Pretty Girl

The next morning I was greeted by my doctor, Doctor Green, a tall, cleanly shaved, black man with a kind smile. "Claire, you gave your mom quite the scare."

"I gave everyone quite the scare," I say back to him.

"Teddy can you give Claire and I a chance to talk for a moment?" he asked to Teddy that had only just woken up from the chair beside the bed.

I didn't want him to go, I was greedy. I needed every moment with him. "He can stay. I want him to stay," I say before Teddy has the chance to get up.

"That's fine. I wanted to talk about your charts and how we can battle this together."

"The nurse told me that I had to gain weight before leaving, but once I left I had to go to a treatment center."

"That is correct. Your mother and I feel like that would be best because you have a history of eating disorders and this would only be to your benefit."

"I can get better here, I will get better. Don't send me away."

"I believe that you can get better her but it's not just about getting better. It's about staying better. It's about finding the true cause of why you put yourself through this."

"I know," I say softly.

"I've started you on an IV to get the proper nutrition then we'll work our way up to six small meals a day that equals up to two thousand calories until you at our goal weight for you to be transferred."

"That's a lot."

"It may seem like it now, but it is necessary for you to become healthy again. Once you are at the weight you are supposed to be, your calories will be reduced so you can maintain the weight. Do you have any questions?"

I thought for a moment. I had one, that one question that sat at the bottom of my purse but I was too afraid to answer by myself. Teddy was here now, and the doctor would know if I was pregnant or not.

"Am I pregnant? I haven't had a period in like two months," I ask quietly.

"No, you're not. You weren't getting enough fat in your diet to ovulate properly, causing a lack of a menstrual cycle."

"Oh, okay," I say relieved. I take a quick look at Teddy, our eyes meet each other and I know that he is putting two and two together.

Doctor Green left and Teddy began to speak. "What happened that night Sam was checked in here?"

"Nothing."

"Who did you sleep with? Who did you think got you pregnant?"

"I don't know," I vaguely remember the name of the man who brought me to the run down house, but if I was pregnant I wouldn't have any idea who the father actually was.

"How do you not know?"

"I was given something."

"Did a guy rape you?"

I look down; I didn't want to see the disappointed look plastered on Teddy's face. "No."

"No, a guy didn't rape you? So after he gave you whatever, you willingly had sex with the mystery man?"

"No," I say again.

"What do you mean no?"

"I didn't willingly have sex with him after some of him and his friends injected heroin into my veins. No it wasn't just him."

"Claire, why didn't you tell me?" Teddy asked when he heard me stifle my tears.

"It's embarrassing."

"You need to tell your mom, you need tell the police."

"No, please no," I plead. "I just want to forget. I'm not pregnant, everything is okay."

Teddy left his chair and got onto the small bed beside me, scooting me into him so we shared the same space. I knew that he wouldn't tell anyone, that eventually I would be able to forget that stupid, mistake of a night. Nothing linked me to that night; it was time to move on.