Don't Go

"Did Jordan tell yeh where ta meet him?" Oli bumped shoulder's with his little brother.

Tom shook his head. "No. I told him to meet us at tha top of tha' one buildin'. The one we did tha' photo shoot on. "

"Tha apartment buildin'? Tha one tha' had tha' party a long time ago? Why there?" Oli looked at him, completely confused.

Tom snuck a glance at Victoria. "I wanted to take some photos. We could drink, too. Yeh know, lessen tha tension between everyone. Maybe get Vicky ta model for yeh."

Oli's eyes lit up like he knew it would. Oli bounded off to the guys and left Tom to his thoughts. He wished he wasn't left to his thoughts. They all lead to Victoria. He didn't mean for it to. But, her blue eyes would catch his attention. And her dark hair. He wanted to know if it was as soft as it looked… Then, he started to kick himself mentally. He tried to get her off his mind, it didn't work. It was driving him crazy.

"Do yeh drink, Vicky?" He heard Oli ask.

Victoria laughed. "Um, not really…"

Tom saw Oli mess with her hair. "Well, yeh are tonigh'."

She patted down her hair and shoved Oli away. The little action made Oli laugh and talk about how strong she is for a girl. The men laughed as she swatted Oli's arm. He yelped and stuck his tongue out. Vicky laughed and stopped in front of the liquor store with the men.

Oli dug in his back pocket, taking out his wallet. "Wha' do we want? I know I want some beer. What about yeh all?"

"Some vodka," Lee said. "Whiskey, too."

Matty pulled out a pack of cigarettes, placing one between his lips. Victoria snatched the cancer stick from his lips and the lighter from his fingers. She lit the thing and took a long drag. Matty took his lighter back and lit his own. Tom watched as Victoria smoked. It didn't seem to fit her at all. The way the inhaled the nicotine; the way she breathed it out, smoke escaping her nose. It was obvious she's done it before. She didn’t cough; it didn’t look like it burned the back of her throat.

Oli left the liquor store with Matt behind him, hands filled with bags. They beamed and started off for the car. Matt and the others left Tom and Oli. Tom watched them leave to Matty's car.

"Quit lookin' at Vicky's ass and help me wiff tha trunk," Oli said as he fumbled to get the keys out of his pocket.

Tom's cheeks burned red. "Fuck off, yeh twat. I wasn't starin'."

Oli snorted as he popped the trunk open. "Really? Were yeh look at Matt's? Or Matty's? Oh, even better, were yeh lookin' at Lee's?"

The younger Sykes brother rolled his eyes. "Shut it."

He helped Oli with the bags. Oli shut the trunk and looked at Tom.

"Yeh fancy her," Oli teased.

"I don't," Tom got into the car, slamming the door.

He could hear Oli laugh at him. Oli stepped into the car and looked at his brother. Tom knew what he was thinking. How Tom was lying to himself. How he should get over Melissa. How Vicky would be "good" for him. Whatever the hell that meant.

"We should hurry," Tom stared straight ahead. "Before they think we left them with half the alcohol."

Oli started the car, swiftly dodging through traffic. It took 40 minutes to get to the apartment complex, and the whole way there Tom messed with the radio. He ended up plugging his phone in and playing dubstep.

"Yeh stupid, Tom," Oli said as he parked. "Melissa -"

"Is not in my head anymore," Tom stopped his brother. "Look, Melissa is my past. We broke it off a while ago. I don't want ta fink about this."

"Then, let's get fucked up," Oli rolled his eyes.

He saw Matty's car and figured they'd already gone up. Tom went to the trunk and grabbed a bag. Oli grabbed the case of beer. Night was falling upon Sheffield. Tom looked at the darkening sky before he entered the building. No one was in the lobby, though a door was a little open. Oli went to the elevator and waiting for the ding. Tom stood in front of the elevator with his brother.

"Don't make a fool of yehself," Oli said as he got into the elevator.

Tom followed him in and said nothing. There was nothing to say. Nothing at all. He didn't want to be mean to Victoria. Tom didn't even know why he was mean. He didn't want to admit it, but he was afraid. He was afraid of what could happen. He didn't want to take a chance. Not while he was still hurting, even if he denied it.

The sliding doors opened and the brothers stepped out. They made a right, took a short flight of stairs and opened the door to the roof. Tom noticed Matt's old shoe keeping the door open. He made sure the shoe was still between the door so they weren't looked out. He turned around to see Matty show Victoria what it looked like over the edge. Matty's hands were placed firmly on her waist, making Tom's stomach churn. He saw Lee talking with Jordan and Oli talking to Matt. Tom felt alone.

"They're so tiny," Victoria laughed.

The wind blew her dress in all directions. She moved away from the edge and towards the blankets. Tom watched as she laid the blanket out and sat on it, legs tucked under her. Matty soon followed, grabbing two beers.

