You're Dying to Please

Tears fell down my face as I wiped the black paint off my skin. I felt like shit to say the least. All I wanted right now was to be in Chris' arms, safe and sound. But I couldn't have that because I'm fucking stupid, pathetic even.
I wiped the tears off my face and walked out of our dressing room. I grabbed my guitar and its stand, taking them onto our bus. I ran into Devin on my way there.
"Ricky, are you alright?" he asked me.
I sniffed. 'I'm fine."
I started walking away but he grabbed my shoulder, turning me to face him again.
"Your eyes are a piercing green color, I don't know if that's safe," he said, sounding worried.
"I'll survive," I said as I walked on the bus, setting my things down. I walked back into the bunk area and I put comfortable clothes on. When I was done, I laid down on mine and Chris' bunk. I really hoped he was still sleeping in the same bunk as me at least, although I won't blame him if he didn't want to.
I turned over to face the wall. A couple minutes later I felt the bus moving, meaning we were heading out to the next venue. One more fucking week of this tour and we're done. I really couldn't wait.
My thoughts were interrupted when someone walked into the bunk area, being extremely noisy. I saw a light which meant the curtain to my bunk was being pulled back. I looked over and saw Devin who looked worried.
"Ricky?" he lightly said.
I groaned and faced the wall again. "What do you want?"
"We're all worried about you," he pouted. I turned over to face him. I felt him place his hand on my cheek.
"Even Chris," I mumbled.
He smiled weakly at me. "Even Chris. Come out here, hun."
That's what I loved most about Devin. He was so calm and caring. I took his hand and jumped out of my bunk. I walked with Devin into the kitchen and I saw the guys sitting at the table, without Balz who was driving. I looked at our tour manager Josh, he was lightly rubbing Chris' back. Chris had his head down on the table.
I asked Josh to move, he willingly did so. I sat down next to Chris and I rubbed small circles into his back with my thumb. I leaned over and kissed his head.
"Baby, I'm so sorry," I apologized. "I don't want to take a break. It was wrong of me to do that to you."
He looked up at me. His eyes were bloodshot red and his makeup was everywhere. I wiped his makeup off his face with my thumb.
"You can't do stuff like that to me, Rick," he said as he wrapped his arms around my frame. He cried into my shoulder.
I rubbed his back. "Baby, it won't happen again. I can promise you that."
"I need to tell you something," Chris sniffed as he looked up at me.
I got slightly worried. "What is it?"
He grabbed my wrist and slid out of the table. He walked into the bunk area, closing the door behind him. I looked at him with concern, he looked so upset. He sat down on the bed and took my hands in his.
He breathed out. "There's something I haven't told you about me, and I think it's time that you knew."
"W-what is it?" I stuttered.
Tears fell down from his face. He squeezed my hand and heavily exhaled. "I have separation anxiety disorder. I've had it for the longest time now, and I'm practically attached to you. That's why I never leave your side. I never want to. But I did something stupid when you told me you wanted a break."
I kissed his forehead and took him into my arms. I felt so bad for him. "What did you do baby? I won't be mad, I promise."
"I hurt myself," he started crying into my shoulder again.
It really made me feel upset. "Baby, do you remember when we met? How you told me you would be there for me, no matter what? Well I'm always here for you whenever you need me to be. Who said 'I may not have built this kingdom but I'll make fucking sure that I protect it from you'? You did. And now I'm going to protect you. Even if that means you attaching yourself to me," I took a breath for air. "I don't mind it. Do whatever you need to."
He looked up at me and smiled. "Thank you baby."
I pulled him into my lap and started murmuring sweet words to him.
"I love you so much," I said as I kissed his perfect lips.
He kissed me back. "I love you."
I rubbed his back and he cried into my shoulder for a couple more minutes. Poor thing. I've never seen him so broken, and I didn't like it at all.
"Where did you hurt yourself, baby?" I asked him.
He took his pants off and sat back down beside me, revealing newly formed cuts in every direction. I placed him so his back was against the wall. I bent down, kissing each one of his cuts.
When I kissed all of them, I moved my way up his stomach. I finally reached his lips, placing mine on his. I pulled away and wrapped my arms around his hips, pulling him into an embrace.
"Your eyes are back to its normal color," Chris said as he pulled away.
I smiled at him. "What color were they before, green?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "I texted Jake before the show, cause I noticed them before. He asked his father because he knows about that stuff. Green means upset." I noticed Chris put his head down.
I placed my hands on the sides of his face. "Chris, baby, don't worry about it. Let's just relax tonight."