Alone

I hated that it was barely Tuesday. I wished and wished it was Friday so that maybe this embarrassing moment would wash over the weekend. Instead I had three more days to get through the week and that wasn't including today.

Tuesday was cold but not raining, or at least for now.

Getting up for school was awful since it was so cold and being snuggled beneath my blankets was ridiculously comfortable.

The pull over in my closet was calling my name so I went with that. It was the closest thing I had to being wrapped in a blanket.

"Mom, Im ready!" I yelled grabbing an apple from the counter.

She came down in her business attire and her own little brief case with acceptable heels that elongated her already long legs.

We both walked out the door and settled ourselves in the car.

She was ever so quiet in the car and I knew exactly why. Today she was meeting up with my idiot dad and they were settling the last of the properties we owned.

We both were already having a rough day and it was barely seven thirty in the fucking morning.

It stung my heart to see her so sad. Bags had formed underneath her eyes and her body sagged. She had caught sight of my pity for her. She straightened her back and lifted her head. My mother was never one to show weakness, it just wasn't we thing.

It sucked because I knew my mom still was madly, even deeply, still in love with my dad. And without consideration, my father had yanked a piece if her heart, ruthlessly and unforgivingly.

Last night I couldn't sleep either. I was replaying my interactions with Austin over and over again.

I couldn't help but be mesmerized by the way the rain fell down his face and how his wet hair was as dark as ever, even though his hair was a usual dirty sandy color, almost light brown in some lighting.

"Good luck mom." I forced a smile and left the car as we stopped in front of the school.

My breath was like smoke in the air and followed me until I got into my warm class. Although I was relatively early with seven minutes to spare, I was late because I decided to take the detour to class and roam the hallways looking at the grey streaks of clouds above me.

Entering the class was horribly awkward and I myself never handled those situation types well. Everyone's eyes fell on me, except Austin. I wasn't expecting his sympathy or even guilt from him, but a glance would suffice.

He had a regular zip up today, different from yesterday with a beanie that emphasized his runway cheek bones and the scruffs he'd been growing.
They covered the sides if his jaw line and crept up like vines. I admired how they were a shade or two darker than his actual hair. It made them stand out more.

I decided to pick up where I started. Hating everyone and everything except Kristen, my mom, and Tori.

I'd have to tolerate Patrick for obvious reasons but my bitchiness was back. I'd never felt like such a fool.

Even though my mind had been occupied with Austin all morning, I had to stop now because having him a few feet away from me was not a good idea.

"Emma?" My head snapped up to my teacher.

"Are you going to give up the homework assignment?"

"Didn't do it." I shrugged.

The class fell quiet as everyone shifted in their chairs like they'd done yesterday. No one had ever really worked up the nerve to talk to Ms. Payne like that. Everyone was always oddly polite around her.

"Do you not care that you didn't do the assignment?" She looked at me sternly. "Do we need to have a chat with your mom and administration about you not doing homework?" She cocked her hip and lowered her head.

Her usual intimidation wasn't applicable to me today. I wasn't in the mood at all.

"I don't know maybe." I shrugged her off.

"Excuse me?" She seemed a little thrown off from my sudden boldness, he'll I was too.

"I don't care." I repeated.

"Emma!" She sounded so surprised by my attitude, furrowing her eyebrows.

"You asked me a question, I answered."

"Emma stop." Austin growled.

The whole class must've suffered from whiplash and you could almost hear every one of them hold their breath for a second.

"You know what I'll make it easier," I stood up from my seat, "I'll go have a chat with administration myself."

The teacher stood there in awe with some anger in her eyes in her dark eyes.

"And I don't need you telling me what to do." I growled back and left the room without another word.

I walked down the hallway and rushed to the bathroom. Tears welled in my eyes and I could feel them begin to fall. I was angry and aching all in one. . I didn't care for today. I knew it was going to be a bad day since I woke up.

I obviously wasn't going to go to the stupid office, I was going to leave school.

I may not be school savvy but I did know my way around this bitch. I walked casually to the main office. It wasn't that hard to leave through the front doors. Especially since I wasn't walking around looking like I had a bomb strapped to my chest. The only questionable thing was the pink rim around my eyes from shedding a few tears.

I had managed to leave school and now I had to somehow get to my house before I could fully breakdown.

The air around me grew dense and breathing became an impossible task. I was never able to handle pressure well. The funny thing was Austin nor that bitch teacher had done anything to make me feel pressured. I escalated the problem, but I'd never admit to that. At least out loud I won't.

The nerve Austin had to even open his mouth was stirring in my head. It confused and annoyed me.

One day Austin would look at me with this warm passionate blue eyed stare and other days he looked at me like he felt sorry for me or even disgusted. Like I irritated him.

My phone was vibrating in my pocket for the thousandth time. It was Kristen. I don't know how she knew already, but she had already begun her persistent pleading.

I shut off my phone and shoved it inside my bag. My breath became rugged and wheezy. I was struggling to get home in the cold all angry and worked up. My throat was on fire from the cold air and my nose resembled an ice cube if that, I was beginning to believe that it'd fall off.

After an hour had passed, I finally reached my front door to realize I had forgotten my house key.
I plopped myself down on my porch and began to cry. I looked like a little girl hugging her knees with her head pressed against them throwing a tantrum.

And I was throwing a tantrum. No one was around me but I continued in muttering curse words to myself. My body tensed as the wind blew by.

