First Time for Everything.

As soon as I was out from the back and asked the receptionist for my ultrasound picture, Amanda was on my heels, asking me a bunch of questions. It sort of annoyed me, but I showed her the picture anyways.

"Oh my god!" She exclaimed, all but ripping the photo from my hand and looking at it.
"That's how Matthew looked when I first came in," She smiled at the picture, "a little blob of goo that turned into my little man."

I smiled but I knew it was fake. I didn't feel spectacular like how Amanda did. I felt really disappointed in myself. I was really hoping that the pregnancy tests were false positives, but they weren't. I was pregnant.

"I'm going to drop you off at school, and then go pick up your prescription. Make sure you tell this dude today and I'll help you tell mom and dad tonight, okay?" I nodded, letting Amanda know I heard her.

My heart sank to my stomach; I wasn't prepared to tell Ethan. I wasn't prepared to tell anybody.



I was signed into the office and realized I was in my third block of the day. Lunch would be next and I hoped I could get Ethan alone.

I sat through the last half of my math class, writing down notes and doing some of the homework in class. My teacher didn't seem to notice, which was fine by me. Most of my teachers didn't notice me and the only time they ever spoke to me was when I made a perfect grade on a quiz or test.

The lunch bell rang and everyone grabbed their bags and stuff and shuffled out. I wasn't hungry in the least but I had to remember I was eating for two. I grabbed my things and walked quickly to the lunchroom.



Once I was in there, I spotted Ethan with his group of friends. Ethan was the one who stuck out the most. He always wore a beanie, no matter how hot or cold it got, and his glasses made his eyes look bluer than they were. I mustered up what little bit of courage I had and walked over to him.

"Hi Ethan," I said, all but tripping over my own tongue. It seemed to have grown too much for my mouth.

"Uh hi? Do I know you?" He asked.

My palms began to sweat and I felt my heart rate pick up, "uh, yeah, you kind of do," I muttered, "can we speak alone, please?"

Ethan shrugged and got up; his friends were giving him questioning looks. Ethan shrugged once more and help up his hands as if to say "I don't know what this crazy bitch wants".

We walked a bit away from his friends, I sat down at an empty table and he sat across from me.

"Uh, do you remember that party you threw around the end of July?" I asked tentatively.

"Oh yeah! That was a smasher, were you there?"

"Yeah," I said, smiling.

"You look familiar, but I don't know your name. Why do you ask? Did we sleep together or some shit?"

A lump had formed in my throat, it was now or never.

"We did, and now I'm uh," I lost my voice at the last second.

Ethan's eyes widened and he pushed himself away from the table.
"You're a fucking liar," he spat, "I wouldn't sleep with anyone, especially not someone like you for fucks sake."

"We were drunk," I whispered, feeling tears well up in my eyes.

"Even if we were drunk, I still wouldn't fuck you!" he said, his voice rising. I covered my face with my hands. The tears were spilling over now.

"I'm not asking you for child support," I whispered behind my hands, "I just felt as if you should know." I uncovered my face and wiped away the tears that had spilled onto my cheeks. My face was red, and I felt as if the world had crashed on my shoulders. When I looked up, Ethan was gone.

One down, two to go, I thought to myself bitterly.



I made it through my last two classes, somehow. I don't know how I did. It all passed by in a blur and when it came for the day to end, I was dreading having to tell my parents.

I walked outside the double doors and saw Amanda's car waiting for me. I walked briskly to her car and opened the door, throwing my book bag in the back.

"So, how did it go?" She asked.

"Horrible," I replied, turning away so I wouldn't have to face her. She sighed and put her car in drive.

"Do you want to tell mom and dad tonight or tomorrow?"

"Can't I just abort the damn thing?"

"No, you can't. Because like you, I thought about aborting Matthew, but guess what? Our parents didn't let me, and they probably won't let you. Now answer the damn question,"

"I guess tonight," I mumbled under my breath.

"Okay." Was all Amanda said.



When we arrived home, I went up the stairs and into my bedroom. Shutting and locking the door. I hoped no one would ask questions. I could easily lie and say I was doing my homework, but I knew Amanda would bust down my door and drag me out of my room by my hair if she had to.

I had my nose in my math book; trying to complete the calculus problems I had been assigned. I sighed and got up, unlocking my door. Amanda stood there with Matthew in her arms.

"It's time Alex."

I muttered something about being sick but I knew Amanda wasn't going to let go. I sighed and walked down the stairs behind her. Mom and dad were sitting at the dining room table.

"Mom, Dad, Alex has some news to tell you."

"You've finally made something below a B?" Abigail piped up but Amanda gave her a look that stopped her dead in her tracks.

"What is it Alex?" Mom asked pushing the plate of mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese she had made for dinner.

"Well, I'm uh," I stopped, there was that damn lump again, I swallowed it, "I- I'm pregnant," I stuttered over my words, feeling my palms sweat and my heart beat race.

Mom looked at Dad and Dad looked at Amanda and I knew I had just signed my death certificate.