Coffee Shop Soundtrack

“Hey nice show man.”

I looked over my shoulder at Garrett, “Yeah, you too. It’s nice to be home.” I looked back at my guitar case and bent down to fasten it closed.

The guys and I just got back from a three month tour and we decided to play a small show just for our friends and family. There’s nothing like looking into a crowd of faces you love, faces that helped you grow. I was so happy we were back here to just relax for a few months.

“Yeah, you heard who else is back, right?”

I shot up and turned around. My heart had dropped at just the thought of seeing her again. “You’re kidding.”

“Shit,” Garrett said. “I shouldn’t have said anything.” He started to walk away. I guess the expression on my face worried him.

“Hey,” I called out to him. He turned around. “I’m fine, really.”

“You sure, John?” His face was concerned and even though it was unnecessary, I loved him for it. He was like a brother, Always looking out for me.

I nodded. “I probably won’t even see her.”

He gave me an encouraging smile and spun around to where his parents were waiting.

Instead of rushing over to talk to friends, I took a minute and sat on the ground in front of my case. I put my face in my hands and sighed. What if I did see her again? We had the same friends, we like the same places. It was only a matter of time before I ran into her somewhere. What the hell would I do? Makenna Raze was back in town, and so was I. This hasn’t happened since high school.

“Babe,” I looked up, “What are you doing? Everyone wants to talk to you. Nobody has seen you since before you left.” Ashlyn was hovering over me, her blonde hair put into curls just for tonight.

“I’m sorry, Ash. I was just taking a breather.” I stood up and took one more deep breath. “Let’s go.”

I followed her out into the small crowd of friends and family, saying hellos. I tried to concentrate on the conversations I was in, but my head was somewhere completely different. Once I started thinking about Makenna, it was impossible to stop. I looked down at the almost empty drink in my hand and threw the rest back.

I handed Ashlyn my empty glass and leaned over so only she would hear me. “I need to get some air.” I kissed her on the cheek and weaved through people until I hit the heat outside. Even at night Arizona got to be pretty hot.

I leaned up on the side of the building and tried to think about something else, but no matter what I always went back to Makenna. I took my cell phone out and went through my contacts until I hit the M’s. In the past I tried to delete her number, but I could never bring myself to do it. This time, instead of trying to delete it, I hit the call button. I don’t know what I was thinking, I just did it. My heart felt like it was going to explode.

It rang once. Twice. Three times. “Hey, this is Makenna. Leave a message and I’ll try to get back to you.”

I hung up. What was I thinking? She didn’t want to talk to me, and why should I want to talk to her? But just hearing her voice on a recording made my heart stop and for some reason I hit the call button again.

Voice mail. Again.

I heard the door to the small town venue open and Pat popped out. “Hey, what are you doing out here?”
I didn’t say anything right away, I just waited for him to come up to me before looking at him. “Why didn’t you tell me she was here?”

“Who? What are you talking about?” Pat asked, playing stupid.

I just gave him a look. “Come on, Pat.”

He sighed and leaned against the building, mimicking my body placement. “I don’t know, John. I didn’t want to worry you. I didn’t want you to get upset. I didn’t want you to run off somewhere like you did over Christmas.”

I thought about last December when we were in New York. I had just found out about Makenna being home for Christmas and instead of getting on a flight home with the rest of the guys, I spent a week in Florida with some girl I met on tour.

“Have you talked to her?” I asked.

“Of course I have,” he said. Of course he has. Pat and Makenna have been best friends since they were born and that wasn’t changing any time soon.

“Um,” I started, “Did she say anything? About me, I mean?”

Pat shook his head. “No, but she knows you’re here.” He stood up straight again. “She has a new life now, John. So do you.” He turned around and walked back into the venue.

She does have a new life, Pat’s right about that. I have a new life too, but it’s only because she’s not in it.