A Fading Memory

"Do you think I'm crazy?" I asked Josh innocently on early Sunday morning. Lying naked in his arms after a night of naughtiness was possibly the greatest thing ever. I loved being with him. Just having him around was enough to make me smile. "I mean, I see dead people and I hear voices all the time." I explained.

"Of course you're crazy!" he laughed heartily, running a bed-warm hand down my back to grab my arse. "But if you weren't crazy, you'd be boring."

"But it's no good, is it? I can't spend my life being haunted by someone who died over a decade ago." I sighed in annoyance. I shifted slightly so I could slide my legs between Josh's own.

"No, you should tell someone." He said before silence filled the room.

My mind began to wonder like a lost puppy. I found myself imaging a dark house that creaked. At the top of the stairs Christian stood waiting, slightly less blood soaked though as neglected as ever. His greasy hair stood on all ends and his frame was so skinny he couldn't hold himself upright. He coaxed my wondering puppy-like mind up the stairs to him, where he crouched on all fours and ran a bony hand along smooth fur. He smiled and chuckled as the dog rubbed its back against his hand. It felt so real, so vivid, I could almost feel his hands brushing through my hair. The puppy rolled onto its back, legs in the air, tail wagging. Chris smiled and tickled its belly, laughing as it wiggled in appreciation. Chris looked down and sighed. "They'd never let me keep you." his soft voice was melancholic and lost. "But then again, you probably don't want to come and play, do you, Sean?" His eyes filled with mischievous tint and the puppy had gone. Instead, I lay where the puppy had been, Chris’ hands on my stomach. Sudden desperations burst inside my stomach. I wanted to be away from him in fear of my life, but I wanted him to touch me some more. ”Maybe we should play a little game sometime. Just you and me." His voice was too sexy to be real. His hands began to make spider like motions up my chest to my throat. Suddenly he grabbed me and his gorgeous face became a blur. "A little game that only one can win."

"Sean?!? Sean! Snap out of it buddy!" Josh's tender voice filled my ears. What was that? A vision? Had I drifted off to sleep and had a nightmare? I sat up quickly and rubbed my eyes. My heart was drumming in my chest and I felt like a nuclear bomb was about to blow in my stomach. "You sort of zoned out then started spasming." He says slowly.

Josh sat up behind me and looped two arms around my waist. His plush lips nipped at the nape of my neck gently. His naked chest touched my back and bought all sense back to me. I took a deep breath and turned to face him.

Our lips met in a sudden, sloppy kiss. Our tongues tangled and wrestled in heated passion, my hands pinning him to his pillow. I did my best to push Chris’ smirking face to the back of mind and concentrate on Josh. I wanted Josh, not Chris. Though the more I said it, the less sense it made. I fantasised about Chris, not Josh. It was wrong in so many fucked up ways.

I lost balance in my arms and my weight came crashing down on him, our entire bodies touching. We gasped at the strange contact, a little pleasure coursing through our spines. Hips ground together and hands roamed freely like there was a whole new territory to explore. I reached blindly across to search for the lube stolen from Josh's brother. His hands prod my opening, slipping two fingers swiftly into my hole. I hissed at the intrusion though let him carry on. Every so often he'd graze my spot with his fingertips, causing me to buck up in needy pleasure.

He tackled me over onto my back and nudged my legs open with his knees. He slicked himself up with the lube, taking extra long to tease me. I groaned in annoyance, desperate for him. I hated the way he teased me. It made me feel so frustrated and pissed off. The more he teased, the more his face seemed to merge with the flawless features of Chris and his sharp fucking cheekbones. "Ready?" he breathed, pushing lube soaked fingers inside me for extra prep. I nodded, unable to form words. Chris had spoken to me, not him.

He sunk inside me slowly, my muscles tearing and stretching around him. I hissed at the pain, my back arching as I gripped the bed sheets. The pain was always unbearable, unforgiving and merciless. It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced before. A cross between a burning and a tearing sensation. He stilled for a moment, allowing me to adjust to the sudden stretch. I nodded again: permission for him to continue.

Josh leant down and kissed my lips softly, before starting up his movements. He started slowly, holding my hand to help me with the pain. I knew it would hurt for the first few thrusts but after that it was unimaginable. I whimpered as his head just touched my weak spot. He smirked and began to pound my already torn muscles with ruthless power. I gasped and moaned in pleasure as he hit me in all the right places. I grabbed his hips and rock myself back and forth against him. We moaned together, hands searching desperately for something to cling on to. His movements became a blur as he pounded harder and faster into me. I tried my hardest to keep my eyes open, but I realised pretty quickly I shouldn't. Josh wasn't fucking the brains out of me. Chris was. I felt sick and confused. Why?!? I didn't want him to, I wanted Josh to. He smiled down at me, soft hands moving from my tubby hips to my tubby face. His body was slick with sweat and his face was contorted in pleasure. I moaned louder, Chris’ fucking was a lot more vicious than Josh's. His hips were sharper, scraping against mine as he rocked back and forth.

The pleasure grew in my stomach like a boiling cauldron. Chris and Josh became one blur that I couldn't recognise. I could hear both of their moans in two different accents. I wasn't sure who had me. Well of course Josh did, but Chris was who I could see. Or who I wanted to see. I bucked my hips up and gasped as I neared climax. My head started spinning and the blur turned to a fuzzy haze of sweat and pleasure. Ian leant down so he could nip at my ear. "Try sleeping with a stranger in your room.”

At that I let go and spurted all over our chests. Ecstasy rippled through my body, overwhelming my mind and my muscles. It was like heaven, the feeling of Josh's salty liquid filling me up. I lost control over my mouth. Incoherent words and curses tumbled from my lips, as well as a name. Though judging by the look on Josh's face, I may have accidentally moaned the wrong name.