My City

The vibrating of his phone pulled Ben from his sleep that night. He groaned, Tricia running her hand over his arm. “Who is it?” She grumbled. “I swear to Christ if it’s Ryan…” He simply sat up, grabbing his phone and squinting at the number. When he saw it was the UW Medical center he quickly answered, wondering who at the hospital would be calling him.

“Hello?” He grumbled, sleep still tangled in his voice.

“Ben Haggerty?” A female voice said simply.

“Yes?”

“There’s been an accident.” He instantly awoke, shooting up in his bed.

“Who is it? What happened?” He asked, running a hand through his short hair. His heart was racing, terrified he’d hear something about his brother, or his mom or dad, but the answer wasn’t what he was bracing for, it was worse.

“Seattle Mason was in a car accident. She’s in critical condition in the ICU right now.”

“Have you called her parents?”

“That’s just it.” The woman said somberly. “She’s asking for you specifically.” Ben felt like a knife had forced itself into his chest as he fought back vomit.

“What happened?” He asked quietly. The woman was silent for a long time, obviously trying to think of how to break this to him.

“They think she drove her car off a cliff into a ravine. She has massive internal bleeding and they don’t think she’ll make it through the night. I’m sorry.” He heard her words, but somehow they didn’t make sense as he just sat there. His phone slipped from his hand as he just looked into space. This wasn’t real, he was going to wake up any second now, right? He had to.

He finally forced himself out of bed, ignoring Tricia’s questions as he started to get dressed. This had to be a dream, so he had to just go along with it. He had to stay numb or he was going to crumble. He turned to Tricia, grabbing his phone as he tried to keep it together.

“Seattle was in an accident, they don’t think she’s going to make it.” He said hollowly. “Apparently she’s asking for me.” Tricia’s eyes flew open as she shot up, using a sheet to cover her nudity as she walked over to her fiancée.

“Do you want me to go with you?” She asked, running her hands over his arms. He looked into her soft grey eyes, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

She drove her car off a ravine

He started shaking, feeling a wave of nausea in his stomach as he shook his head. “I’ll just go babe, go back to sleep.” He gave her a small kiss before grabbing his phone and stuffing it into his pocket.

He called Seattle’s parents on the way to the hospital, they said they were already there, but Seattle didn’t want to see them. He pressed his lips together feeling the nausea fighting back to his throat. He didn’t admit to himself that he was scared, worried that he would show up to late as he hit the gas, speeding towards the hospital in the dark Seattle night.

He ran up to the front desk, asking where the ICU was. The second the directions left the receptionist’s lips he was running towards the elevator. He covered his mouth as the numbers crawled up too slowly, those seven words playing over and over in his head.

She drove her car off a ravine

The last time he’d spoken to Seattle had been three days ago, telling her about the engagement. He’d tried calling her several times after that, and when she’d missed their weekly coffee he should have known something was wrong. He couldn’t stop shaking as the elevator finally opened and he walked out, stumbling like some sort of a ghost.

His face was white, his palms sweating as he made his way down that sickly white hallway, nurses walking back and forth and a doctor yelling “clear” a few rooms behind him. He looked from name to name until he saw it.



He bit his lower lip harshly, his hands trembling as he heard Mrs. Mason’s voice.

“Ben.” She whispered. He turned to see the woman who was like a second mother to him as she looked at him, her eyes red and swollen from crying. Before he knew what was happening she wrapped her small, frail arms around him, sobbing into his chest. She fit in his arms the same was Seattle did and was the spitting image of her daughter, down to the loose brown curls and wide, chocolate eyes. “Ben, why would she do this? She won’t even see us!”

The nausea hit again and he had to pull away, stumbling into the closest bathroom before he lost it, vomiting into the toilet as it finally hit him. Seattle, happy, carefree Seattle, the girl he’d known since he was five years old, had tried to kill herself. Another wave his as he emptied his stomach into the white bowl. His whole body was trembling as he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Mr. Mason kneeling beside him.

“It’s not your fault Ben.” He promised. “Come on.” He stood, extending his hand to the younger man. Ben shakily stood, Mr. Mason putting an arm on his shoulder as he led him out of the bathroom, quickly flushing the toilet. As Ben made his way out into the hall he saw a doctor coming out of Seattle’s room, his expression grim. He approached the three of them, sighing.

“Is one of you Ben?” He asked.

“I am.” Ben said, stepping forward and looking at him. The doctor nodded.

“She’s asking for you.” He said. “And with the way things are going right now, I’d suggest seeing her now as opposed to later.” Ben nodded, looking back up at him.

