Will You Be There?
Chapter 6
Ryan's POV*
It had been 3 hours since I asked Felix if he wanted breakfast, I didn't want to bother him but I felt like I should knock on the door. Should I? Maybe he just wants to be alone. . But something tells me there's something terribly wrong. . I sighed and looked out my window, I was in my room, huddled against the window sill. I just kept looking at my door, Don't worry Cry, Felix will walk in any moment now. I waited seconds, those seconds turned into minutes, those minutes turned to hours. Something was wrong. I gasped, Could he have killed himself? The thought scared me, I scurried to my door, I ran down the hallway and slammed open Felix's door. The sight scared me the most, nobody was in there. I searched through the dark, "N-no.. No. . ." I looked in his drawer and found a letter, my heart raced.
The letter read:
Dear Friends and Family,
As you all know, my dear Marzia has passed on. I am completely crushed, It seems that I'm falling in a never ending hole of depression. I feel so alone. . . I just wanted to say, don't look for me, don't find me, and don't bring me back. By the time you find this letter, I will have been long gone. . . So Ryan, I just want you to know, Thanks! For everything! You have been so kind as to coming to Italy. I love you man. (No homo) As for my father, Pai, I'm sorry, but it just has to end this way. There are 7 BILLION people in the world, I don't think I make a difference. Please father, don't feel as though you could have done something. There was nothing you could have done. And as for everyone else, I'M SORRY.
I love you all,
Felix *brofist to everyone*
I shook my head in disbelief, "N-no. . . This can't be happening. . NO!!"
I quickly got my phone out and scrolled through the contacts, I clicked Felix's picture.
1 ring. . .
2 rings. . .
3 rings. . .
4 rings. . .
Hi I'm PEEWWWWDDDIIIEEEPIIIEE!!! And I'm Marzia. Sorry I couldn't answer, please leave a message and I'll get back to you. Thanks bro.
My heart sank, "F-Felix ran away. . ." My world stood still, I couldn't move. All this time, Felix was gone. B-but where could he have gone? I managed to get my legs moving and walked to the kitchen and called 911.
"Hell 911 what is your emergency.", the phone attendant said.
I stayed silent, I couldn't find my voice, it was like it was lost in the sadness that overwhelmed me.
"Excuse me, are you there?"
I cleared my throat, "Y-yes. . My. . friend is missing."
"Alright sir, when did the individual go missing?"
"Around 6 or 7 am this morning."
"Why didn't you call sooner?"
"Well, recently he just lost his girlfriend and I thought he just needed to be alone in his room. And it wasn't until now I realized there was something wrong. I went to the room and read a note-"
"Alright sir, I'll send an officer to you're address. What is it?"
I told her the address and she told me to stay tight. When I hung up, I was still in shock. Was this just a dream? It had to be, I closed my eyes tightly. Hoping, wishing, that when I open them again I'd be in my room, and I'd walk down the hallway to find Felix in his room sleeping. I opened my eyes, no such luck. I was still in the kitchen, the note was still in my hand, and there where police lights in front of the house.I heard a loud knock, I opened the door. A tall man with a scruffy beard stood on the other sighed, he was pale and his veins popped out of his skin. Shouldn't this guy retire already?
"Are you Ryan?", the police officer asked.
"Yes."
~~After the Police investigated. They told Ryan to wait 24 hours from then, and if Felix doesn't show up, they'd set up a 'Missing Person' report. Ryan was fustrated and he decided to go look on his own. No such luck. He called Felix's parents to tell them the tragic news, everyone is now on hurt even more. Could things get any worse?All Ryan could do is in his room, depressed as hell.~~
It's been 12 hours since Felix has gone missing, I have been calling, and calling, hoping Felix would answer. No luck. I felt at fault, I could have saved him, I could have consulted him, tell him everything would be okay. But no, he had to go missing. I cried, I put in my earphones and listened to the song, "Can't forget you." by My Darkest Days.
~~Lyrics~~
When all is said and done, you're the only one.
When all is said and done, you're the only one.
You're the only one.
Whoever said this pain
Would ever go away?
Didn't know what it meant to
Be here without you.
Is everything you see
Reminding you of me?
Does it hurt when you breathe too?
Cause it does when I do
(Cause it does when I do)
When anybody says your name
I wanna run away.
I keep remembering
I can't forget you.
It doesn't matter what I try
It happens anyways.
