We All Roll Along

My heartbeat expressed my anxiety through swift thuds against my chest, causing me to inhale more oxygen than I normally needed. My mind subconsciously displayed different scenarios of ways in which John would show up on my door, the clothes he’d be wearing, how his touch would make me linger him more than ever before, and the intensity of his laser green eyes minutes before his lips met mine.

“You OK, princess?” my dad spoke with a hidden tone of worry. “Not used to the weather yet?”

His distant voice brought me back to reality, as I blinked my daydream away, and tried to recompose my thoughts before it got any sensual. I felt the heat travel through my cheeks as it turned crimson. “Yeah, kind of. It’s not as bad as I imagined it to be though. So, any plans for today besides business?”

With a soft, tender smile placed on his lips, my dad stretched his arm until his hand found mine. “It is fall, so windy temperatures and a lot of rain is normal. I’m so glad you’re back.” He then collected more biscuits on his plate to go along with his coffee, “I was thinking that we could go to this new boutique downtown and get you some new clothes!”

My smile was filled with the love I possessed for this man. I took a sip of my orange juice, clearing my taste buds from the sweetness of the freshly baked chocolate cake. “It’s really okay, dad. I have plenty of clothes that I haven’t worn in months. Besides, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“Sure, princess. What is it?” His bright eyes glanced up, transitioning his attention from his newspaper to me.

This morning I had thought about the best way to deliver the news to my dad, but nothing seemed adequate enough. Hey dad, I got a boyfriend and he’s coming today. Oh, but don’t worry, we haven’t had sex yet. Did I mention he’s in a band and has tattoos? Don’t stress, I’m sure you’ll love him. In my head, those words sounded like a father’s worst nightmare.

“So?” he encouraged me to spill out the beans.

The words rushed out of my mouth way faster than I initially intended to, “I met someone.”

He lowered his glasses, leaving them halfway down the bridge of his nose. “You met someone as in…?” He seemed to want an assurance that we were on the same page and that meant that he wanted to hear the exact words from me.

I didn’t know why talking about John to my dad triggered so many different emotions and panic. Most of the times, I thought it was because John was the first boyfriend I ever had that I was actually willing to present to my family. But other times, I feared that my dad wouldn’t approve him because he doesn’t have a descent job, or because he seems like a bad boy with all of the tattoos and leather jacket. Whatever my excuses were for procrastinating it, right now was the time to let it out.

“His name is John. He’s in a band, and I met him where I used to work when his band was launching a book of theirs. He’s also from here, and he was in Canada for a tour. He’s coming back here sometime today, and it would be lovely if you’d like to meet him.” My voice almost sounded as if I was pleading him to approve John without even seeing him, and not to interrogate me about John’s background instead.

He placed the newspaper completely down, freeing his hands from holding anything and placing them on his lap as he leaned back on his chair. “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

My mind started to panic and I held my breath in, trying to gather a reasonable explanation that would make sense if I said it out loud. “I don’t know, I didn’t find a good moment to say it or something,” I said with a shrug.

“C’mon, Kylie. You could’ve told me sooner…” I heard him say, sounding disappointed with me for a moment. My heart tightened against my chest, worried I had saddened him unnecessarily by omitting John’s existence and presence in my life. “Now how am I supposed to cook my best meal if I’ll only have a few hours?”

My smile grew so wide that my cheeks began to hurt a bit. I jumped out of my seat, walked around the table and threw myself into his arms, kissing his cheek over and over again. “I can’t believe I actually thought you were mad!”

He dug his fingers on my sides, causing me to giggle while he tickled me, as if I were a child once again. “Why would I be if it’s a good thing? I didn’t forget that promise we made back at the airport before you left. I just sure hope he fits the criteria,” he smirked and winked at me.

“You said we would Skype often, and that only happened once. Go easy on your checklist? And please, don’t scare him away!” I said jokingly.

“Me? Never! C’mon, you know better princess. I don’t even own a shotgun for goodness’ sake!” I perkily laughed, hugging him tight before letting him go. “We’re still on for the shopping. It’s the least you can do since I’ll be the one cooking dinner.”

I nodded my head, accepting his invitation. “Who would open a boutique downtown? Wasn’t there already one?” I asked.

“They closed it down. It wasn’t so successful as this one. Go get changed! I’ll be waiting in the car.”



Since it was a private state, the downtown shops didn’t have much variety on markets, shops or any other type of service. There was only one supermarket, a 24-hour gas station, two coffee shops, a Chinese restaurant, and a new boutique. Life in a fancy, high-class neighborhood had its ups and downs. I hopped out of the car, which Dad had parked a few parking spots away from the boutique. The morning sun was comforting as it warmed my skin, and the wind was crispy enough not to make me hot because of the sunshine.

The façade of the boutique was classy, and represented style in every way you perceived it – from the fancy logo that stood above the double doors, its lights flicking in different tints of pink, and the flowers that added a pleasant fragrance, luring whoever passed by to go inside. My dad opened the door, stepping aside to allow ladies first, including an elderly woman that thanked him through a warm smile.

