Don't Wave No Goodbye

Darcy had gone looking around for Nick once she realised he’d disappeared from where he’d been making a spectacle of himself on the dance floor when she finds both he and Louis wrapped up in each other, sharing a secret moment, and she closes the door behind her quietly with a smile, grateful that it worked out for them.

She finds her way back to the bar, figuring she can have one more drink and silently toast to Louis and Nick getting their shit together before calling it quits and heading home. The night had been going better than she thought it would and Nick had been right, Harry hadn’t shown, but she stills feel miserable and not at all in the party mood.

Darcy’s nursing her last rum and coke for the night when Fiona falls into a seat beside her, a knowing look written all over her face. “What’s with that frown, missy?” she asks, gesturing for the bartender to fill up her drink.

“Nothing, nothing. Just thinking about calling it a night,” Darcy answers, smiling at her friend and hoping she doesn’t see through it. She does.

“It’s not even ten o’clock yet, that’s weak,” Fiona teases before a more sombre look comes across her face. “Look, I know there’s a lot going on between you and a certain popstar, and don’t tell me you’re fine with it because you look completely wretched but look! It’s Christmas and you’re here with all your friends. You’re here, he’s not, and isn’t that every reason to just come and dance with me, and let yourself have a great time?”

Before Darcy can even register it, she’s smiling, the first proper smile in days. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m with the people I love most and I should really appreciate that.”

“Too right! So finish your drink and let’s go get down with our bad selves!” Fiona cheers, laughing at herself and clinking her glass against Darcy’s happily.

“Amen to that!” Darcy replies, finishing the last of her drink before getting to her feet. “Shall we, lovely Fi?”

“We shall!” Fiona answers quickly, linking her arm through Darcy’s as the two make their way out to the dance floor just as a Justin Bieber track begins to play and the two of them start to dance together, laughing at how silly they must look but not caring. It’s not long before they’re joined by Greg, LMC, Finchy and his girl, Nate, Pixie, and Henry, all of them crowding together, laughing and singing and dancing like the drunk, mad people they were.

Darcy lets the night pass her by, adopting Greg as her dancing partner for the rest of the night as the two of them make fools of themselves for everyone else’s amusement, and she drinks some more and takes silly photos that she knows will be plastered all over facebook and twitter, and just generally enjoys herself.

Even when Niall asks if she’d like to dance, she accepts with a smile and giggles as he dances her about to Ke$ha. She expected him to be angry at her, to ignore her or even glare at her from across the way but instead he chats away normally, talking about the party and the alcohol and the music, and she appreciates this. When the music slows down, Niall takes one her hand in his and places the other on her waist as he moves them both in time to the song, and when she looks up at him, she catches him staring at her intently.

“I’m not angry at you, you know,” he tells her quietly. “I figured you thought I must’ve been when I asked you to dance.”

Darcy ducks her gaze at this. “I just thought… Well, I wouldn’t blame you if you were. You’re one of Harry’s best friends; it’s only natural to want to defend him or side with him.”

Niall shrugs easily. “Nothing to defend. You two knew what you were doing and you’re both equally to blame, not to blame, for whatever happened. It’s cool, it’s not my business, and I like you enough to want to dance with you anyway.”

“You’re so easy going about everything, I like that about you,” Darcy says, laughing when Niall makes a silly face at this.

“Yeah, I just can’t be bothered getting upset over things, not my style,” Niall explains, “But I can see that you want to know so I’ll tell you, he’s still pretty cut up about it all. He’s at home with Liam right now because he didn’t think he could see you tonight. I’m not telling you that to make you feel bad or anything, just being honest.”

“Thanks Niall,” Darcy responds but she can’t hide the guilt in her eyes. “It wasn’t… it was never supposed to happen this way and I feel like the worst person in the world right now.”

“Don’t be, really. You can’t help that you didn’t fall for him the way he fell for you. Even he gets that and he’s not blaming you for it. But the dude’s gotta take some time to get over it and all, ya know?”

“Niall…” Darcy starts, wondering if this is even the right thing to say at all. “At the time I thought I didn’t feel the same way for him but now I realise that I might have been wrong on that front.”

Niall’s eyes widen. “Wait, you mean… you’ve got feelings for him too?”

Darcy looks absolutely miserable and lost. “I don’t – maybe? Yes, I mean, I just… Yeah.”

“Shit,” Niall breathes, looking slightly stunned by this information. “Well, I think, and this is just my opinion, but I think you’ve got to tell him. He deserves to know, right? Even if it doesn’t end with you two being together.”

“I don’t know if that’s for the best,” Darcy whispers, “I mean, even if I do feel the same way, that doesn’t mean I’ll suddenly be able to commit myself to a relationship with him. I can’t give him that false hope.”

“The fact that you’re even considering all of this tells me that you care enough about him not to hurt him, which I’m grateful for. I can’t tell you what to do but if I was in your position, I would honestly think about this long and hard because you’ve got to decide whether he’s worth the risk or not. If you know that there’s no way you can maintain a relationship with him, you’ve got to let him move on from this to keep both of you from hurting. But if there’s a part of you that thinks maybe you can do this, then maybe things aren’t all doom and gloom, right? You just gotta know what you’re going to do and consider Harry in everything because although he has a right to know, he has a right to keep from being hurt too.”

Darcy nods slowly before a slight smile comes across her face. “You’re rather knowledgeable and wise, did you know that, Mr. Horan?”

Niall throws back his head in laughter. “Yeah, I’ve been known to have the odd bout of brilliance here and there. Don’t tell anyone though; I like the element of surprise.”

“Your secret’s safe.” Darcy smiles, feeling a weight lift from her shoulders that she hadn’t realised was there. “I think I’ve got a lot to go home and think about. It’s strange how I felt like I couldn’t tell this to any of my close friends and yet it all came out with you.”

Niall shrugs slightly. “Hey, sometimes all you need is an outside perspective. Your secret’s safe with me as well, with whatever you decide to do. Not my place to say and all that. But just… think about it properly, yeah? From every angle because I love Harry and I want him happy and something tells me he could be that with you.”

Darcy blinks at this, Niall’s words causing a warmth to spread in her chest. Niall grins at her reaction, a knowing smile that leaves her guessing when he leans in and kisses her cheek in a friendly gesture.

“Thanks for the dance, Darce. I hope to see you soon,” he tells her before being called over by Zayn and Perrie for a round of shots.

Annie Mac and Ian rope Darcy in for one last dance of the night before Darcy decides it’s time to leave, kissing everyone on the cheek goodbye and fighting her way outside to get to a cab to take her home. Once she’s in the warmth of the cab, she grabs out her phone to flick Nick a text telling him she’d left and congratulations on getting his boy. For a brief moment, she wants to text Harry too, purely out of habit because she’d grown very accustom to texting Harry whenever good or interesting things happen to her or those around her.

Instead, she shoves her phone deep into her bag and forgets that urge because she knows that now she’s got a lot to think about. Both Niall’s words and her own weighed heavily on her mind and she knows that for once in her life, she needs to be an adult about all this and consider someone else’s feelings alongside her own. She couldn’t just rush into a relationship with Harry because she misses him and wants him back in her life, if she knows that a week later she’ll be begging to get out of it. This is about Harry and whether or not she has it in her to keep him safe from herself and her unreliable ways.

Darcy falls into an uneasy sleep that night and when morning comes, nothing looks much clearer.