Its been forever
And I can't forget you
With every single day
It won't go away
The way i feel about you
And when its said and done
You're the only one
And I can't regret you
So i can't forget you
When all is said and done you're the only one
When all is said and done you're the only one
You're the only one
I hate to feel this way
My days all feel the same
And yesterday was proof
That tomorrow will too
No matter what they say
I can't drink it all away
Cause all that i do
Is think about you
Is think about you
When anybody says your name
I wanna run away
I keep remembering
I can't forget you
It doesn't matter what i try
it happens anyways
Its been forever
and I can't forget you
With every single day
It won't go away
The way i feel about you
And when its said and done
You're the only one
And I can't regret you
So i can't forget you
Stop haunting my dreams
Please set me free
Stop haunting my dreams
Please set me free
You're the only one
When anybody says your name
I wanna run away
I keep remembering
I can't forget you
It doesn't matter what i try
it happens anyways
Its been forever
and I can't forget you
With every single day
It won't go away
The way i feel about you
And when its said and done
You're the only one
And I can't regret you
So i can't forget you
Stop haunting my dreams
Its been forever
and i can't forget you
Please set me free
Its been forever and
I can't forget you
I sat in my bed, crying. The life seemed to be sucked out of me, I knew Felix didn't just run away. He left to go commit. . . Suicide. I banged my fist against the wall, he can't do this. I have to keep looking for him, even if he is. . dead. . .
~~Felix's POV~~'
I sat in the little hose me and Marzia used to go to all the time. We used to sleep here for days, and it would just be the two of us. We would snuggle up in the bed and just talk for hours, the best part? We never told anyone about it, it was 'Our Place.'
I wiped my teary eyes, "This is the best place to die."
I brought the gun to my head, my hands where shaky and my palms were sweaty. I sighed, I couldn't do it, at least, not like this. I looked out my window, Did Ryan already notice that I was gone? Did he tell my bros?
I sighed, I know I'd be missed by many. But I just can't take this pain. It's all too much to take. And nobody seems to understand me, I'm all alone in this world.
I cuddled up in bed, when I closed my eyes, I had a bitter sweet dream.
~~Dream~~
Marzia laid in the bed next to me, she was sleeping. I smiled and wrapped my arms around her, the touch of her soft skin against mine, it just felt right. This just felt. . . Right. I buried my face into her neck, I took a deep breath. She smelled just like she used to, cookies and cream.
I smirked, "Wake up, sleeping beauty."
She grumbled and shooed me away with her hand, I smiled. "CutiePie, wake up."
She grumbled, "Shut up, Felix."
I tilted my head, "What is it, love?"
She turned to face him, "I'm very upset at you."
I was shocked, "But why?"
Her brown eyes watered, "Felix, you're so upset over my loss. You're going to kill yourself for Jesus sake! Why would you do that? You have millions of people who love you. I'm not the only one."
My heart shattered, "But Marzia, I love you. I love them, but I mean... I don't love them like I love you."
Marzia slapped me, "Felix, you're being selfish. Imagine all those people who will suffer because of your loss. It's enough that I'm dead, I don't want you here too. Especially since I know someone very close to you. . Loves you so much. They love you so much, that they tried to let you go, to be happy with me. They smiled and laughed, and they seem like the happiest person in the world, but that person. . Is broken. All that person wants is for you to be happy, and this is how you repay them? They have done everything in their power to help you, but you seem to just push away the love and the help. And what's more, you cut yourself! Self harm, Felix? I never knew you'd do that! I'm just very upset at you."
I just starred at her, baffled, "B-but Marzia. . ."
She glared at me, "Felix I love you so much, I don't want you to be sad. I want you to go on in life, to live, to laugh, to love again. I want you to be happy, but it's not enough for me to want it. You have to be accepting. Oh and your mother. . She is so sad, Felix. When she saw you cry the night I died, she just wanted to hug you, to tell you she loves you. And when you cut yourself with that knife. . . She lost it. She cried so much, it was unbelievable."
I just starred at Marzia, "I. . I love you. And I miss you so much, I just you to be by my side again. I was going to propose to you. . But now you're gone. How do I deal with this? I do I deal with your absence? Is it even possible?''
Marzia moves some hair from my face, she looked into my eyes and smiled gently, "Felix. . I'm going to tell you right now, you will always love me. But there will be a day where you won't be in love with me, or at least, you won't love me like you do now. And as far as dealing, just accept. Accept the fact that I'm gone, and accept the love that is being given to you."
I curled up against Marzia, my head on her chest, "But I'll still miss you. I just. . . It's so hard, Marzia."
She kissed my head, " I know, baby. I know. But remember, I'm in your heart. For now, and forever."
I smiled and kissed her, "I love you."
She smiled, "I love you too, Felix."
I closed my eyes and I heard her heart beat. This was perfect..
~~End of Dream~~
I opened my eyes, the sun hit my face, I was in the bed. I looked to my left, no one was there. I sat up and rubbed my face, It was all. . Just a dream? Figures. . . I sat in the bed, I put my face in my hands and cried. I can't help it anymore, I feel like. . . My whole life is just a dream. . . "Please." I begged, "Please.. If this is a dream, wake me up. . Please."
