Zoned

I woke up with a pounding headache. I could see lights and blurry figures sitting around me.

"Morning." There was a faint voice that was beside me. I turned to see that I was in bed at our apartment. I couldn't see who was there, but it sounded like Jorel.

"Hey." I said as I rubbed my eyes. I lied on my back and took deep breaths. I felt sick.

"Rich...." he said. The way he said my name gave me assurance that it was Jorel for sure. I did all I could to smile and look at him. My vision was coming back and his face made me worried. He had a strange look that brought me discomfort.

"What's wrong? What happened last night?" I sat up and felt pressure in my stomach and knew I was about to vomit. Just then, Jorel held up a little trash can and put it in my lap. My face was burried inside the little plastic tub and it smelled awful. After I pulled my head out of the trash can, Jorel slowly took it away, and put it on the floor next to him. He was sitting in the really crappy chair A-Rad and I use to put our laundry on when we're too lazy to hang clothes up. He was right by my side.

"You, uh....you got drunk. At the club last night." He didn't look at me. He looked at my hands that were sitting in my lap.

"Yeah? We all had fun, I thought?" I was really worried about the tone of his voice. "What's wrong? Is A alright? Where is she?"

"Yeah, sh-she's fine. She's on the couch sleeping."

I sighed with relief and didn't feel so tense anymore. "Okay, well what's wrong then?"

"What all do you remember? From last night." He finally looked at my face.

"I remember going to Circles. Then we met up with Jake and Tommy at the club. We all got drunk and had fun."

"More specific than that. After we go there." He sounded worried again.

"Why won't you just tell me what's wrong? You clearly know."

"I can't because I don't know your side of things. Just please tell me, Rich." He was firm with his words.

"I..." That was all I could say.

"I? I what? Richi, what did you do?"

"Dylan. We had sex in the men's bathroom. I remember walking out, A-Rad telling me something I don't remember, and getting more to drink. That's it." I knew I was making a hurt face because his expression also changed.

"Dylan?" he said calmly.

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"Wha-? Yes?"

"When were you with him, exactly?"

"After A-Rad and I talked. I got more shots and gave one to Dylan. Jordon was with us for a minute, then I led took Dylan to the bathroom. Simple as that."

"You were with Dylan when Jake and A-Rad walked down the hall?"

"Yeah, sure. I saw him talking to her and didn't think much of it. Why?"

"Richi....I was with Jake and Tommy when A-Rad came up to Jake. After he walked down the hall, Tommy went and sat down next to Jordon..." he stopped talking. He looked back at my hands and continued, "I was standing with Tommy as Jake left for a while with A, and I watched as Tommy sat next to Jordon. I was about to sit next to them, but I saw George waving at me from the crowd. So I went to him."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"He was with Dylan and Danny."

I sat there, not sure of what he was talking about. "What are you trying to get at, J?" I was getting angry. "Is this bastard accusing me of something, because it sounds like it!" I thought.

He looked me straight in the eye and blatantly said it, "It was Tommy. Not Dylan."

"No, I'm pretty sure it was Dylan. I don't even know Scribs all that well, so why would I sleep with him? Especially when I like Dylan so much!"

"Look, you had a lot to drink. I'm surprised you even remember anything after the third shot of Everclear."

"Jorel, I didn't-" I shook my head and started tearing up. He quickly scootched me over and sat next to me and put his arm around me. "I didn't do it."

"Rich, you did. I saw Jake come out of the hallway as you walked to the bathroom."

"How come you didn't stop me?"

"I didn't know what you were doing and didn't think anything of it."

I started crying. Tears streamed down my face and I could feel my pulse in my temple.

"Why are you crying so hard, Rich? It's not that bad."

"I feel like a whore!" I screamed. I could tell he wasn't expecting that big of a reaction by the way he tensed up. "I always seem to do something that makes me seem like a slut! It's been like this since high school and I haven't even fucked anyone until last night! My last goddamn boyfriend constantly accused me of all sorts of made up bullshit and he never let me forget it! Things finally got better between us, and when I thought he changed, he fucking turns around and says, 'I knew I could get you to crawl back. It wasn't hard considering all you want is sex, you whore.' He never let me forget about it! I was even called a slut when I was raped and no one seemed to care about how I felt! No one!" I broke down. I couldn't hold anything back as soon as I started. I was so scared of everything falling apart and I didn't want things to change. I was finally happy. Jorel put my head on his shoulder and let me cry.

"Why is this so bad to you? The whole Scribs thing?" he asked gently.

"Because I wanted to do it with someone I truly cared about and not some drunk asshole in a club! Whores do that!" I screamed.

"You're not a whore, Richi."

Just then, A-Rad came in. "Richi?" She rushed over to the other side of the bed and before I could answer, she was already by my side holding my hands and shushing me. "Baby girl, I know things are tough. Just breathe, Richards, breathe."

"Richards?" Jorel sounded confused. "That's your real name?"

"Last name." A said quickly. I took deep breaths and leaned my head on her shoulder. "What happened?"

After explaining to her what happened, I started crying again. "Sweet heart, you are not a whore. I promise you. You're not someone who has sex for money, just for fun with random guys on the street. You've never done it before! How in the hell does it make you a slut!?" A-Rad was calm.

"I've done things for two boyfriends, though."

"In high school, first off, and you thought they'd be there forever. The first guy was a jack twat who can go fuck himself, and the second one turned out to be another pig. He actually left you because of the things you WOULDN'T do for him! Darlin, you are the last person anyone would call a slut, okay?" She put her hand on my chin and turned my head towards her. "Okay?" I stopped crying.

I nodded and said okay. "Where's Dylan? What happened after everything?" I wiped my face with my hands.

Jorel sighed and widened his eyes. He rubbed his face and then looked at me. "Dylan didn't come home last night, actually. He found out, somehow, and got super drunk. He left with that blonde girl that works at Circles. She ran into George when Dylan and I were dancing with him. At the end of the night, he found her and they left. He hasn't called yet."

~TO BE CONTINUED...~