“How long… how long does she have?” The doctor sighed, running a hand through his salt and pepper hair.

“I would suggest making peace with her in the next few hours.” He said simply. Mrs. Mason let out a long wail, collapsing to the floor as tears rolled down her face. Ben felt sick again as tears stung his own blue eyes.

“Can’t you do something?” He pleaded. “Anything?” The doctor shook his head.

“When the car hit the bottom of the ravine the steering wheel broke six of her ribs and the shards punctured her lungs and parts of her heart. Her intestines were practically crushed from the impact as well. There’s nothing we can do but make her comfortable.”

“MY BABY!” Mrs. Mason screamed, unable to stand as she wept by Ben’s feet. Mr. Mason was right by her side, holding his wife as she cried. Ben looked back to them, remembering when Seattle had first introduced him to her parents and how many nights he’d spent camped out on their couch.

He turned to the door, his feet feeling like lead as he approached the simply wooden barrier. He swallowed nervously, his hands shaking violently as he pushed it open and stepped inside.

There were tubes sticking out of her arms, and her face was ghostly and pale. He felt sick as she moaned in agony, the dark scarlet under her bandages making her seem even paler as she nearly blended into the white linen. He took a step closer, taking in the girl he had known for his whole life.

Her hair was spread out like branches against the pillows, her eyes nearly swollen shut. Here were cuts and bruises all over her face and one of her perfectly plump lips was split open. Most of her body was hidden by her blankets as the heart monitor beeped by her side, showing her weak heart rate. Her breathing was shallow and her normally bright smile was nowhere to be seen. Her eyes slipped open and as the now dull brown met the grey blue, she teared up.

“Ben.” She whispered. “Ben I’m so sorry.” He couldn’t fight it anymore as tears slipped down his face.

“Sea, why?” He choked out, unable to restrain the question. “Why would you do this?” He reached out, taking one of her frail hands in his, trying to ignore how cold it was. She looked at him, pressing her lips together.

“Because you love Tricia.” She whispered.

“What?”

“Ben.” She whispered. “I love you. I always have.” He couldn’t breathe as he looked at her. There was no more oxygen as she just looked at him, tears rolling down her sunken cheeks. “But this isn’t your fault, it’s mine.” He could see how much it hurt for her to talk and gently squeezed her hand.

“Sea, stop talking-”

“Shut up Ben.” She snapped, a small trickle of blood falling from her pale lips. He pressed his lips together, reaching out and wiped it away, looking at her as she started coughing. “I need you to do something for me.” She whispered once her fit had ended.

“Anything Sea.” He murmured. She looked back at him, her eyes sad.

“Tell me our story.” He furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion and she simply smiled softly. “Tell me the story of our friendship.” She whispered. “Don’t leave anything out.”

“Why?” He asked, looking into her eyes.

“Because, I want us to be the last thing that goes through my mind before the end.” He pressed his lips together, running his thumb over her broken knuckles.

“I don’t know if I can remember everything.” He admitted. “And your parents want to see you.” Her eyes became glassy again as she turned away.

“I can’t face them Ben.” She whimpered. “I let them down.”

“Seattle, they love you. Please, let them at least say goodbye to their only kid.” She looked back at him, her eyes watering.

“Ben, take care of them for me.” She whispered. “You know my mom’s going to be a wreck for months.” He nodded as she looked at him. “Tell me about us first, then I’ll say my goodbyes.”

He sighed, running his free hand through his hair as he looked at her. “Well, how about I just tell the good parts?” He said. “I don’t want to remember our fights or…” He blushed as he looked at her. “Did you love me the summer before junior year?” She nodded and he looked at her, feeling the nausea again. “And Ryan’s Christmas party in 2006?” She simply nodded again, but she weakly squeezed his hand and drew him back.

“How about you tell a time you liked, and I’ll tell one I liked?” She offered. He nodded. She smiled weakly, a ghost of her normally beaming grin. “I’ll go first.” She whispered. “I liked the day we first met.” His lower lip started shaking as she smiled, turning to the ceiling and smiling at the memory. “God I thought you were so weird.” He chuckled, despite everything as she turned back to him. “It was the fall of 1989, our first day of kindergarten. You were wearing a little blue rain jacket and matching boots and had that nasty ass bowl cut.” He simply shook his head.

“You remember what I was wearing twenty-four years ago?” She nodded. “How?” She pressed her lips together, weakly pushing her fingers so they slipped between his.

“Because that was the day I fell in love with you Benjamin Haggerty.”