Hold Onto You

She could hear it vibrating. It was late, almost three in the morning, and her phone was vibrating. Indigo cracked an eye open, glancing at the clock. 3:08. She reached over blindly for her phone, her fingers hitting the wood of her night stand, finally managing to grab her cell. She bit back a yawn, pressing the key to receive the call. Her voice was groggy, thick with sleep as she spoke.

“Hello?”

“I’m sorry. All I want to do is hold on to you.”

Indigo sat up. She ran a hand through her hair, her pulse immediately racing as soon as she heard his voice. Her teeth caught her bottom lip, and she began to nibble on it nervously. She couldn’t help but let her mind wander when she heard him.

Two years, eleven months, and seventeen days. That’s how long their relationship had lasted. They’d been the idealistic couple, always in love, always happy with one another. But for the last two or three months, something had changed. Ok had started to snap at her. He wasn’t calling her as often. He was distant, and it had started to get to her. But of course, she’d managed to put it together when she walked into their apartment and found him with another girl.

“Are you drunk?” His voice sounded a bit slurred, and he was quoting a song of his to her. It was how he always was when he was drunk.

“No,” he snapped indignantly. He paused for a moment. “Well, maybe a little,” he sighed softly, the noise barely coming through on the other end of the call. “But I miss you. Is that so bad?”

“It’s been a month, Ok. What do you expect me to do? Take you back? Is that what you want? You want me to take you back after what you pulled?” She wasn’t blind. She’d seen the magazine articles, the little bits online of him with other women. The headlines had been screaming about him getting drunk, him partying with other women; in all honesty, she’d been expecting a phone call like this ever since they’d broken up.

“We were together two years. You’re willing to just ignore that because of a mistake that I made?”

Indigo couldn’t help but scoff at his words. A mistake? Is that what he thought it was? It had torn her world apart. It had ripped her to shreds. After she’d found them, she’d spent the next two days curled up on a friend’s couch, alternating between sleeping and crying quietly.

“Yeah, I am,” she murmured. She could feel the familiar sting of tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. “I can’t ignore what you did. You hurt me. How am I supposed to ignore that?”

“I’m not asking you to ignore what I did, or even to forgive me! I just want to see you, okay?” His voice cracked as he spoke, his hurt evident in his voice.

“I just – I can’t. I can’t do this,” she said, her voice making it obvious that she was about to cry. Before the tears began to run, she hung up the phone, shoving it onto the night stand before she buried her head into her pillow, and cried quietly.

---

Indigo shoved a hand over her eyes, frowning at the sudden light that was shining in front of her closed eyes. She laid there for a moment, just trying to relax. She slowly sat up, cringing at the small headache that was bothering her. She opened her eyes, blinking a couple of times. They felt raw. The memories from the night before flooded her memory. The call, the crying afterwards. She shook her head, pushing those thoughts away from her.

Her gaze drifted over to her phone, where it had lit up with a recent text message. She picked it up, unlocking it quickly. She clicked over to her messages, seeing that she’d missed at least four.

I’m sorry.

I made a mistake. I’m begging you.

I shouldn’t have called, okay?

Forgive me.

She went to delete them when a new text arrived. Her finger paused over the button, debating on whether she should read it. She could remember all the fun that they used to have. They’d been together for over two years. Was she really willing to give all of that up? She clicked the button, her eyes flicking over the words quickly.

I made a mistake. I wish I could make everything better, but I just can’t. I was focusing too much on my work, and everything else. I wasn’t fair to you. I’d gotten drunk, and I made a mistake. But I swear, I just need to talk to you. Face to face. Please. Just grant me that. If not, then I won’t bother you again. Alright?

She thought for a moment, typing back a quick reply.

Want to grab lunch today?