Just Harry

Time marches on. I joined the Aiken National Polo Team, and the constant traveling and competing kept my mind off of things, for the most part. My days began at four am and ended after midnight, so my mind had little time to wander to him. I attempted to assimilate into 'normal' everyday life. I went out with friends when i had to the time, pretending I was fine. I worked, I played polo, I, for all semblances, was perfectly fine and functioning. I even went out with one of my teammates, a Harvard grad named Anthony, but it wasn’t the same, there was no spark for me with him. He was as sweet as he could be, treated me like a doll and was head over heels for me, but my heart wasnt in it. I felt like a porcelain doll. Perfect on the outside, hollowed on the inside. I was a ruined woman, my heart lost to a prince that was unattainable.

I refused to ride any horse but mine, Royal, Ren and Cami. I worked hard with my two and eventually they were just as hardy and well trained as Cami at polo, and the three of them could read my desires without me speaking a word, and we dominated the polo league from coast to coast. Sometimes I felt as if they were the only ones who understood that I wasn't fine. I was aching, i was hollow. They would look at me with those soft, liquid brown eyes and nudge me gently, and I would for a moment feel like Harry was there, putting my tack up for me or getting me a snack, and would be back any second. Then the horrible truth, the truth that I broke up with him, would come crashing down around me. Chelsy's taunts filled my waking nightmares. Not good enough and American whelp.

My polo team and I competed regularly, a match every weekend if not more and practice every day. I was always on the move, with barely enough time to breathe. I grew skinny, so skinny every bone showed. I had no time to cook, no reason for caring about my health. I continued practicing in the early morning hours as I had with Harry, then feeding the horses and going to work for the endless double shifts I asked for to clear my brain, then team practice in the evenings. My ribs began to show, despite the lean muscles growing on my arms and legs from the constant training, and my mother or a co-worker or friend would look at me and cluck her tongue, telling me I was working too hard, then try to shovel some carb loaded treat at me, I would eat them obligingly in their presence, then the morsels would mold away to nothing in my kitchen.

Finally, it was the last match of the season, December 15. We were on our home field and snow swirled around us as we headed to the pitch. As per the usual, Anthony held back and walked with me, trying once more to get me to go to dinner again. He never gave up, always bringing me coffee or asking me out, or taking me home from practice. He wasn't the only male interested in me. I was infamous in the polo world, for being Prince Harry’s ex, and also extremely talented, and every male at matches wanted to be my next conquest. They would stalk me around the matches, cozying up to me and trying to make nice, then when i turned them down would stomp away with a harsh "Apparently she's too good for us, commoners." They had no idea how deeply their bites hit me. As I walked to the field, I was a zombie, not even hearing a word Anthony said as we entered the pitch and our horses were presented to us. Anthony sighed in disappointment, but he was used to it. Royal was my first mount. The order was always Royal, then Ren, then Cami, to tie up the end as she was my strongest horse. Royal whinnied as she saw me approach, and nudged me gently, then whuffled in my hair. I smiled softly at her, rubbing her head and giving her a soft kiss. I only showed affection to my horses. they were my proxy Harrys.

“Gabriella, darling.” A familiar voice called behind me, bringing memories that burned, and I turned.

Ariella stood behind me, smoking an elegant cigarette and holding the reins to her mount, whom I recalled was named Phoenix. She looked ravishing as always, somehow the generic polo's we were all issued looked specially tailored on her, her helmet looked charming instead on insectlike. I smiled, despite the pain her memory brought, and went to hug her and kiss her cheeks. She returned the warmth and then she held me at arms length and clucked her tongue.

“Oh dearest you are a mess. You must have lost twenty pounds!” She cried, eyes tightening.

“I may have, I am not sure,” I whispered, voice hoarse from misuse.

Her eyes were full of hurt and sorrow. “Oh love, you miss him terribly.” she murmured, pulling me in to kiss my head softly. she knew. she understood.

I nodded, eyes filling with tears. Her touch was so like Harry's her voice, it destroyed my resolve.

“Well then dearest, we simply must take you away from here then. The polo season ends tomorrow, and I simply demand you come home with me and spend at least a month on my estates in Derbyshire. We will party and dance and make new memories. It will be an absolute ball.” She announced in that regal way of hers. I don't think I had a chance to say no.

After some quick arrangements and Ariella sweeping into the great house to talk with the owner of my barn, kathryn, who fully agreed I needed a change of scenery, it was decided I would go to England with Ariella for six weeks. I sat back as the plans were created, not a participating party in anything. I was given the whole time paid vacation from work, and that evening, with Kathryn and Ariella’s help, I was packed and ready to go.

As Kathryn carried my suitcase to Ariella’s waiting towncar, I slid Harry’s credit card from my bedside drawer to the pocket of my coach purse. I would simply ask Ariella to take it to him at some point. I would not have to see him, he was on duty in Afghanistan or somewhere off in the Middle East.

As we exited the Great House, which Ariella called "ravishing", I shivered slightly. My reduced body fat meant that I was never warm. Ariella sighed softly and threw a fur (yes, a real fur. That woman was from another time) around me and bundled me into the car, fussing over me and shoveling pastries she had stashed in the car.

"I swear it, in a week i will have some weight put on you my darling." SHe announced.

I smiled softly, obediently eating the danish she had given to me, and didn't say a word.

“In a wink we will be at my home, and you will love every moment of it." Ariella stated, not taking no for an answer.

I nodded weakly, pulled the warmth the fur offered closer, and leaned against the window as the car bumped away from my home, the barn fading into the distance.