"We're gonna get fucked up," Matty said, passing a can to Victoria. "Don't worry yeh pretty head. I won't drive til we sober up. I want ta see yeh hammered."

Victoria stared at the can in her lap. "Um, I don't…"

"Yeh open it like a soda can, Vicky."

Her cheeks were bright red. "I know how to open it, you asshat. I just… I don't know how I feel about this."

"Live a little," Tom said as he walked over.

She looked up at him, seeming a little nervous. He sat with the two, far from Victoria. Tom pulled out the bottles of whiskey. Under the colorful sky, Victoria looked beautiful. The reds, oranges, pinks and purples brought out her light blue eyes. She still looked uncertain when she opened the can.

"I can’t do it with you two knobs watching me," she yelled.

Matty laughed. "Ha! Sheffield is rubbin' off on yeh."

She brought the can to her lips, taking a swig. Victoria made a face, making Tom and Matty laugh. She shook her head and stuck her tongue out. The others gathered around, taking a blanket and setting it on the ground.

"Guess wha', Oli," Matty sipped on his beer. "Vicky agreed ta model for yeh. But she doesn't want ta leave her mother. So, she said whenever you really need her."

"Yeh mum won't be alone," Oli said. "My mum's there. And, wha' about yeh dad?"

Tom watched as Victoria casted her eyes downward. She didn't answer for a moment, playing with the fray of the blanket. When she answered, she sounded on the verge of tears.

"Uh, he died a year ago," she picked at her fingernails.

"I'm sorry," Oli rubbed the back of his neck. "I didn't mean ta sound like tha' way. I didn't know."

She shrugged. "It's alright."

Everyone was silent for some time. Matty was rubbing Victoria's knee as they finished their drinks. Matty grabbed the empty bag and threw his can in there before reaching for the whiskey. Oli and Matt had already opened the vodka, passing it between the two. Lee and Jordan were sharing a bottle of whiskey. And, Tom sat there watching his friends drink away. He kept a close eye on Victoria, though. He was afraid she was going to hurt herself.

"Vicky," Jordan stood up, nearly tipping over. "Come help set tha lights and shit."

She looked at him like he was crazy. "Why? I don't know what to do."

"Jordan, yeh drunk," Tom stood up. "I'll help yeh, Vicky. I'll teach yeh wha' ta do."



The lights were up and bright. Tom squinted when he looked at the lights for too long. He turned around and saw Victoria taking a swig of vodka, beer can in hand. She was looking at the sky. Tom smiled. He knew she'd like it. He told her, he was going to take her closer to the stars. He took a step to her, but Matty intercepted her, dragging her new the edge. Tom watched as Matty pointed out the stars.

"Yeh shouldn't stare so much," Lee laughed.

Tom turned his gaze to Lee. Lee just shrugged and staggered off. Tom sighed and turned his back to Matty and Victoria. There was nothing between them. Tom and Victoria were nothing. Matty wanted Victoria, that much was obvious. A hand dropped onto Tom's shoulder, making him jump.

"Ah, sorry," Victoria's voice filled his ears. "I know you don't like me… But, thank you."

She had no idea how wrong she was. Tom liked her enough. He hated that she thought otherwise. He turned to face her. Victoria's blue eyes stared into his own. She gave Tom a smile.

"Wha' are yeh thankin' me for?" He moved his eyes to his camera.

She shrugged. "You told me you'd take me to see the stars, up close. Thank you."

He smiled. "How are yeh feelin'?"

"Bubbly," she laughed, rubbing her stomach.

That reminded Tom she had been drinking. It brought him back to reality. She was drunk and he was sober. Victoria looked up at him with big curious eyes.

"Wha' made yeh move from America?" Tom asked.

She sighed. "Problems… lots of problems."

"Tell me about it."

Victoria looked around and walked toward the door. Once she reached it, she turned to look at Tom. She raised a brow. Tom removed his camera, handing it to Oli. Oli stared after him as he walked through the door with Victoria. Victoria was already down the stairs, sitting on the ground. Tom stepped over her and sat next to her. She leaned her head on his shoulder. Tom could hear his heartbeat in his ears. He could feel it pulse through his body. He prayed Victoria wouldn't hear it also.

"I hate my past," she whispered. "So many problems."

Tom pulled her closer, throwing an arm over her shoulders. "I'm sorry, love. Yeh don't need ta talk about it if yeh don't want."

"They say it gets better to talk about those things. Yet, I still feel like shit. My dad died a year ago. I fell into a dark hole. My friends left me once they realized I wasn't the same. I was alone… not really. I had my mom. But, I was still alone. And… and, then," she took in a deep breath. "And, then, a few months ago, I was walking home from work. I didn't live too far from work, fifteen minutes at most. I was… I was raped and beat. I wanted to die, Tom. There are days when I still want to."

