Sequel: Running From Lions

Coffee Shop Soundtrack

Thirteen.

We sat under a tree next to the water not saying much. It was still hot but as it got later the temperature was cooling down a little bit.

“I don’t get it,” Makenna said, picking up a rock and throwing it in the lake. “You used to like celebrating your birthday. What happened?”

I shrugged. “Nothing.”

She looked at me with her I-know-it’s-not-nothing face. “Why can’t you tell me?”

I smirked at her, “Because I don’t want to.”

“So it is something,” she smiled and laughed. “Come on, just tell me.”

“Don’t you think I’ve told you enough of my secrets this week?” I asked, thinking back to my admittance of all of the songs that I had written about her. “Seriously, once I tell you, you’re going to just wish you didn’t ask.”

“Try me,” She said.

I sighed. “Do you remember my birthday junior year?”

She thought for a minute and then nodded. “We all hung out here.” She laughed. “Garrett stole a bunch of beer from his cousin.”

I nodded and smiled, remembering the days I wish I could go back to. “I was excited for my birthday that year. It was hard to get us all together that summer. Someone was always busy. You and I spent most of our time together and I didn’t see the guys that much. But my birthday, it was finally going to be all of us again.” I looked out at the lake and continued. “I guess I just had this perfect picture in my head of how the day would turn out. All of us would sit around the fire drinking and singing. Jared would drink way more than everyone else and not know what was going on. Kennedy would be glued to his guitar the entire night.” I sighed, “And I would spend the entire night with my arms wrapped around you while the guys pretended to act surprised.”

“But I showed up with Kevin,” Makenna remembered.

I didn’t look at her and I didn’t say anything. I just kept my eyes glued to the lake, remembering the night too clearly. Makenna cuddling with Kevin Smith next to the fire. Watching them escape into the trees to do who knows what. Makenna was the reason why I hated my birthday, and here I was spending it with her again.

“John,” she said.

I didn’t say anything back. I didn’t know what to say. I felt her cool hand on my cheek and I finally turned to face her again.

“John,” she said again. I noticed that her eyes were damp and she was trying to hold back tears. She cried so easily. Or maybe I just made her cry so easily. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

I thought about how many times I’ve seen Makenna cry. Most of them were because of me. She used to come to me crying, tell me I’m a jerk, tell me she couldn’t be around me anymore. And then I would kiss her and everything would be okay again. This time wasn’t like that. Things would never be okay for me.

I put my hand over hers and moved it away from my face. “It was my fault,” I said. “I had so many chances and I never took any of them.”

I was just realizing that hanging out with Makenna wasn’t great like I thought it would be and it wasn’t how it used to be either. It was just this huge reminder of what an idiot I was in high school. She brought back good memories, but she also brought back bad ones. Now I understand why she didn’t want to see me in the first place.

I stood up. “You were right,” I said. “We shouldn’t be friends.”

“What?” She said, standing up and grabbing my arm. “John, what are you talking about?”

I shrugged her hand off. “I can’t do this, Makenna. I can’t sit here and pretend that you and I aren’t supposed to be together. I can’t just forget every single time I’ve kissed you. I can’t forget that I kissed you the other night and that you kissed me back. I just can’t do it. And being with you, seeing you, talking to you, it’s all just a constant reminder of how much I fucked up back then and what I’m going to be missing out on for the rest of my life.”

Makenna didn’t say anything and I didn’t blame her. Nothing she said would make any of this better. In high school, she was my best friend, except behind closed doors we were more than that. She wanted it to be public, she wanted to be a couple, she wanted to be able to walk through the school holding hands. I wanted that too, but at the same time I didn’t. And every time I told her no, she said anything that was going on between us was over. Until one day she actually meant it. It’s my own fault things are the way they are.

“I’ll see you around.” I turned around and started walking towards the parking lot. I would have to walk home but I was fine with that. At least I would get some time alone on my birthday.

“John, wait,” Makenna called after me. I could hear her jog towards me. “John.”

I turned around to face her and she stopped a couple of feet in front of me.

I sighed. “What, Ken?”

She looked at me for a second. I could tell she wanted to say something but she didn’t know what. She just bit her lip and looked down at her feet. She wasn’t going to say anything. I turned around again.

“Wait,” she said, again. “Please.”

I turned back to face her. Her eyes were tearing up again.

“Did you love me, John?”

My mind immediately flashed back to a time in my bedroom when she asked almost the same exact question and I told her ‘no’. But I lied then.

I swallowed and looked at her. “Yes.”

She took a couple of steps closer to me and grabbed my hand with both of hers. “You should’ve told me.”

I nodded, “I know.”

She dropped my hand and looked up at me, but didn’t say anything. She then wrapped her arms around me and buried her head in my chest. I could tell she was crying. Not hard, hardly at all, but she was crying. I folded my arms around her and held her. She loosened her grip around me and slightly pulled back, looking up at me. I leaned over and rested my forehead on hers. She put one hand on the back of my neck and I immediately felt my heart speed up. Slowly but surely, her mouth landed on mine.

If I was a better man, I wouldn’t have kissed her. I would’ve stopped it. But I’m not a good person, and standing here kissing me was the only girl I’ve ever wanted.

I kissed her back.
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Does anyone even read this? Hahaha.