Right Here in My Arms

I paced back and forth through my room, tapping my index finger on the screen of my phone. I was debating on whether or not I should call Ville and asking him if he wanted to hang out again like Ensio had suggested, but I couldn’t bring myself to call him. I hadn’t seen him in three days and I kind of did miss him but I really couldn’t bring myself to call him. I just couldn’t do it. I sighed and stopped pacing, rubbing the palm of my hand against my forehead in frustration. I looked down at my phone and chewed on my bottom lip, trying to bring myself to dial his number but deciding not to.

“You’re going to create a hole in the floor with how much you’re pacing, Rowan,” my father said, chuckling as he walked into the doorway of my bedroom

I quickly spun around at the sudden sound of his voice and looked at him. I chuckled along with him and rubbed the back of my neck with my fingertips, “Yeah? Well, maybe that’s my intention.”

“Are you alright?” he asked.

I shrugged, “I just got a lot on my mind, I guess.” He probably knew that. If anyone knew me it was my dad. He knew when I was nervous by all the little things I did, whether it was play with my hair, pace, pop my finger knuckles, or even – sometimes – shake pretty badly. It was my little nervous habits and they sure did make it obvious when I was nervous, unfortunately.

He nodded and leaned his shoulder against my doorway, “Understandable. Well, hopefully it doesn’t eat at you for too long. I know how you get when something bothers you for too long.”

“I sure hope not,” I replied with a sigh.

“Well, I’m heading to bed, so I’ll see you in the morning,” he smiled at me and straightened up.

I nodded and smiled back, “Alright, well, I’ll see you in morning. Do you want me to go to work with you?”

He shook his head, “No, tomorrow is going to be pretty simple so I’ll be okay. No worries.”

“Ah, okay. Maybe I’ll get a chance to sleep in tomorrow,” I mentioned, laughing.

He chuckled and nodded, “Yeah, hopefully you can. Goodnight, sweetheart.” He walked away from my room and into his, closing the door behind him.

I sighed after he closed his door and walked over to mine, doing the same. I walked over to my bed and sat down, looking down at my phone again. I took a deep breath a dialed in Ville’s number, mouthing each number so I got it right. I pressed the call button and pressed the phone to my ear, taking a deep breath and closing my eyes. I panicked as I heard it start ringing and quickly ended the call and threw the phone across my bed so I landed on a pillow. I pursed my lips and stared at it for a moment.

I didn’t know why I was freaking out so bad. I didn’t understand how I couldn’t just call him and ask if he wanted to hang out with me again. I did it all the time back home with a bunch of my other guy friends so I didn’t know why it was any different with Ville. Maybe it was because he was in a band or maybe it was because he was just new to me.

I sighed and grabbed the phone from the end of my bed. I placed my finger of the first number of Ville’s phone number and froze as the phone all of a sudden began to ring. I looked at the caller ID and my breath caught in my throat. I let my jaw drop for a few seconds before I swallowed the lump in my throat and pressed answer. “Hello?” I answered, chuckling awkwardly.

“Hey, Rowan,” Ville’s deep voice came through.

I pursed my lips for a second before taking a deep breath, “Hey, Ville. What’s going on?”

“I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out with me again?”

I froze and held my breath for a second. What are the odd that Ville, the human being I had the intention of calling only seconds ago, decided to call me and ask the same exact questions? Did the phone ring for longer than I thought and decided to call me back, or was he really thinking about the same thing?

“Rowan?”

I shook my head and mentally slapped myself, “Yeah that sounds like it would be cool. When would you like to meet up?”

He was quiet for a moment before he replied, “Tomorrow?”

I laughed and looked down at my comforter thinking for a moment. “Tomorrow? Aren’t you ever busy?” I teased.

He laughed, “Never busy enough for you.”

I giggled and shrugged, “Whatever. Yeah, let’s do tomorrow.” There go my plans of sleeping in to the time I wanted.

“Alright, but how about a little after 12, though? I’ve got something to do around that time,” he mentioned.

“Ooh, so he is busy,” I mentioned, “Yeah, it sounds good.” Okay, so, maybe my plans for sleeping in weren’t totally ruined?

I heard him smile, “Fantastic. I’ll pick you up around, let’s say, twelve forty-five?”

“You mean you’ll have a cab come pick me up,” I teased.

He scoffed, “I’ll be in the cab, for your information!”

I giggled and shook my head, “I was only kidding, Ville.”

“You tease,” he simply said.

“Yes I am,” I replied, grinning, “But anyway.”

“Yeah, um... When I pick you up, we can decide then where we want to eat and all that,” he replied.

I smiled, “Of course.” I felt butterflies in my stomach and bit down on my bottom lip for a second.

“Great!”

I felt like there wasn’t anything left to say, so I decided that I wouldn’t let things get awkward. “Well, I suppose that I should get to bed now. I’m kind of tired now so I’ll see you tomorrow, Ville,” I told him.

“Yes, of course. See you tomorrow,” he replied, “Goodnight, Rowan. Sleep well.”

