Don't Go

"Come on, Vicky," Oli sighed over the phone. "We're doin' a shoot today."

It was a week since she'd kissed Tom. And, it was a week since she avoided both Sykes brothers. She knew she couldn't avoid them forever. She just hoped Tom wasn't going to be around.

"Fine," she said. "Will Tom be there?"

On the other line, she heard shuffling. She also heard Tom's voice. Her heart clenched. It felt like someone was trying to pull it from her chest. Victoria felt so miserable. She didn't mean to tell him to forget about it. It just seemed so right at the time. And, the look on his face when she pushed past him. It was that face that haunted her now.

"Ah, no," Oli's voice rang in her ear. "He's busy. Says he's goin' on a date."

Victoria bit her lip. "Okay."

"Wha's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Vicky…"

"There's nothing wrong, Oli," she snapped. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell. I've barely been sleeping."

And, it was true. She'd stay up late at night, staring at the stars. She'd wish she could take her words back. And, the most, she wished she didn't kiss Tom. Victoria didn't know why the kiss happened. It was a drunken state. Yes. That was all it was.

"Yeh better friends wiff Matty than wiff me," Oli whined.

Victoria laughed, problems forgotten. "You know that's not true."

"Wha's not true?"

Speak of the Devil and He shall appear. Matty stood in her doorframe, hair still wet from his shower. Victoria was surprised he lived so close, only fifteen minutes away in his own apartment.

"See wha' I mean! I haven't seen yeh in a few days and Matty gets ta waltz inta yeh house like it's his own," Oli spoke loudly. "Yeh don't love me!"

Victoria rolled her eyes. "See you soon, Oliver."

She sighed and stared at her friend. Matty was snooping around her room, opening drawers.

"Why don't yeh have any sexy underwear? Or bras?" Matty pulled out a plain black bra. "Are yeh a granny or somefing?"

Victoria's face turned the darkest shade of red. "Shut up. Why would I get 'sexy' stuff? I don't have anyone to wear it for anyway!"

Matty laughed, clutching his stomach. "Wear them for me."

He winked and moved himself in front of her. He placed his hands on her hips, watching her as she squirmed. Matty moved his face closer to Victoria's. Her eyes widened, face burning with each passing second. She knew she shouldn't feel uncomfortable. It was just Matty's way to help her move forward. She told him of her past, the day she was alone with him. He was so angry. He wanted to hurt something - or someone. Matty's laugh brought her back to the present.

"You're an idiot." She pushed him away.

"Then wear it for Tommy-boy," Matty wiggled his brows.

He knew. She told him that night when they dropped of Lee and Matt. He held her hand as she cried about it. He told her that it was okay. That Tom was used to things like that. It didn't make anything better. All it did was make things worse. She had cried harder.

"We're going shopping for this shit," Matty kissed her forehead. "In case yeh get lucky, yeh need ta look extra nice."

"Why? If I'm going to have to take it off anyway."

He stuck out his tongue and went out the door. "Get dressed, Vicky. We leave in an hour."



"Quit fidgeting," Matty playfully swatted Vicky's leg. "Yeh look fine."

Her eyes narrowed. "Shut up. I look stupid. I have makeup on."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeh look propa gorgeous. Drop dead sexy. Now, get over it."

Victoria huffed as her cheeks reddened. Not from embarrassment. It was more of anger. Matty must have sensed it because he went off to talk to the photographer. Victoria stood there as awkward as ever, fiddling with her fingers. She felt like crap. Even the makeup artist noticed how deep her bags were.

"Are yeh excited?" Oli hung an arm over her shoulders. "Yeh look nice. Yeh got a lot of makeup on, though."

He made a face, causing Victoria to laugh. Truth be told, she wasn't excited. She didn't know what to do. She was barefoot in the middle of nowhere. They didn't want her to wear shows. Said they wanted it to be natural. And, if pounds of makeup was natural, she didn't want to know how they described unnatural. Victoria toed the ground, wishing she were back home in her warm bed. Oli grabbed Victoria's hand and lead her to the edge of the trees.

"Tom told me wha' happened," Oli gave her a sad smile. "Why'd yeh do tha'?"

"I was drunk."

Oli shook his head. "Yeh weren't tha' bad. So, why?"

"I don't know, Oli, I really don't," she played with the ends of her hair. "I wish I knew."

"Now, tell me, why have yeh been avoidin' me," he narrowed his eyes playfully. "Matty gets ta see yeh everyday. It's not fair."

"I never said you couldn't come by," she smiled. "Just… drop the whole Tom and I kiss thing."

He kissed the top of her head and told her they were shooting in five. Victoria stayed back. She didn't want to be around anyone. Matty would tease her to no end and Oli would make her spill her secrets.

"Wha' yeh thinkin' about?"

Victoria's heart skipped a beat. She looked to her left. Jordan smiled at her. She smiled back and rolled her shoulders.

"I'm thinking about how my face hurts with all this makeup," she laughed. "It's going to be a pain to take it off."

He laughed with her. "Yeah. Yeh have a lot. Macy normally doesn't add so much. Yeh must've looked like shit."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "You do know how to charm a girl."

"Glad ta make you feel better."

He winked and went off to his own thing. She watched as everyone ran to get things together for the shoot. Matty waved her over. She contemplated whether she wanted to go or just stand there, flipping her the bird. Victoria sighed as she walked over, adding the finger anyway. He grabbed her wrist, pulling her close.

"Don't do tha'," Marry said. "And, uh, Tom's comin'."

Victoria's eyes rose. "I thought he was busy…"

"Oli said he left somethin' at his flat," Matty shrugged. "Don't let it get ta yeh."

She shook her head. Riiight. Don't let it get to me? She made out with the guy. And, he was going on a date soon. How could she not let it get to her? If only she was unconscious. Then, she could control what was happening. But, she wasn't dreaming. This was real life.

"Aye, breathe, Vicky. Yeh turnin' blue!" Matty gripped her by the shoulders.

Victoria shook her head, ridding herself of those thoughts. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," he brought her to his chest. "It's okay. Geez, yeh like a girl."

She laughed, pushing him away. "I am a girl. I figured you'd noticed since your eyes keep looking at my damn chest."

This time she made Matty blush. He looked like a fish out of water - eyes wide, mouth opening and closing. She shrugged, letting out a laugh. She turned and walked off. Victoria heard a camera shutter to her right. The photographer moved his camera from his face and gave her a sheepish smile.

"Yeh smile is nice," he said. "Are yeh ready?"

Victoria was going to shake her head, but caught herself. She had to do this. She came out of her way to help Oli out. She smiled at the photographer, Elijah, and nodded. He waved her over to the equipment. Victoria ran a hand through her hair as she stood near the lights. I'm never doing this again, she thought. The flash blinded her momentarily. When the bright dots left her vision, she noticed a familiar figure. Her stomach turned. Not because it was Tom. Not because he was watching her. But, because his fingers were placed around another girl's.

It didn’t matter.

It doesn't matter.

But, for some stupid reason, her heart said it did.