Empty Mind

"Taemin."

"What?"

"Tae-min."

"What kind of name is that? Like, Asian or something?"

"He just transferred to this school. That's him, sitting over there."

Following the trail created by your friend's pointed index finger, your eyes curiously traveled across the cafeteria to finally rest upon a plainly dressed, dark-haired boy who sat by himself. Earphones dangled from their positions around his neck, fingers nervously drumming against the bleached tabletops with sporadic vigor. His large, black eyes darted around fearfully, scanning the faces of the beefy upperclassmen who walked by to sit at the crowded tables surrounding him.

"He looks really scared," you mumbled, feeling sympathetic toward the small, lone figure who desperately looked like he didn't want to be there. Your eyes met the trembling, insecure gaze of the new student, who issued a silent plea for help in the split second you had exchanged glances. "Let's go sit with him," you said automatically.

"Uh, okay." Your friends shrugged. You had never been a complete socialite, so it was strange that you'd decided to have company with someone you didn't even know. Nonetheless, you felt terrible and sympathetic toward the lonely student and walked over.

Approaching the almost empty table you smiled and tried to look approachable, though Taemin didn't attempt to smile back or make any further eye contact. Hastily, he shoved his binders off of the lunch table upon seeing you are your two friends pull chairs over to his table. Despite saying hello to him, he didn't respond. Eventually, your two best friends resumed their daily conversation of wholesome school gossip, while you sat quietly and listened. Yet you couldn't help but feel curious about Taemin, and snuck glances at him from the corner of your eyes.

******

Gradually you began to find out more about the new student as time went on. For one, you noticed the fact he disappeared into the orchestra room every day after school. You also learned that he had moved from Korea, which was why he rarely spoke due to his heavy accent. Occasionally, you could hear your more obnoxious classmates make fun of his voice or impersonate him cruelly when they were sure he wasn't listening. You on the other hand, thought his stuttering, choppy accent was sort of cute.

Your curiosity eventually got the better of you when you snuck inside the orchestra room after school to see what Taemin did in there all the time anyway. You'd expected him to be doing homework or making out with some random girl by the instrument lockers. Instead, you were met with Super Junior's 'U' being thunderously blasted into your ears as soon as you opened the door.

Surprised, you glanced around the room, shocked at the large, beaten up stereo system and amplifier that had been dragged into the corner. Perhaps more surprising was the introverted, mumbling student that you observed in class performing every single move to the song with completely timed perfection.

You admired him in awe, watching the way his body seemed to be one with the beat. The way the sound of his shoes clapping against the ground matched the rhythm perfectly. The way he counted silently to himself silently by nodding his head up and down. Taemin hadn't yet noticed you watching him until the song ended, whereupon you clapped for him excitedly.

"Whoa Taemin, that was really cool! I didn't know you could dance like that!"

The boy froze, stopping midway from drinking out of his half-empty water bottle. You immediately regretted what you had said, noticing the extremely embarrassed look on his face. You felt like an unwanted intruder.

"That was Super Junior, right? You're really good," you added quickly, reassuring him that you weren't mocking him like the other half of school was. His eyes softened a bit and he resumed drinking his water. You were relieved that he seemed more relaxed and continued talking to ease the awkwardness. "When I sat with you at lunch I was going to ask if you liked K-pop, but I didn't want you to think I was racist or anything," you joked, smiling a bit when you were rewarded with an exhausted, but genuinely happy laugh.

"You should teach me to dance like that sometime."

"Ah... S-Sure."

******

After talking to Taemin more frequently (usually about K-pop, idol groups, and the like) you learned even more about the introverted boy. In class, you tried to partner up with him for group projects so that he wouldn't be outcasted by the other students. At lunch you sat with him whenever you could and he was grateful for not having to sit by himself.

Eventually you decided to show him the empty field in your neighborhood, believing it would be a great place for the two of you to test your science fair project.

The place was completely deserted, which creeped you out a little. The field was in terribly poor condition, the grass being stringy and withered. There were a few hills here and there, as well as numerous holes in the ground that were notorious for spraining ankles and causing painful crashes to the Earth. That was part of the reason why no one ever visited the field in the first place.

"Well it's not much, but at least this way we won't break anything if we mess up, right?" You turned to Taemin, who nodded in silent agreement like he usually did.

It had only been three months since you had met him and yet you felt as if you could trust him with anything. That was the kind of person he was. You snuck a glance at him, feeling self-conscious. Fortunately, he wasn't paying attention, his gaze trained on the red-orange sunset that painted the horizon. The light bathed his face and made it glow, the sight causing your face to burn with fourteen-year-old admiration.

Clearing your throat to distract yourself from staring at Taemin's face, you also jolted him out of whatever reverie he was in and he turned to face you. You realized how lucky you were to be his only friend because as selfish as it sounded, you only wanted him for yourself.

