Dreaming Dead
Chapter one
~Chapter one~
**Ricky's POV**
"Don't you dare breathe a word of this to anyone. You got that?" His deep voice growled into my ear as he held onto my wrists.
My heart was pounding heavily against my chest, threatening to burst out, tearing flesh and bone. My entire body trembled with fear and discomfort as his bigger
form on top of me held me in my place. I bit my lip to keep from crying out when I felt him move inside me. I tried so hard to go to my happy place,
but said happy place was so far away at this moment.
After he was done, he left my bedroom and locked the door behind him, leaving me shaking and naked and pathetic. Sobs racked through me as hot tears made
a mess of my face, streaming every which way with no end. I hugged my knees to my chest as I stared at the door. He had just left, like nothing had happened.
Like he hadn't just stolen the last shred of innocence I tried so desperately to keep secure within me. The world seemed empty and dark. Hopeless and unforgiving.
No one would ever want me now. I'm filthy and used like an old teddy bear that's endured decades of abuse.
And my Mom only proved my point more. She refused to believe me. She said I was just a liar. That I just wanted attention. No amount of tears could change
her opinion.
"You're trying to tear this family apart, Ricky." She spat through a growling voice trembling with rage and disgust. "And I'm done with it. Done with your lies and your
constant need for attention. You're Sixteen years old, you don't need me anymore."
...And the next thing I knew, I was standing outside in the cool night air. My heart ached a pain I couldn't possibly describe in words as I was forced to say
goodbye to the house that stood in front of me. The house I had grown up in and called my home for as long as I could remember. Cast out of my family
for God knows how long, possibly forever. I turned and walked away, sobbing quietly as I stared at the cold wet pavement beneath me.
This was it. My life with my mother was officially over. She would never welcome me back into her life. Anger burned deep inside me. Anger towards my Step-Dad.
This was wrong. He was the one who had been physically and verbally abusing me ever since he had been let into our house. He was the one who raped me.
HE was the one who was supposed to be the one sent away forever. Not me.
And then another emotion grabbed hold of me. Worry. Where the hell was I supposed to go now? I wasn't the most popular kid in school. I didn't have any friends
outside of school. No other family members to contact. I was literally all alone now. How was I going to survive with no home, no food, no way of getting to
school. I knew deep down that now I would most likely die. Whither away like a forgotten flower. Stomped on by society and left to rot away until eventually
nothing remained of me.
And it was then that I realized that I wanted to die.
**Ricky's POV**
"Don't you dare breathe a word of this to anyone. You got that?" His deep voice growled into my ear as he held onto my wrists.
My heart was pounding heavily against my chest, threatening to burst out, tearing flesh and bone. My entire body trembled with fear and discomfort as his bigger
form on top of me held me in my place. I bit my lip to keep from crying out when I felt him move inside me. I tried so hard to go to my happy place,
but said happy place was so far away at this moment.
After he was done, he left my bedroom and locked the door behind him, leaving me shaking and naked and pathetic. Sobs racked through me as hot tears made
a mess of my face, streaming every which way with no end. I hugged my knees to my chest as I stared at the door. He had just left, like nothing had happened.
Like he hadn't just stolen the last shred of innocence I tried so desperately to keep secure within me. The world seemed empty and dark. Hopeless and unforgiving.
No one would ever want me now. I'm filthy and used like an old teddy bear that's endured decades of abuse.
And my Mom only proved my point more. She refused to believe me. She said I was just a liar. That I just wanted attention. No amount of tears could change
her opinion.
"You're trying to tear this family apart, Ricky." She spat through a growling voice trembling with rage and disgust. "And I'm done with it. Done with your lies and your
constant need for attention. You're Sixteen years old, you don't need me anymore."
...And the next thing I knew, I was standing outside in the cool night air. My heart ached a pain I couldn't possibly describe in words as I was forced to say
goodbye to the house that stood in front of me. The house I had grown up in and called my home for as long as I could remember. Cast out of my family
for God knows how long, possibly forever. I turned and walked away, sobbing quietly as I stared at the cold wet pavement beneath me.
This was it. My life with my mother was officially over. She would never welcome me back into her life. Anger burned deep inside me. Anger towards my Step-Dad.
This was wrong. He was the one who had been physically and verbally abusing me ever since he had been let into our house. He was the one who raped me.
HE was the one who was supposed to be the one sent away forever. Not me.
And then another emotion grabbed hold of me. Worry. Where the hell was I supposed to go now? I wasn't the most popular kid in school. I didn't have any friends
outside of school. No other family members to contact. I was literally all alone now. How was I going to survive with no home, no food, no way of getting to
school. I knew deep down that now I would most likely die. Whither away like a forgotten flower. Stomped on by society and left to rot away until eventually
nothing remained of me.
And it was then that I realized that I wanted to die.