A Fading Memory

The darkness of the cave was overwhelming, an endless pit of pitch blackness. All I could do was keep moving, hoping there would be some light at the end of the tunnel. There were voices all around me, Jay, Aled, Stella, a man I didn't know. They echoed off the walls of the cave and followed me everywhere. The pain was awful, my head throbbed and my hips burned with every step I made. The unknown man said I was going to die. He said I wouldn't see my 16th birthday.

All I could do was keep moving, keep travelling through the darkness until I found the light at the end of the tunnel. There's always a light at the end? Or I might hit the cave wall. Maybe one of the voices that were stalking me would creep up on me and kill me? That was even more likely. But I was surprised I hadn't hit any walls.

The pain was excruciating, my whole body was burning with every breath. I couldn't go on for much longer. I just felt so weak and drained. The voices around me, voices I didn't know, getting louder with panic. Trying to keep me alive. I don't want to stay alive! The sounds became hazy, like they were coming from a distance. The ground began to shake, or was that just my legs? I couldn't tell the difference between the sound of my heart beating or the beeping filling my ears. The blackness became blacker and suddenly I was choking. It was alright though, because I felt like I was dying.

"No, Sean!" His voice was as clear as day, right in my ear in the blackness. With effort, I opened my eyes. He was standing right above me, glowing in a halo of light. For a second, I believed he was an angel. He shook my body violently, slapping me once to wake me up. I could still feel my will to live slipping. The pain was too much, I couldn't carry on in the darkness and the agony. "Sean! You've got to stay awake!" He pleaded desperately.

I collapsed onto his body, my head pounding. The strange light he seemed to give off was burning my skin and my eyes. I gasped for air, clawing at his t-shirt desperately. All the while I couldn't help but feel he was my will to live in the flesh, he was only trying to keep my alive because he could. "Come on, Sean, just keep your eyes open and it'll pass in a second." He reassured. His soft English accent was filled with desperation and panic as he pleaded for my survival.

But seconds became minutes and the darkness grew around me. Chris’ soothing voice surrounded me as the strangers tried their hardest to stabilize me. I could feel his hands stroking my pained back, whispering comforting words of support while I squirmed and wriggled in pain. My lungs were burning as I choked and spluttered, trying my hardest to find some oxygen.

Slowly, the pain numbed slightly and air filled my lungs again. He placed soft kisses to my temple, rubbing the sore spot on my back gently. I relaxed into his arms, letting him hold me. "Am I dead, Christian?" I asked quietly.

"Not yet. But if you die, we could be together." He replied. I shuddered at the thought of death. "You'll be away from pain and darkness and you'll be with me for eternity."

"But if you didn't make me do this, I wouldn't be in this pain." I mumbled weakly, staring up at him. All his imperfections were clear in his face, a reminder to the fact he was only human.

"I made you do this?!" He laughed.

"Yeah, you had control over me. It was like you possessed me. You made me think of all the bad shit in my life and bang, here I am." Anger started to rise in my stomach. "You selfish little git! You wanted me all for yourself so you try and kill me?! What the Hell is wrong with you, asshole?" I screamed, tears burning my eyes. Chris looked away, his face turning deep crimson.

"I won't say this again, Seanie." He warned silently. "But you made me up to hurt yourself."

"And what exactly does that mean?!" I retaliated. I was so sick of his way with words, the way they just dripped from his tongue and sounded like caramel to my ears. He looked down at me, his doll face pale again, emotionless, like death should look like. Perfection in beauty – but terrifying.

"If you stay alive, you'll find out." He replied, before standing. My body hit the ground as I rolled from his lap, watching him leave. The light travelled with him, and I was again alone in darkness.

"Sean? It's Stella. I need you to wake up for me, right now, please... please come back! The sounds of her sobs filled the cave and guilt washed over me. It wasn't fair that she should suffer for Christian’s selfishness. It wasn't fair on anyone.

"I hope he's looking after you. I think he said he would. But then, the message he sent me disappeared this morning. I don't know whether it was real in the first place. I hope he's with you, I hope he protects you. But really, I want you to come back, please... just come back Seanie!"