It had been 3 hours since I asked Felix if he wanted breakfast, I didn't want to bother him but I felt like I should knock on the door. Should I? Maybe he just wants to be alone. . But something tells me there's something terribly wrong. . I sighed and looked out my window, I was in my room, huddled against the window sill. I just kept looking at my door, Don't worry Cry, Felix will walk in any moment now. I waited seconds, those seconds turned into minutes, those minutes turned to hours. Something was wrong. I gasped, Could he have killed himself? The thought scared me, I scurried to my door, I ran down the hallway and slammed open Felix's door. The sight scared me the most, nobody was in there. I searched through the dark, "N-no.. No. . ." I looked in his drawer and found a letter, my heart raced.
The letter read:
Dear Friends and Family,
As you all know, my dear Marzia has passed on. I am completely crushed, It seems that I'm falling in a never ending hole of depression. I feel so alone. . . I just wanted to say, don't look for me, don't find me, and don't bring me back. By the time you find this letter, I will have been long gone. . . So Ryan, I just want you to know, Thanks! For everything! You have been so kind as to coming to Italy. I love you man. (No homo) As for my father, Pai, I'm sorry, but it just has to end this way. There are 7 BILLION people in the world, I don't think I make a difference. Please father, don't feel as though you could have done something. There was nothing you could have done. And as for everyone else, I'M SORRY.
I love you all,
Felix *brofist to everyone*
I shook my head in disbelief, "N-no. . . This can't be happening. . NO!!"
I quickly got my phone out and scrolled through the contacts, I clicked Felix's picture.
1 ring. . .
2 rings. . .
3 rings. . .
4 rings. . .
Hi I'm PEEWWWWDDDIIIEEEPIIIEE!!! And I'm Marzia. Sorry I couldn't answer, please leave a message and I'll get back to you. Thanks bro.
My heart sank, "F-Felix ran away. . ." My world stood still, I couldn't move. All this time, Felix was gone. B-but where could he have gone? I managed to get my legs moving and walked to the kitchen and called 911.
"Hell 911 what is your emergency.", the phone attendant said.
I stayed silent, I couldn't find my voice, it was like it was lost in the sadness that overwhelmed me.
"Excuse me, are you there?"
I cleared my throat, "Y-yes. . My. . friend is missing."
"Alright sir, when did the individual go missing?"
"Around 6 or 7 am this morning."
"Why didn't you call sooner?"
"Well, recently he just lost his girlfriend and I thought he just needed to be alone in his room. And it wasn't until now I realized there was something wrong. I went to the room and read a note-"
"Alright sir, I'll send an officer to you're address. What is it?"
I told her the address and she told me to stay tight. When I hung up, I was still in shock. Was this just a dream? It had to be, I closed my eyes tightly. Hoping, wishing, that when I open them again I'd be in my room, and I'd walk down the hallway to find Felix in his room sleeping. I opened my eyes, no such luck. I was still in the kitchen, the note was still in my hand, and there where police lights in front of the house.I heard a loud knock, I opened the door. A tall man with a scruffy beard stood on the other sighed, he was pale and his veins popped out of his skin. Shouldn't this guy retire already?
"Are you Ryan?", the police officer asked.
"Yes."
~~After the Police investigated. They told Ryan to wait 24 hours from then, and if Felix doesn't show up, they'd set up a 'Missing Person' report. Ryan was fustrated and he decided to go look on his own. No such luck. He called Felix's parents to tell them the tragic news, everyone is now on hurt even more. Could things get any worse?All Ryan could do is in his room, depressed as hell.~~
It's been 12 hours since Felix has gone missing, I have been calling, and calling, hoping Felix would answer. No luck. I felt at fault, I could have saved him, I could have consulted him, tell him everything would be okay. But no, he had to go missing. I cried, I put in my earphones and listened to the song, "Can't forget you." by My Darkest Days.
~~Lyrics~~
When all is said and done, you're the only one.
When all is said and done, you're the only one.
You're the only one.
Whoever said this pain
Would ever go away?
Didn't know what it meant to
Be here without you.
Is everything you see
Reminding you of me?
Does it hurt when you breathe too?
Cause it does when I do
(Cause it does when I do)
When anybody says your name
I wanna run away.
I keep remembering
I can't forget you.
It doesn't matter what I try
It happens anyways.
