his hands folded over his stomach.

"Yes, that was his wedding gift to me. I've only been there once, but it's stunning." I looked down, "Look, Jann. I know you've been nothing but amazing to me, giving me these great opportunities here at Rolling Stone, and I will be forever grateful. But I just need to ask, when I move to England, will I still have a future here?"

He looked out the window and was quiet for a moment as he considered my question. He sighed inwardly and cleared his throat, turning back to me. "When do you think you'll be leaving?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "As for a specific date, we're not sure. But we're thinking sometime in May, second week maybe."

He nodded and looked out the window again. "That's soon...Avery, you're a great writer. One of our best young writers to this day. I mean, sales have gone up considerably since the issues you've contributed to. The readers are loving this fresh and upbeat perspective you offer. So I can't let you go. Consider this; I will keep you on despite you moving across the pond, and you can continue writing for us, the only thing is with our big interviews like Billie Joe and Leonardo who come here, you won't be able to do those interviews. You can continue your Top Five, reviews, everything you're good at. You'll just be limited. The choice is yours."

Limited.

I gnawed my lip and thought about it, looking down at my hands. Well, at least I'll still be writing, just hopefully I can get somewhere with National Geographic.

"One question. You said I won't be able to do the Leonardo interview?"

"No, you will, I just meant interviews as big as that. Like, our cover issues. That's what I mean." He quickly replied.

I gave a sigh of relief, "Okay. Then yes, I'll continue writing for Rolling Stone."

He smiled and clapped his hands once, "Perfect. I had hoped that'd be your answer."

I stood up, "Thank you Jann, for understanding."

"Of course."

"One thing, could you just not mention this to anyone? Hudson and I haven't even told our families or friends yet, once we tell them we'll tell everyone else." I bit my lip.

He smiled and nodded, making a lock motion over his mouth. "My lips are sealed."

"Thank you."

I took out my keys and unlocked the door to the loft only to realize the door was already unlocked, I made a face and walked in. The place was quiet and I called for Hudson. There was no answer. I hung up my jacket quickly and dropped my purse on the floor. I called for him again.

A couple steps into the place, I noticed a broken water glass on the floor. That's when I really started to panic. "Hudson!" I called frantically, running into the bedroom. I was startled by him lying on the bed listening to his iPod. I held my chest and gave a sigh of relief.

He pulled out an earphone. "Hey."

"Hey? Hudson, I've been calling for you and you weren't answering. And there's a broken glass in the kitchen. I thought something happened to you." I panted, trying to calm my nerves.

"I'm sorry, I was just listening to music." He spoke monotonously. I watched him and quickly crawled onto the bed with him, "You're home early. Is something wrong?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Jules isn't going to London with us."

I blinked, "What? Why?"

"He just wants to stay here. New York is his home now." He closed his eyes.

I nodded and laid down next to him, wrapping my arm around his waist. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"I don't know. I mean, what kind of friend would I be if I told him no? It's just hard, you know? He's my best friend and I just always thought we'd be together." He covered his face and sighed, "It's just so hard. Everything is changing and I have no control over it. And I'm feeling these emotions that I haven't felt in years and I don't know how to deal with them."

I rested my head on his shoulder and held him tightly, "I know."

He wrapped his arms around me and held me for a long time, not saying a word. I liked this silence, I liked it when he would just hold me and we wouldn't have to say anything. I understood that this was hard for him; Jules was his first real friend.

And well what I assume, since he was a child he probably got everything he wanted, everything went his way, even up until recently. Not having control over things, especially his emotions, must be terrible. And I know that I'm no help.

I only wish that I could take away all the bad feelings and make him happy.

"Avery...with all that we've gone through these past few months...I'm really grateful that you're still here with me. And sometimes I know I can be overwhelming and needy, but that's the way I am. It's always been an insecurity of mine...I hate being alone. I hate it. The physical act of it and the emotional toll it causes. But Avery, I love you so much. I do. I just need you in my life always."

I softly smiled, "I love you too Hudson. That's such a reassuring thing to hear. I'm glad you need me."

He repositioned himself and hovered over me, kissing me softly on the lips. "You wanna get outta here for a bit? We can drive around New York for a while."

I gazed up at him, "On the motorcycle?"

He smiled despite his sadness, "Yeah."

I smiled and sat up, "Yes, I'd love to. Just let me go change." Just as I was about to get up, I froze when I realized his hand was on my stomach. I looked down and then looked at him. He stared at me, "Dress warm. I don't want either of you to get cold." My heart melted, was this him coming around?