Tom held her body as she cried. She didn't cry loud, she didn't lash out. She just shook, silent tears escaping her eyes. He kissed the side of her head, wishing he could take the pain from her. No one deserved any of that. They stayed like that for ten minutes. Her body soon stopped shaking. Her breath was warm against Tom's neck. He took note that she still smelled like lavender and vanilla. Tom ran his fingers through Victoria's hair. His lips curved into a smile; her hair was as soft as he had imagined. His smile turned into a frown again.

"Don't blame yehself, Vicky," Tom heard himself say. "It wasn't yeh fault. God, this makes me sick. I'm sorry yeh had to go through that. I'm so sorry."

He kissed the side of her head again, once he felt warm tears on his shirt. Now, he knew why she was so uncomfortable around the guys. Tom didn't know how he felt anymore. He felt so bad for her. And, he made her relive it today, by asking her to tell him. Victoria pulled away from him, wiping her tears away. She sniffled and rubbed her nose. She sighed deeply, her breath smelling like alcohol. Her cheeks her blotchy and her eyes puffy. Victoria stood up, the skirts of her dress ruffled. She held out a hand to help him up. He took it without thinking. She tried heaving him up, but because she was still a little drunk, she ended up accidently letting go of Tom's hand, falling on the ground.

A laugh escaped Victoria's lips. "Oh, jeez. I'm never drinking again."

Tom laughed as he stood up. "Do yeh need help?"

She shook her head. "Nope. I think I'll stay down here for a while."

He smiled and stuck out his hand anyway. She took it and grabbed onto his arm to steady herself. They made their way back to the roof. The wind picked up Victoria's hair and brought it everywhere. He heard her huff. She left to go to Matty, who was laying on the ground. Tom walked over as she kicked him, lightly.

"Wha'?" Matty turned on his back. "Yeh so tall, Vicky. When'd you get so big?"

Tom noticed the empty bottle of whiskey. He laughed as he watched Matty try to sit up. Victoria shook her head.

"You're stupid, Matty," she said, seriously. "I'm still tiny as ever."

Matty laughed. "Yeah, yeh are.Where'd yeh go? We couldn't find yeh or Tom anywhere. We thought yeh guys fell or somefing."

"Can't get rid of me that easily."

Matty shook his head and mumbled something before falling over. Tom saw Oli taking photos of Lee and Matt messing around. The two pushed each other around, Lee jumping on Matt's back. Jordan stood back, laughing at them.

"Wanna get closer ta tha stars, love?" Tom asked, clasping Victoria's hand in his.

She bit her lip and nodded. "Yeah, I want to be closer."

She wrapped her arms around his own, hand still clutched in his. Tom cleared his throat, hoping the others wouldn't see them. He brought her to the opposite side of the roof, to the small water tower. He made Victoria climb the latter fist, in case she fell. Tom followed right after. They weren't that much higher, just about ten feet. But, the look on Victoria's face made his heart soar. Her blue eyes held wonder, though, they were still hazy. She smiled up at him.

"Thanks again," She laced her fingers with his.

Victoria's eyes flickered to Tom's lips and back to his eyes. She sighed and pulled away. Tom reached for her hand and pulled her back. She bumped into his chest. He cupped a warm hand against her cold cheek. He brushed his thumb against the cut on her lip. Her lips were soft. Tom licked his lips. He knew he had to back away from her. Nothing good was going to happen. Victoria closed her eyes and placed her hand over his.

"Yeh beautiful, Victoria. Don't let anyone tell yeh otherwise."

Her lips curved into a smile. It was the first time he had ever said her full name. She opened her blue eyes and blushed. Tom was staring at her. He watched the way the shadows played on her face, the way the wind ruffled her hair, the way her eyes shined when she looked at him. He wanted to lean down and kiss her. He wanted to hold her against him. He wanted to drown himself in the scent of lavender and vanilla.

"And, you're a handsome devil," she whispered.

Tom barely heard her over the howling of the wind. He felt his cheeks heat up. She was making it difficult for him. He wanted to push her away. But his body brought her even closer. Now, they were chest-to-chest. No space was between them. Tom's face dipped to hers. Slowly, she lifted her face up. Her breathing was short and fast. Tom needed to pull away, but his body didn't listen.

He captured her lips. She was cold all over. But when she opened her mouth, warmth spread everywhere. Both of Tom's hands cupped Victoria's face. He felt her small hands fist his shirt. Their tongues moved together like the tides. Then, it stopped. Victoria pulled away, her face flushed. She wiped at the saliva at her lips. She put distance between herself and Tom.

"That… that didn't happen," she said. "I'm so sorry."

She walked past Tom, trying her best to not look at him. He just stood there, arms hanging at his sides. He heard her shoes scraping at the rusting metal of the latter. Tom didn't move from where he stood. There was no way he was going to forget that. No matter how far or how fast he ran.