I huddled into the corner for an hour crying and occasionally knocking out before I began to roam around the house trying to find a way in.

All the windows were locked and I was not about to shatter one. It didn't help that my mom doesn't believe in spare keys. She always said it was far too dangerous.

I turned my phone back on to see, behind all the notifications, my moms message saying she was going to pick up Tori and go to the spa. I wasn't going to protest and make her go home to unlock the door since she was probably experiencing the worst day of her life.

Today was bad, but not the worse...yet.

In my mindset this was the worst but it was nothing compared to the day my dad left.

My phone began to ring and a series of numbers appeared.

"Hello?" I answered hoping it was my mom using the office phone saying never mind, I'm coming home.

"Emma!" The male voice told me otherwise.

"What? Who is this!" I cried officially done with today.

"Where are you?" I recognized the voice.

"Austin leave me alone." I yelled.

"Are you at home?" He asked.

"No, I forgot my stupid key!" I cried totally defeated as I felt little sprinkles land on my forehead.

"Go to my house Emma." He almost demanded, cruel and huskily.

"I'm fine, stop worrying about me." I gritted.

"The spare key is underneath the stone in front of the door. Go please." He said again still low and with desperation laced in his tone.

There it was again. Him acting like he cared.

"No." I ended the phone call. Second later the same series of numbers appeared on my phone screen.

I opened the message:

The house alarm code is 3206

I locked my phone and shoved it back in my bag, plopping myself back on the damp porch.

I was stressed to the max and couldn't decide what to do.

Stay on my porch for four more hours or go into Austin's cozy house.

I hated that this would be like giving in to his words after all the frustration he'd put me through.

I got up and began to walk across the street with my bag slung over my head trying not to get too wet, but that was useless. The clouds had continued their rage from yesterday and the wind blew beneath my shirt.

I desperately searched for the stone until I had realized it was an actual stone that had not been cemented down.

Underneath the small stone that would probably take hours for someone to find without a clue, was a silver key.

I grabbed the key and turned the one of the two double does open. I looked to my left to the alarm panel. It was the same I had at home until we uninstalled it. It'd become too much if a hassle to remember to lock and unlock everything.

I entered the code I had remembered. I looked around for a while admiring the espresso stained floor and how it glimmered with the few strokes of light that shun in. The ceilings were high and painted white with dark beams across. Everything about the house was modern and elegant. Delicate vases and exotic flowers placed through and through.

The stairs immediately greeted you and his house was separated in wings. The stairs divided the house in half and upstairs was purely offices and rooms and conjoined bathrooms.
At least from what I could remember.

Everything else had been rearranged and modernized. The Riley's were always simple people and to see their house this extravagant had led me to assume they had taken in more wealth, not that it mattered to me.

They were never people to have this much style in their home.

I carefully stepped up the stairs too scared to scratch the perfect steps that were moderately clean.

I walked down the hallway filled with perfect pictures of Austin's childhood and priceless memories. His sandy hair was always well kept and perfect with his sea blue sometimes mossy colored eyes. It almost irritated me how perfect he was to have all this to himself and not another sibling to share these beautiful things with. It annoyed me most that he had grown up and had only gotten more devilishly handsome.

I peaked through every door until I came across his. I knew it was his because there was a white post it written on by his mom informing him where dinner was and that her and Mr. Riley would be attending a meeting and wouldn't be home until eleven. It bothered me that they didn't end the note with a 'I love you' or 'be careful.'
It seemed neglectful but I shrugged it off as I walked inside the room. The espresso wood continued into the room. The furniture around me matched the wood and looked as slick as ever. His bed was modern looking and consisted of a dark navy blue comforter that had a random slate grey stripe at the base of it. The colors were weird together but it fit and had matching pillows.

At the desk was a notebook and a laptop with wires streaming down to an outlet. A weird painting was hung above that displayed muddy colored streak and one burnt orange smudge in the middle.

I didn't want to snoop but my hands led me to his notebook opening it. He had small boyish handwriting that sometimes fell beneath the lines. It was small and boyish but not messy.
The notebook mostly had homework and math problems scattered here and there. I closed the notebook leaving it in its place. I didn't bother opening the laptop, it felt wrong to even think of it as an option.

Across his room were curtains. I was expecting a large window but instead there was a balcony with two comfortably cushioned wicker chairs.

I realized I'd been dripping water all over the place as I walked back to his bed. I went to his bathroom and quickly wrapped a loose towel around my hair that was lazily hanging on a hook.

It felt weird taking my clothes off in anywhere but my own bathroom or room, but my clothes were cold and wet, which was of course uncomfortable. I left my bra and underwear hoping I could keep them from getting a little more than damp.

I walked to the corner of his room with a towel wrapped around my head and picked up a loose white t-shirt from the floor. I shrugged it on an searched for bottoms.

In the end I found myself wearing some grey pajama bottoms and a pullover of his. It was all too cold in this house and the spacious room didn't help. I didn't want to at first, but I slid underneath his comforter wrapping it around me.

His beautiful scent once again ambushed my nose and somehow almost knocked me out. There was something about the way Austin Riley smelled. It was masculine and fresh yet comforting. As much as I wanted to sock him square in the face and hope he'd be even the slightest bit dazed by it, my body had sunken far too deep into the bed. I didn't think I would, but as soon as my head touched the soft pillow, I knocked out.
After a good cry, always came good sleep.