"U-Uh, why don't you teach me that Super Junior dance? It looked really cool," you said quickly, praying he didn't notice the slight shade of red on your cheeks.

The corner of his lips tugged upward into a slight smile. "Ah, okay. You want to learn 'U'?" His feet shuffled the dirt around in anticipation. How cute.

"Uh-huh," you nodded, though you were more eager to watch him dance than anything else.

"First, you stand... Like this," he positioned his body into a leaning position, though you weren't really paying attention, your eyes still glued onto that adorable smile. "And then you move... Like this."

"Heh, Taemin, I don't think I know how to do that," you laughed, watching the smooth waves he made with his body which would put the school's dance team to shame. Awkwardly, you attempted the move yourself, ending up with a strange action that was half pelvic thrust, half stumble.

Taemin laughed softly, making your heart skip a couple of beats. To tell the truth, you were terribly embarrassed, but invoking such a perfect laugh was well worth it. He walked over, positioning himself directly behind you, causing you to tremble from the closeness of your bodies. His fingers wrapped around your sides until his hands were molded against your hips. "It's easy," he explained gently, pushing your hips forward softly with his hands, "Move your waist first... and then your chest."

Practically on the verge of fainting, you steadied yourself on shaking legs. You could feel his warm breath against the side of your neck, his arms brush against your elbows as he moved, his chest occasionally molding to the curve of your back as he breathed. For a fourteen year old, your mind was suddenly occupied by some pretty adult things.

Suddenly, your moment of pleasant reverie was shattered as the hands slipped quickly from your hips followed by a soft thud. In surprise, you turned around to see Taemin lying on his back behind you. You laughed loudly as you noticed the field hole that had caught his foot and caused him to trip. His face was bright red, mirroring the same color that you blushed.

"S-S-Sorry," he stammered, obviously flustered, "I fell."

Still giggling and relieved at the sudden break in the tension, you gave up on the dance lesson that had never really started in the first place, and fell onto the dried grass next to him. Copying his position, you rolled over onto your back and glanced over at him, grinning cheerfully.

*******

"So... Why do you dance so much anyway?" you asked, after five minutes of staring up at the sky in pleasurable silence. Taemin seemed to dance a lot, as you noticed, at least two hours every day.

"Mm..." Was his response; an indecisive, embarrassed mumble. It was almost as if he was too afraid to say something.

"Come on, there has to be a reason why you stay afterschool everyday to dance, right? Are you trying to impress a girl or something?" you smirked at him wolfishly, hoping to squeeze out some sort of love confession that you could tease him about for weeks.

"Eh?! N-No, it's just..." Taemin paused suddenly, stopping his sentence in the midst of speaking. "Just don't tell anybody but I..."

"Hm?"

"I want to be a K-pop Idol when I grow up," he mumbled, shifting his gaze over to you quickly with a sort of panicked and nervous expression. You just wanted to laugh in surprise, not by his career choice, but by the fact he was so humiliated by it. "I know it's impossible," he added quietly, "but I still want to try."

"Don't be so hard on yourself! That's really cool though, you should be proud of trying something so ambitious y'know."

"But... if I do become a trainee, I won't be able to see my family that often anymore... And I'll have to move back to Korea," he added, hinting toward what you had expected. That if his dream really did come true, you would have to sacrifice your own happiness by not seeing him anymore.

"You won't be allowed to have a girlfriend either. You sure you're okay with being all lonely and single forever?" you teased, kicking his leg playfully with your own, almost as a way of masking your fear of never seeing him again. "I mean, you're going to live out your teenage years without ever kissing your girlfriend."

"Unless I do it now," Taemin said suddenly, rolling over on top of you from the grass, his body hovering over yours completely. The world suddenly seemed like it was spinning so quickly you became dizzy. So unexpected was this change of events that your heart sped up painfully and your breaths became harder to take in. You were so preoccupied with your turmoil of emotions, you hadn't even noticed the boy leaning forward until his warm lips pressed against yours.

Your eyes widened in complete shock, your face turning warm at the feeling of his soft skin and comforting closeness.

At that moment, it felt like the world had stopped moving just as quickly as it had started. Everything had frozen. Your brain rapidly emptied every thought from your mind, so that you had nothing to think about except that single, amazing kiss.

He rolled off of you, albeit a bit clumsily. You could hear him panting, probably from nervousness or relief, or both.

"You know I've always had a crush on you," you admitted softly, feeling your heart accelerating greatly once more, your arms shaking. You collapsed back onto the grass, too weak and high on emotion to support yourself.

"W-What?!" he exclaimed suddenly, in a voice that seemed more scared and surprised. "What does that mean?" he stuttered in panic.

"What do you think it means?" you giggled, remembering that he hadn't yet completely grasped the English language.

"You... Want to crush me?"

"No, silly, it means that I like you. Now kiss me again."

"Okay."

And you both laughed.