The Most Unexpected Faces

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Zander guide Chris away, an arm around his shoulders. I couldn’t help but notice that the red haired boy’s face was stained with tears - something that made me want to run after him and check that he was okay. He'd never been good around people fighting and yelling and it didn't look like Ashley was going to calm down anytime soon, so it was probably a good thing that Zander came when he did. Out of anyone, I was glad that it was Zander that came in, he’s one of the few people I know able to calm Chris down when he gets in a state. As a pair, they really do work well together…

"Seriously, Andy? What did I do?" Ashley growled, gesturing wildly with his hands. "Or am I just not good enough compared to him?" The fire in his eyes was intimidating, I knew he was mad and I hated that it was me who’d caused him to get this way. Focusing on reminding myself that it wasn’t anyone’s fault and was an accident, I set about trying to explain. But every time I tried, he just cut me off or didn’t stop ranting long enough to let me get a word in. After a few minutes, I grew sick of him blaming me for something beyond my control and cut across him.

"Ashley, for fuck sake! Will you let me explain?!" I yelled out, aggravated.

"How are you going to explain, Andy? Explain away your actions with some bullshit lie? Believe it or not, I have eyes and I know what I saw, so don't even pretend it didn't happen". He was clenching and un-clenching his hands, like he was itching to hit something. This made me nervous; I knew Ashley would never hit me, but Ashley in a rage is somewhat... unpredictable. Not to mention the fact he’d hit Chris, but then again, he didn’t really know Chris and hadn’t liked him from the start. He loved me, well, at least, I hoped he still did, because he seemed pretty damn furious with me at the time.

"Ashley, I'm not going to lie or say that it didn't happen, because it did, but you have to let me explain that it wasn't like that, we didn-"

"Just shut up for a second, Andy!" he cut yet again, a little desperation creeping in with the anger now. "You nearly left the band just a week ago, are you going to do the same to me?" he asked, sounding significantly less strong than a minute ago, like he expected me to up and leave him and he knew he was fighting a lost cause.

"What? No, Ashley! It was an accident, a mistake!" I protested, letting the shock that he thought I'd leave the most important person in my life show on my face.

"An accident that it happened or an accident that you got caught? Seriously, you can regret it now all you want, doesn't change the fact it happened. In the moment, you wanted to, and that's enough" he sighed, sounding tired and stressed.

"Not that type of accident, Ash! We didn't mean it to happen!" Apparently, Ashley was taking my use of the word accident to mean that I knew what was happening at the time but now regretted it, rather than not meaning to do it in the first place. I would have spelt it out for him, step by step, had something I heard him mumble not made me feel sick inside and stop my speech in my throat.

"You obviously don't love me if you want to be with someone else, even if it was just for a few minutes..." he whispered, either to himself or me, I wasn't sure.

I involuntarily made a choked sound as he turned around and slumped down on the sofa behind him, looking defeated. In the space of a minute, he’d gone from being a fierce lion to a sad and scared little puppy.

"Ashy..." I dropped to my knees in front of him, gently placing my hands on the sofa on either side of his legs. "Ashy, please, please don't think that!" I placed my hand gently on his jaw and tilted his chin up so he was looking at me rather than his black jean clad thighs. "Ashley, I love you!" I said, letting emotion flood my voice and not even bothering to try and restrain the tears that were building in my eyes.

He let out a small and shaky breath, before reaching his hand up near mine. For a brief second, my hopes grew and I thought he was going to take my hand. Instead though, he just batted it away and rose from the couch in one fluid motion. He strode towards the door of the bus, his pace fast and purposeful, leaving me to scramble up from the floor as quick as I could in an attempt to stop him.

He slowed when he reached the door, just for long enough that he could look back over his shoulder.

"Prove it" he whispered, and with that, he ran out of the bus, leaving the door to swing shut behind him.