The interior was just as sophisticated as the outside. The color scheme remained to consist pink, white and beige. Although I didn’t find the color pink pleasant, somehow it suited the entire environment in a way that I couldn’t describe. Since the place wasn’t too big, it seemed as if women of different age groups crowded it. Mothers and daughters calmly discussed about which dresses to take and which to leave behind, while fathers and boyfriends engaged in conversations about sports, constantly checking their watches and sighing in impatience. The further I walked into the boutique, the more welcoming it felt. Whether this was a strategic tactic used by the owners, or just their personal taste, they sure knew how to keep people absorbed in something they didn’t necessarily need like clothes. The balcony was at the back of the store, occupying the entire wall. One attendant handled the payments, while the other was busy on the telephone.

While I observed them, looking pretty with their casual, black attire and flawless makeup, the door behind the balcony opened, allowing another person to invade the scene. She was tall and slender, a black dress hugged her figure and her dark hair appeared to be even darker than her dress. Her bangs were just below her eyebrows, causing her to flick it and flutter her eyelashes regularly. She started to write something on a piece of paper, as her wine red fingers curled around her pen.

Before I had the chance to fully understand what was going on, and plan an escape, the gorgeous woman looked up, her sun kissed skin becoming three shades lighter once we shared eye contact. I looked down, spinning around to search for my dad amongst the multitude of people. I found his eyes staring back at me through the windows. He was outside, mouthering the words ‘I’m going to work’ slowly so I could understand him. At that instant, I wanted to sprint and get in the car before he had the chance to leave me behind. But there were too many people on the way and he was out of sight when I considered putting my plan into action.

“What are you doing here?” Her familiar voice filled my ears.

I turned around to find Kate staring at me with wide eyes in pure surprise. “I’m back.”

We suffered a long silence, neither of us willing to move away and continue with our lives like this encounter had never happened. I looked down at the floor, to the sides as I watched people walk past us, and Kate never flinched or stopped looking at me with her intense green eyes.

Kylie, all I’m saying is that you’re both wrong to keep this going for longer than it should. If she isn’t strong enough to apologize first, then maybe you should.

Jack’s precise words emerged on my mind, making me think twice before I walked away from this situation. All I wanted was to turn around, get out of this crowded space, sit on the sidewalk and rebelliously wait for my dad to come back so I could be angry at him for putting me in this position in the very first place. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t just turn away and let my pride thrive above the circumstances. Jack was right, like he always had been, and this could be the only chance to make things right. I was the strong one out of the both of us.

“I’m sorry.” I muttered, feeling as awkward as a fish out of water. “I am profoundly sorry for everything that happened between us. I know that it was a while ago in the past, but it doesn’t change the fact that we never really got past it. I don’t want to point fingers and wonder whose fault it really is anymore. And I’m sorry, for keeping secrets from you and allowing all of that to happen to you. I am so sorry, Kate.”

After my sincere speech, I was planning to take action and follow my previous plan: turn around, and sit on the pavement. Instead, Kate’s reaction was anything but what I had imagined.

With her arms around me, pulling me into the tightest hug I’ve ever experienced in my life, she whispered, “I’m sorry too.” The hug lasted two, or three seconds more than a normal one would, and it held so much more than affection in it. Guilt, regret, and relief were attached to the hug, and I felt a sense of peace invade my soul. “You’re not at full fault, Kylie. But like you said, maybe this time we shouldn’t try and figure out whose fault it truly is.” When we parted, her eyes were watery and she bit her lip as an attempt to hold her tears back, “God! I’ve missed you so much.”

I laughed a long, pleasurable laugh. I knew that I shouldn’t have laughed this much owing to the fact that Kate had just told me something from the heart, but I couldn’t subside the laughter that crawled up my body. Kate stared at me with a confused expression set on her picture perfect face, unaware of my sudden humor.

“You know, it’s been such a long time since this happened, and I always wandered how we’d be able to go back in time,” I tried to speak without any trace of laughter behind my voice, “but I never thought it would be this easy, or that I’d actually see how silly it was of me to keep distancing myself from you.”

Kate smiled, lowering her gaze to stare at her hands like she always did when she was flattered. “I thought I would be angry if I saw you again, but I can’t help it. I can’t help but be glad.”

And just like that, all of the grudges we held against the actions and words spoken, which led us to this very own moment, were gone. They vanished on thin air, like it had never really been there. It was something absolutely insane, how one minute all the feelings I possessed was regret after regret. Regret about how I shouldn’t have been so naïve for seeing the good in people all the time, for allowing others to persuade me as easily as Michael did, to misplace who was important in my life, and to let things get to the state they did before and above all, to lose myself in the process. Now, with Kate’s forgiveness and reconciliation, it was all miraculously forgotten, making me wonder if things were as easy as this, back in this sunny Arizona.

“I think we have to catch up the past year we’ve wasted. Coffee?”

Without my response, Kate had already linked her arms with mine as we walked out of the store, and into the Saturday morning that now, seemed much more radiating than when I had entered Kate’s boutique.

Yet I couldn't help it. Her presence caused my brain to flashback to all the happy moments we had in the past, even if it were a few. And I couldn't help but notice that he wouldn't be at the coffee shop waiting for us like he used to be.