You Are the Heart Inside of Me

"Why are you still alive you little emo bitch?" Someone yells at me. I flipped them off and ran off to my car. 'Why do they all have to be so mean?' I wonder to myself. Today was the day. The day that I would finally give into all of the taunting. They would all get what they have wanted for years. I was shaking as I drove to my house. Neither of my parents would be home yet. I pulled into the driveway, locked my car, unlocked the front door, went into the kitchen and grabbed my mothers favorite knife, and took it up with me into my room.

I didn't understand why people were so cruel here. Its like no one cared about anyone. They didn't care if someone died because of them. No that's exactly what they wanted, and I would give it to them. And when they finally got what they wanted, I hoped that they would feel guilty, and never do that to anyone ever again. I grabbed my laptop and logged onto face book. I was offline like always, so no one would see that I was on, so I didn't have to hear their crap.

'Goodbye cruel world. I hope you all enjoyed putting through me through so much hell for the past sixteen years of my life.' I type. Once I posted that up, all my face book "friends" replied saying, 'finally, she takes the hint!' or 'goodbye little bitch' and stuff like that. I had tears in my eyes now. I went to click log off when I seen a link from my one and only friend at school. Bambi. 'Sweaty, before you continue, please click this link and listen to this song. Maybe it will give you confidence to keep going.' She typed.

I clicked the link and listened to the song. I listened very carefully to the song. They were saying to not to go out. I smiled as I continued to listen to this song. I liked the point that they were putting out.

You Are The Heart- By Blood On The Dance Floor

Every 14.2 minutes someone in the United States dies by suicide.

Nearly 1,000,000 people make a suicide attempt every year.

90% of people who die by suicide had a treatable mental disorder when they Died.

This is our message to give hope back

to those who are lost in despair

Verse One:

staring blank

at the wall

Never been

so alone

why can't they

get me

would they care

If I was gone

spinning around

all alone

in my head

tonight

would it all

be so easy

would they ever miss me?

Pre-chorus:

You can't let them win

I won't let you give in

Chorus:

You are the heart

that beats inside of me

if you give up tonight

you give up on me

So don't go out

Like a teenage tragedy

Verse 2:

You are

screaming

seems like no one's listening

you want

to be found

No one knows you're missing

You wonder why

There's no tears

when you cry

And it feels

Like Goodbye,

Well

Not Tonight

PRECHORUS:

Every sad ending

Has a new beginning

Chorus 2:

STAND UP AND FIGHT

DON'T LET THEM HOLD YOU DOWN

IT CAN'T END TONIGHT

WE GOTTA HOLD OUR GROUND

NOT GOING OUT

NOT GOING OUT

LIKE A TEENAGE TRAGEDY

Bridge:

Put down the knife

Take back you life

Outro:

Boom boom boom

You are the heart inside

Boom boom boom

You are the heart inside of me

(lyrics from the Newsletter from BOTDF in case anyone was wondering. if you haven't listened to this song, you need too.)

Once the song ended, I began crying. I ran back down to the kitchen and put my mother's knife back in its normal, spot and went back to my laptop. 'F*ck you all! You know what, I have more reasons to live then what I think, and what you all think. One of these days, the way you guys treat me, could be one or your kids.' I type. Then I messaged Bambi and told her thanks. She wrote back saying 'No problem.'

After that I decided to re-listen to the song and after a couple more listens, I learned the whole song. I went onto you-tube and listened to music videos by the band that wrote the song. The first song I clicked was Bewitched. It was a pretty weird music video, but had a nice beat. Then after that I clicked Believe. This song made me want to keep going too, but not as much as You Are The Heart. I smiled as I listened to my new found hero's.

I went to bed that night with a huge smile on my face. I was in such a good mood. I was finally going to ignore all of the horrible people around me, and live life to its fullest. I would never attempt to give up again. And it was all due to Blood On The Dance and their amazing, beautiful music.