Its been forever
And I can't forget you
With every single day
It won't go away
The way i feel about you
And when its said and done
You're the only one
And I can't regret you
So i can't forget you
When all is said and done you're the only one
When all is said and done you're the only one
You're the only one
I hate to feel this way
My days all feel the same
And yesterday was proof
That tomorrow will too
No matter what they say
I can't drink it all away
Cause all that i do
Is think about you
Is think about you
When anybody says your name
I wanna run away
I keep remembering
I can't forget you
It doesn't matter what i try
it happens anyways
Its been forever
and I can't forget you
With every single day
It won't go away
The way i feel about you
And when its said and done
You're the only one
And I can't regret you
So i can't forget you
Stop haunting my dreams
Please set me free
Stop haunting my dreams
Please set me free
You're the only one
When anybody says your name
I wanna run away
I keep remembering
I can't forget you
It doesn't matter what i try
it happens anyways
Its been forever
and I can't forget you
With every single day
It won't go away
The way i feel about you
And when its said and done
You're the only one
And I can't regret you
So i can't forget you
Stop haunting my dreams
Its been forever
and i can't forget you
Please set me free
Its been forever and
I can't forget you
I sat in my bed, crying. The life seemed to be sucked out of me, I knew Felix didn't just run away. He left to go commit. . . Suicide. I banged my fist against the wall, he can't do this. I have to keep looking for him, even if he is. . dead. . .
~~Felix's POV~~'
I sat in the little hose me and Marzia used to go to all the time. We used to sleep here for days, and it would just be the two of us. We would snuggle up in the bed and just talk for hours, the best part? We never told anyone about it, it was 'Our Place.'
I wiped my teary eyes, "This is the best place to die."
I brought the gun to my head, my hands where shaky and my palms were sweaty. I sighed, I couldn't do it, at least, not like this. I looked out my window, Did Ryan already notice that I was gone? Did he tell my bros?
I sighed, I know I'd be missed by many. But I just can't take this pain. It's all too much to take. And nobody seems to understand me, I'm all alone in this world.
I cuddled up in bed, when I closed my eyes, I had a bitter sweet dream.
~~Dream~~
Marzia laid in the bed next to me, she was sleeping. I smiled and wrapped my arms around her, the touch of her soft skin against mine, it just felt right. This just felt. . . Right. I buried my face into her neck, I took a deep breath. She smelled just like she used to, cookies and cream.
I smirked, "Wake up, sleeping beauty."
She grumbled and shooed me away with her hand, I smiled. "CutiePie, wake up."
She grumbled, "Shut up, Felix."
I tilted my head, "What is it, love?"
She turned to face him, "I'm very upset at you."
I was shocked, "But why?"
Her brown eyes watered, "Felix, you're so upset over my loss. You're going to kill yourself for Jesus sake! Why would you do that? You have millions of people who love you. I'm not the only one."
My heart shattered, "But Marzia, I love you. I love them, but I mean... I don't love them like I love you."
Marzia slapped me, "Felix, you're being selfish. Imagine all those people who will suffer because of your loss. It's enough that I'm dead, I don't want you here too. Especially since I know someone very close to you. . Loves you so much. They love you so much, that they tried to let you go, to be happy with me. They smiled and laughed, and they seem like the happiest person in the world, but that person. . Is broken. All that person wants is for you to be happy, and this is how you repay them? They have done everything in their power to help you, but you seem to just push away the love and the help. And what's more, you cut yourself! Self harm, Felix? I never knew you'd do that! I'm just very upset at you."
I just starred at her, baffled, "B-but Marzia. . ."
She glared at me, "Felix I love you so much, I don't want you to be sad. I want you to go on in life, to live, to laugh, to love again. I want you to be happy, but it's not enough for me to want it. You have to be accepting. Oh and your mother. . She is so sad, Felix. When she saw you cry the night I died, she just wanted to hug you, to tell you she loves you. And when you cut yourself with that knife. . . She lost it. She cried so much, it was unbelievable."
I just starred at Marzia, "I. . I love you. And I miss you so much, I just you to be by my side again. I was going to propose to you. . But now you're gone. How do I deal with this? I do I deal with your absence? Is it even possible?''
Marzia moves some hair from my face, she looked into my eyes and smiled gently, "Felix. . I'm going to tell you right now, you will always love me. But there will be a day where you won't be in love with me, or at least, you won't love me like you do now. And as far as dealing, just accept. Accept the fact that I'm gone, and accept the love that is being given to you."
I curled up against Marzia, my head on her chest, "But I'll still miss you. I just. . . It's so hard, Marzia."
She kissed my head, " I know, baby. I know. But remember, I'm in your heart. For now, and forever."
I smiled and kissed her, "I love you."
She smiled, "I love you too, Felix."
I closed my eyes and I heard her heart beat. This was perfect..
~~End of Dream~~
I opened my eyes, the sun hit my face, I was in the bed. I looked to my left, no one was there. I sat up and rubbed my face, It was all. . Just a dream? Figures. . . I sat in the bed, I put my face in my hands and cried. I can't help it anymore, I feel like. . . My whole life is just a dream. . . "Please." I begged, "Please.. If this is a dream, wake me up. . Please."