Why Do You Think

The worry for my brother kept increasing, his condition kept getting worse. He had just given up, you could see it in his eyes; he was tired of life. He didn't want to continue fighting, there was nothing to fight for. The light in his eyes has burned out, the spark he once had was almost completely gone; He has lost all of the joy he once possessed.

It was obvious that no one in this institution was helping him, or could help him. There was nothing I could do; so many have tried, but failed. There was a point where he gave it his all to get out of the mess he himself had let invade his life, to which he had even contributed on creating, but I don't know what happened. One day he just completely gave up. No one could convince him to see the point in life, he believed he had nothing to live for, that there was no more point in trying.

Everyone around him seemed to slowly loose hope, but I still believed in him. He is strong, I know he is. One day he will get better; someone will get through to him, and give him a purpose to keep living, I am sure of it.

"So, as you may have noticed, we have someone new joining us" The psychiatrist started, motioning at the stressed out looking new guy. He looked unusually fragile, he looked just as messed up as the rest of us.
"We are going around the circle introducing ourselves, you can state your disorder if you want, but you don't have to" He sat back down again, indicating for Gerard to start.

"Hello, my name is Gerard, and I'm an alcoholic" A few of us in the room let out a faint laugh; he was an alcoholic, yes, but that wasn't the only thing. The thing that made it funny was his dramatic acting, it lifted the mood a little.

"Frank, I'm a psycho. HA HA HA" Just like always, he was trying to annoy or freak someone out, in this case, the new guy. It seemed to have worked, because he looked even more uncomfortable now with Frank staring at him wide eyed, emphasizing on the fact that he really was a psychopath.

"I'm Mike, and this is Vic"

"I'm Austin"

"And I'm Alan"

"Tony"

"I'm Jaime, I have ADHD, it's quite obvious actually. I think it's obvious, do you think it's obvious? Of course it's obvious, have you seen me?" He broke in to laughter, but Tony stopped him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Jaime's foot never stopped tapping, he was rocking back and forth like a child, waiting for a sweet that he had been promised hours ago. Or like he was on a constant sugar rush that was set in a loop.

"Um, hi, I'm Kellin"

"Oli"

The whole session Vic had looked on the floor, his mouth slightly agape. He was in a daze, as always his eyes seemed clouded. He was completely out of it, not paying any attention. At the end of it I took him back to our room, and slowly set him down on the bed. He was like an invalid, completely incapable of doing anything himself. He would do the basic things of going to the toilet, washing, getting dressed, but anything apart from that would have to almost be forced.

Some days I felt tired of taking care of him, he is my older brother, he should be the one doing that, but most of the time I feel responsible for him. When my parents had thrown me in here with him, I just didn't feel that they really cared about me; my condition wasn't that bad to be in here, but maybe they did it for Vic? Maybe they saw, that if he was left completely alone there truly would be nothing to be done?

But he is in a mental institution, he isn't alone. There are people looking after him, and me.
Each night I would talk to Vic, making things up, sometimes I don't even know what I am saying, but it doesn't matter. I know that he isn't listening, but I believe that if he hears my voice he will feel less alone, that someone is still there for him.

I really wish I could know what he is thinking, I wish that he would talk to me more often. I sometimes almost feel sorry for making him speak; his voice would always be so weak from the lack of use, but speaking would mean he was taking a step towards getting better, right?

I had to drag him out today; too many days he has spent in this room, and I just couldn't watch him almost melt in to his bed any more, he was slowly rotting away, sitting in the same position every day, he had to move more.
It was about ten minutes later that I decided that we would go to the TV room, where people normally hung out at. We wouldn't do much, but at least it will be a change of scenery for both me and him, plus I might befriend the new guy. Who knows, maybe he will be the one to help Vic.

"All right, let's go" I went over to him, already pulling him out of bed. Forcefully, but at the same time gently.

"Why?" He groaned quietly, weakly struggling away from my grasp.

"I'm not going to let you die in this pathetic room, ok? I'm tired of seeing you in the same position every fucking day. You need to move a little more"

"But you know I cant"

"You have no choice, so you better make it so that you can"

I pulled him to his feet, dragging him out of our plain, boring room.
In the TV room, Frank and Gerard could be seen watching the TV. Jaime was talking to himself, and inanimate objects, occasionally jumping and trying to get someone's attention; Tony was not there, guess he was trying to get a break.
Austin and Alan were also watching the TV, sitting closely next to each other, as if their bodies were morphed, and Oli and Kellin were sitting on the chairs, the ones that were by the side of the room.

This room looked more like it had been lived in, because it is the most used. A brown carpet is covering the tiled floor, and the chipped paint on the walls has some fingerprints, or other patches of dirt on it. Some dents can be found as well, and some of the furniture has been cut into, or made other visible damage.

There was one main couch, that was once a creamy white colour, was now tattered and grey. It was set in front of the TV, which was in the middle of the room. There was a small, wooden coffee table in front of it; coffee stains littered it's dark brown, wooden surface.
There were a few chairs scattered around the room, and there were two main windows that had white curtains covering them.

"See, this isn't that bad" I told Vic as I seated him on one of the chairs. He only gave me a disapproving glance before zoning out again. I sighed in defeat, but at least we were in a different place, and I didn't have to suffer completely alone.