My City

Sitting in her car a young girl with long, brown hair simply looked blankly at the road before her. Her dark eyes sat focused on the horizon as the city that had been their playground glittered before her. The space needle was lit up, sitting proudly in the middle of the city as the radio buzzed softly, playing another one of his songs. She felt sick and helpless, feeling like their wasn’t enough air left to breath as his words were still playing over and over in her head.

“Seattle I proposed to Tricia! I’m getting married!”

Her stomach rolled at the joy his voice had held at those eight terrible words. She wanted to cry, but she had already been doing that for three hours and just didn’t have another tear left in her. She rested her arms on the wheel of the car, just looking at the view.

This was where they had spent almost their entire childhood on this hillside. The woods looked so much smaller now, but they had loomed like a jungle when she had been younger. She chuckled, remembering how much they had terrified her before Ben took her hand, promising he’d keep her safe even though she knew he’d been just as scared as she was.

When they were teenagers they would come up here and talk about dates. Ben would ask her how to ask other girls out, and she’d smile and pretend it didn’t kill her to tell him and listen to him gush about everyone that wasn’t her. He always asked why she stayed single, but she never had the guts to tell him. She should have told him how she felt so long ago, confessed her feelings before he ever even met Tricia, but it was too late now.

Soon the man she’d loved for over ten years would be walking down the aisle, promising to spend the rest of his life and love a girl who wasn’t her. She knew she couldn’t blame Tricia or Ben, she had no one to blame but herself and now it was all over. She closed her eyes, leaning back in the seat of the car before she started it.

She wanted to keep being his friend, to keep supporting him, but she couldn’t do it anymore. He had left her broken and destroyed without even knowing it. He had undone her heart stitch by stitch every time he gushed about Tricia. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she grabbed the bottle of whiskey, no longer caring about her sobriety without him. She didn’t even care anymore, all she wanted was Ben and she could never have him.

She downed the rest of it, her hands shaking as she turned off the emergency brake and put the car in reverse. She sped back, looking at the place where they had first met and feeling like a wolf had ripped her heart out as his voice came over the radio, just as perfect as it had always been.

I want to fly
Can you take me far away?
Give me a star to reach for
Tell me what it takes

She closed her eyes, pulling down her mirror to see the photo of them together when they’d gone to California a few months ago for her birthday. She kissed her fingertips before pressing the kiss to Ben’s face, his perfect blue eyes smiling at her.

“I love you Ben.” She whispered. With that she took in a deep breath, looking to the ravine in front of her before she turned her car into drive, hitting the gas.

I'll go so high
My feet won't touch the ground
I stitch my wings
And pull the strings

She wasn’t scared anymore as she closed her eyes, the alcohol rushing through her veins for the first time in months. Her brown eyes slipped open, blurry with tears, knowing that this was what would be best for him. He would never love her back, and he didn’t need his best friend pining over him with everything that was going on. She remembered all the good times they had together, smiling softly.

I bought these dreams
That all fall down

She looked at the ravine in front of her, pressing her lips together. She knew this was selfish, but maybe it would inspire him to write a new song. After all, a famous guy like Macklemore needed all the inspiration he could get. “Ben.” She whispered, looking at the cliff before her. “I’m sorry.”

And then she flew.