Torn

We talked for hours. About everything from the last ten years, even all the X-Factor stuff. It was difficult for Harry to talk about the X-Factor, I could tell that, but it was amazing to hear all stories of the tours he’d been on and all the awards he’d won and all the amazing people he’d met. We talked about how much we missed the old days, the days playing football at the park and hiding in the forest in our secret spot, we talked about how we used to hang out with and the shows we used to watch together and our favourite meals that my mum used to cook for us. He still didn’t know about my mum, and I didn’t know how to break it to him so I just left it, the conversation was stable at the moment and I didn’t want to ruin it with my problems. It was great for Harry to tell me how much he missed me and the old days too, I thought it was just me who missed him, I didn’t really think of Harry the type to miss someone as unimportant as me. Knowing he missed everything just as much as me made me feel better somehow.

By the time the conversation began slowing down it was 4am, we had been talking all night. I thought back to the whole ten year thing realising how this was the best thing that could’ve happened. Of course, if we had gone out and did something it would’ve been amazing, but after not talking to him for so long it was just as good to spend the night with my best friend talking about the amazing ten years we’d had.

“Do you remember the first day we met?” Harry asked, I looked him in the eyes before replying, “Every detail,” plainly.

“We were so young,” Harry said, staring at his ceiling. I thought about this for a second, he was right, we were. Both of us were only nine when we met; it was so mature of Harry to do what he did for me at the age he was.

Suddenly, everything seemed to go quiet, even though it already was silent. This was a different type of silent somehow. Harry turned to face me. He looked me in the eyes, there was something different about his eyes now though, something more intense.

“Your amazing Nik, don’t ever forget that,” he whispered to me as he moved his body closer to mine. Our eyes were now long; he was staring deep into mine. It seemed as if everything in the world had fallen away and it was only us two left in the whole entire planet. He moved his eyes to my lips and bit his lip before locking eyes with me once more. He moved his head closer so it was inches away from mine. I could feel his warm breath on my face, each breath making every nerve in my body tingle. He looked at my lips again before return them swiftly to my eyes. He had the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen, they were so intense at that very moment you felt as if you could get lost in them,

“Are you sure,” Harry whispered, his sweet breath making me shiver, every hair on my body stood up. I slowly nodded. Now our foreheads were resting on each other. Slowly, our lips touched, sending sparks through my body. Our lips moved in perfect sync with each other as my hands found their way to his curls, becoming entangled. It was such a passionate kiss, so intense yet so gentle at the same time.

Then I realised. This was wrong. I shouldn’t be doing this, Harry was my best friend! Immediately, I pulled away,

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, choking back a tear. I grabbed my bag and flung I over my shoulder as I left his room.

I began walking down the hall frantically. I kept my head down as I walked. It was probably 4.30am by now, I didn’t think any of the boys would be up now so I allowed by tears to flow freely. I just needed to get out of here, I needed fresh air. Suddenly, I was on the floor. My bag was on the floor too, only its contents were scattered around it. I looked up to see a very confused and tired Niall,

“God Niall, what are you doing?” I moaned, wiping away my tears now.

“I was hungry!” He protested. He looked at my face and took note of my appearance. Great, he knew I’d been crying. It probably wasn’t half obvious with the mascara lines that were probably down my face. As he looked at me he put his food down on a conveniently placed table next to us. He crouched down and began shoving things back into my bag, then he put the bag over his shoulder and he helped me up and pulled me into a hug.

“What’s wrong babe,” he asked as he allowed me to cry into his shirt. I didn’t say anything in response, just soaked his shirt, which he seemed completely ok about. After a few minutes he took me into his room,

“Wanna tell me what happened?” he asked. Slowly I shook my head. I knew if I began I would never finish, I was an emotional wreck right now. “Ok then babe, whenever you’re ready,” he replied, I smiled weakly at this.

After I had soaked his t-shirt, we began to talk. Not about Harry, but about food. It was a strange topic to talk about, but it took my mind of my problems so I didn’t mind. It was so sweet of Niall to try and take my mind of Harry, especially considering he didn’t know what was wrong. We talked until the sun came up and I had to leave for college. I left the hotel, grateful there was no press outside the hotel to catch my tear-stained face. I got home to find a very concerned dad. I forgot I had been out all night. To save an argument I told him I was at Charlotte’s before he asked. Yes, it may have been a lie, but it was a white lie, and I didn’t bend the truth-much.

I got ready and left for college. When I got there I was greeted by Charlotte. I told her about last night, but I didn’t tell her about Harry and everything that happened between us. I didn’t want to keep it from her, but I hadn’t come to terms with it myself yet and I would probably end up crying if I brought it up again. I told her about the press outside the hotel, I told her about Louis on the hall with Zayn, which she seemed to find amusing. Then I told her about Niall and how close we became after we collided. I told her we collided, but I didn’t tell her why.

The bell rang and we walked to our first class which was an economics lecture. When we first got in there I saw down towards the back of the lecture hall so that I would be able to text easier. Over the years, I had picked up the best places to sit to get away with texting. They didn’t mean you couldn’t get caught at all, but they made it a lot easier. I picked a seat that was towards the back and it wasn’t in the very middle of the row or on the end, but between them both.

Five minutes into the lecture and I pulled out my phone and texted Niall.

“Heyy! I’m bored, entertain me- Nik xx”

Within a minute he had texted me back,

“Shouldn’t you be listening, not texting?;)- Nialler xx”

I smiled at this. I loved how close me and Niall had grown in a matter of hours. He was just so perfect, he always knew what to say. I grinned at his text again as I re-read it,

“Shhh;) what are you doing anyway? –Nik xx”

He replied almost immediately, I loved fast repliers,

“We’re at the recording studio, recording a new song today- Nialler xx”

I was about to text him back when my name was called. It was the professor.

“Is there a problem, Miss Clarke?” he asked, pushing his glasses up to the bridge of his nose as he did this. He was an old, bald man, but in general he was a good teacher. It was then I realised I had been grinning like an idiot at Niall’s texts,

“No Sir, none at all,” I replied, sliding my phone back into my pocket and attempting to listen to the lecture.