Princess

I smiled at Assface as he pulled up next to some park I’d never been to before. I wasn’t sure why I’d agreed to hang out with him or why I’d trusted him to drive me somewhere. I’d stopped paying attention to where we were a while ago, instead I’d been watching him. Soaking in his every reaction.
It was like he was a different person to every other time I’d seen him, they’d been glimpses of this guy but they were small small glimpses. He looked over and flashed me a relaxed grin before turning off his ignition.
“It’s not the most amazing place in the world.” he said, climbing out of his car and stretching. “But I kinda like it.” he waited for me to join him at the front of the car and showed me that relaxed grin again.
I smiled sweetly at him, my mind was racing, screaming at itself. For all I knew this guy was a fucking murderer. His eyes didn’t leave me as I looked around, the place was dark and abandoned but it felt calm.
“I feel like I owe you an apology.” he said, my head snapped back towards him, ready to argue that, yes, he did owe me an apology. “Let me finish. I’ve been unreasonably mean to you, there’s a part of me that thinks that may not stop. But believe me when I say I want it to.” he paused and pulled a packet of cigarettes out of his packet and placed one against his lips. He passed the packet over to me and looked away from me.
“The last few weeks have been hard for me, fuck.” he took a deep drag out of his cigarette and sighed. “I’m trying so hard to stay clean but it’s hard. And you, you were always there, like some fucking fixation. I didn’t know what to do, I couldn’t talk to you like a normal human being. I felt like I was falling apart and you. You felt like such a huge part of my life, I just didn’t know how to react to you and yet you never even knew I existed.”
He threw his fag on the floor and looked back at me. I had no idea what to say to him, I carried on staring at him and took a long drag from the cigarette in my hand, I could feel the smoke burning through my lungs.
“Maybe, maybe you should take me home now.” I stuttered, dropping my fag and squishing it with my foot. His face looked crushed as I turned away, I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to act so I just walked away and sat in the passenger seat of his car.
He looked like he was going to cry for most of the journey but he didn’t, he didn’t speak either. It was awkward as I climbed out of his car and walked towards my own.
“Look, Ass, Gerard. You’ve given me a lot of information here, I, I need time. I’ll see you tomorrow, right? I’ll tell you what. I don’t have work in the morning, so how about I bring you your coffee to the art room.” he nodded without looking at me, his hands gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles had turned white. “Give me your number.” I said, leaning into his car and watching him.
He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and scribbled down something illegible on it before handing it to me.
“So I can read it.” I said as kindly as I could manage. He sighed and wrote his number down again. I nodded before running over to me own car. I sat down and pressed my head against the steering wheel.
Today just needed to be over.
But then tomorrow would be worse.