Come a Little Closer

The smell of frozen pizza being cooked in the oven swelled through my nostrils as my stomach growled in approval. I sat on the couch awaiting for the red head to return from her cooking adventures in the kitchen. I had offered to help cook the frozen pizza, but she blatantly refused and sent me into the lounge room to wait for her on her red, fluffy couch. I could hear cluttered banging coming from the depths of the kitchen, along with some frustrated grimaces from Hayley. I almost asked her if she needed help, but it occurred to me that would only aggravate her more so I continued to sit on the couch, focusing on my breathing.

I still wasn't exactly sure why Hayley had asked me to stay over, but my whole body sung out at the thought of spending the night with this captivating girl. I'm not quite sure what she had in plan for the night, but I did know it involved pizza and maybe movies. Typical of a sleepover, I didn't mind though. As long as I would be spending it with her.

I was also really for the night to come, as my panic attacks didn't stop just because I was away from home.I prayed that they wouldn't be worse than usual, and I prayed ever more for them to leave me alone just for one night. I was petrified that if Hayley knew how I spent each night shivering and sweating, debating whether or not to slit my own wrists she would run far away from me. The thought of her disappointed and disgusting face sent cold shivers through-out my body. This couldn't be a panic attack, could it? It was too early. I felt myself spiral down a hole, getting sucked into my fear.

I let my thoughts and trouble consume me until I was in a bullet proof bubble. I knew Hayley was looking at me, but I just couldn't break my mind set. I tried to swallow the tight lump in my throat, but it wouldn't budge. Panic continued to swirl around me and I tried my hardest to break out of the bubble I had put myself in. When I had just given up hope, a soft pair of hands found their place on mine. I looked down at them, shaking like a leaf. They were Hayley's hands. She grabbed onto them tighter, giving me comfort. I slowly lifted my head to meet her concerned gaze. I grimaced slightly at seeing her looking so sad. She must've noticed this look in my eyes, for the next thing I knew she reached her arms around me and pulled her into her warm embrace. I snaked me arms around her waist and pulled her closer to me. I pressed my face into her neck, soaking in her warmth, letting it consume me and wash away all thoughts of turmoil and fear. Hayley's grasp on me never faltered. She simply comforted me, rubbing the hair line on my neck and rocking back and forth slightly. I had never felt so close to anyone before, and to my surprise, the panic attack I had felt drawing on me and suddenly been swept away with the force of this one girls comfort.

It bewildered me as my brain ran clear of fearfulness, and dark images. I was left only with the sweet flowery scent of Hayley overcoming my mind. I had no idea how long we sat there in this simply embrace, but I knew I never wanted to part from her. Just the thought of her disappearing made my throat swell up in fear. I snuggled in closer to her, embracing her warmth. I shut my eyes and savoured the moment. I couldn't bare to ever let her out of my sights again.