I said goodbye and then hung up the phone and set it on my night stand. I looked down at my hands and noticed how bad they were shaking. I hardly ever shook unless I was extremely nervous about something and that was actually pretty rare. I did, however, hate talking on the phone but I’d soon have to get over that considering Ill have to be calling a lot of people now. I shrugged and shook my head, decided to actually get to sleep before it got too late. I didn’t want to oversleep and miss the late lunch with Ville. I changed into my PJ’s and climbed into bed, drifting off to sleep.

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Unfortunately, I didn’t sleep in at all. I was awoken at about nine thirty in the morning by Ensio as he called to demand that we have out today, so I got up and got ready to hang out with him for a few hours. He picked me up within ten minutes of the call and we headed off. We had breakfast at a cute little restaurant, in which I do not remember the name of, and was there for a little while before he suggested we walk around the town a little bit.

“You’re mean,” I pouted as Ensio teased me while we walked down the sidewalk in town.

“What’re friends for?” he mentioned, playfully shoving me with a huge grin growing on his face.

“Apparently they’re meant to be nice to their little American friends,” I rolled my eyes and shoved him back, “And you so rudely woke me up this morning. I was planning on sleeping in late, you meanie.”

He laughed and shook his head, elbowing me in the ribs, “Oh, be quiet. You live in Helsinki now; I can tease you all I want to. And you’re going to have to get used to me calling you all the time because I’ll probably continue to do that.”

To be completely honest, I didn’t mind that he woke me up. It was cool and I was glad. I did want to have some plans and I also wanted someone to potentially help with my nervousness with the lunch with Ville later. Even thought I was nervous and was doing a few of my little habits, thank god they weren’t so obvious right now.

I laughed and shrugged, “Fine, be that way.” I liked this friendship that Ensio and I had already developed within the past... What, week now? It was a cute little friendship that we had and I rather adored it. He was technically my first – and practically only - friend in Finland and I’m glad that he was. We joked around all the time and just had fun picking on each other and calling each other names. He was a really cool guy and I’m really glad that I went to that recording studio.

I walked next to him for a while, shoving my hands into my pockets and chewing on my bottom lip for a little while. I looked over at him and then back in front of me, “I’m seeing that guy later today.”

He quickly looked over at me and grinned, “Oh yeah? What are you guys going to be doing?”

I shrugged, “Just a lunch I suppose. We hadn’t exactly planned on doing anything else afterwards.”

“Oh,” he looked down at his watch on his wrist, “Do I need to get you back now?”

“What time is it now?” I questioned, hoping that it wasn’t too late in the day. I would hate to leave Ensio like that and make him drive me home so quickly. I’d feel terrible about it.

He mumbled something before looking at me, “Eleven thirteen.”

“Hm-mnh,” I shook my head at him and shrugged, “He told me he was going to pick me up at like... Twelve forty or something. He said he had something to do before he would pick me up so I think we’re going for a little while.”

He nodded and look ahead of him, “Alright, well that’s good. I’m not done with you yet, anyway.”

I raised a brow at him and chewed on my bottom lip for a second, “Oh? And what do you mean by that?

“I’m having fun,” he mumbled, chuckling, “What did you think I meant?”

I laughed and shook my head, “I didn’t know what I thought you meant but I’m also having fun..”

He smiled over at me before groaning, “You know, maybe I want to have lunch with you, Rowan”

I rolled my eyes at him and playfully shoved him, “Alright, well, then we’ll have lunch other time.” I thought for a second before slapping my hand on his arm, “Besides, we just had breakfast together and you took me out for coffee the other day so I don’t think you get to take me to lunch today.”

“But that wasn’t today,” he whined and pouted at me.

“Part of it was, yes,” I giggled and stuck my tongue out at him.

He sighed, “Fine! We’ll make a plan for lunch.”

I nodded at him and laughed again, “Yes, of course.”

He shrugged his shoulders and looked down to the ground. He didn’t say anything, out loud, for a little while. He said a lot of things quietly and I figured that he wasn’t exactly talking to me or anything, so I decided not to say anything about it.

“Ensio?”

Both Ensio and I both looked over.

“Hey dude! What’s going on man?” Ensio grinned and stopped walking to greet his - I assumed - friend.

“Not much, really,” his friend replied quietly, “What about you?”

I chewed on my bottom lip and stood, hidden, behind Ensio. I tried to see around Ensio, but his rather large build kept me from seeing this stranger he was talking to. It wasn’t any of my business, but I was definitely curious who he was talking to. I figured that it was one of his band mates considering Ensio told me earlier today that he hasn’t seen any of the guys in the band in a little while since he hadn’t been in recording. The guy’s voice sounded familiar, so I was pretty certain that’s what it was.

“I’m just out walking with a friend for a little while. I haven’t seen you in a longer time, dude,” Ensio mentioned, shaking his friend’s hand. He turned back to me and smiled, “Rowan! This is my friend-”

“Ville,” I interrupted.